(no subject)

[logos]

I'm not honestly sure I see the point in being Merlin. I've seen some of my futures, and they're... well, crap, and they're crap because I made everything crap. I'm the Emperor of Crap, freely dispensing crap to all, especially those who don't want it.

Even trying to avoid that has been pretty crap. And even if you promised, really truly promised that it doesn't happen that way, that I actually learn how to do magic without being a complete idiot about it, I wouldn't trust you. All adults lie, even — especially — the ones who mean well. That's just how it is.

Comments

[yahdlugohnikh]

Do not be so hard on yourself.

[logos]

This isn't a self-esteem thing, I promise. I saw it. I was a big jerk.

[yahdlugohnikh]

Past tense?

[logos]

Hah, yes. Past tense as in the future that I saw in the past, that may still happen, except I'm absolutely not going to let it, except these things aren't totally under my control...

[yahdlugohnikh]

You speak of control as if you do not have it.

[logos]

I have some control. It's not going to happen that way, but it could happen in a different way if I'm not careful. Bloody futures.

[yahdlugohnikh]

They do not have to be bloody.

[logos]

That is the idea, yes.

[yahdlugohnikh]

[Soft chuckle, she nods.]

A humble warrior is a strong warrior. I do not think you will go down the dark road that you fear.

[hexappeal]

You're too young to be so bitter.

You know how it is. You can take a shot in the dark, or you can fade into obscurity. Is not existing better than potentially making mistakes? And will retiring from magic and fading away even make a difference?

[logos]

It'd be bitterness if I were upset about it. I'm not, really. Not anymore. My dad — both of them — had their reasons. Even Mr. E did. And retirement has never been an option, but I don't have to be Merlin, so long as I'm not the moron selling my memories to demons.

[hexappeal]

Point taken. Particularly since you aren't exactly wrong with your assessment of adults.

As you're already aware, there is always another path. Might as well let your player open the door. If you don't like where it leads, just create a new one. I have faith in you.

[logos]

[Smiling—]

I don't think I'll ever be able to reach through a page, Zatanna.

[hexappeal]

Until you need to.

Then you'll tumble on through, headfirst. Remember to cover your head and roll when you hit the ground.