Canon is Ca$h.

[and32cents]

Aw, c'mon! Haven't I already been through enough, here? First that....asshole puts me through the wringer, now you want to do this to me? Nuh-uh. No way. You're not dragging me into this!

Comments

[and32cents]

[ Okay, now he's getting a bit frustrated. ]

Who the hell is Thor?!

[tasteslikecoconut]

Have you lived under the ocean your entire life? Captain America knows more than you do, and that is just sad.

[and32cents]

I don't read comic books!

[tasteslikecoconut]

I'm from a movie! Three movies!

[and32cents]

...what?

[tasteslikecoconut]

You know what? This conversation is stupid. I need to go blow stuff up and drink copious amounts of coffee.

[and32cents]

Hold on a sec. You knew you were made up? This whole time?!

[tasteslikecoconut]

You are stunningly observant.

[and32cents]

And you're a jackass. You expected me to have seen your damn movies, even though I've been broke?!

[tasteslikecoconut]

Haven't heard that one before either. And you're broke? That's unfortunate, because my first movie is still going for around $9.99 plus tax, despite its release date being four years ago.

[and32cents]

You do know what BROKE means, right?

[tasteslikecoconut]

Look, I could even buy it for you.

[He's a billionaire, he does what he wants.]

[and32cents]

Why the hell would I want it?

[tasteslikecoconut]

Because then you would understand the heart felt and depressingly awesome beginnings of a true hero.

[So maybe that's slightly extravagant...]

[and32cents]

So it's not a movie about you?

[tasteslikecoconut]

...Have you been talking to Fury, because that's just unfortunate. Never listen to him, about anything. And look at the patch, he loves that. Also, not funny. See? Not laughing.

[and32cents]

No idea who Fury is. But I HAVE been talking to you.

[tasteslikecoconut]

Yes. Yes you have. That was a very cohesive thought, I'm proud of you, Not-Thor.

[and32cents]

WHO THE HELL IS THOR?!

[tasteslikecoconut]

GOD OF THUNDER. Hasn't anyone taught you Norse Mythology? Good lord.

[and32cents]

Well excuse me! Not all of us get a chance to study mythology! Not exactly high on the list of things you need for a job!

[tasteslikecoconut]

Clearly that should be on your list of things to know when talking with a Norse god. ...You do realize Reindeer Games is Thor's not-quite-but-basically-brother, right? And you fought him. That would be badass except that you, you know, insulted me. And called me fake, that's just rude.

[and32cents]

Aw c'mon! You're a MOVIE character! What the hell else was I supposed to think?

[tasteslikecoconut]

If a person is fake and they don't know it, why would you think telling them they're not real would be a good conversation starter? It's not, by the way.

[and32cents]

And insisting someone is another person entirely IS? You've got some serious issues.