dear_mun | Trying to get the voice back

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Trying to get the voice back

So, right when your main version of me is finally starting to be less weak and useless and her game might finally be moving over here, you decide that maybe you want to app me somewhere after all? You don't even have a good reason! No, a player in your current game maybe eyeing it and a Melanie who just dropped out because of apper's lack of time aren't good reasons. ~~I wouldn't want Terry, anyway. Not after everything. And Melanie wouldn't even be a candidate for Batwoman at that point.~~

Just. Drop it. You don't even have any real plans for me, unlike your others.

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Huh. I know the Bat-look anywhere, but you? I don't recognize.

Might want to talk to the big guy before using his style.

Not surprising. Not only am I from the future, I'm apparently not even "canon".

We have an understanding with the old man, don't you worry.

Trust me, there are worse things than being non-canon.

'Old man'? [Snrk.] Not even I got away with calling him that. But, if he ever gets too crotchety, call him Bat-dad. That's pure entertainment right there.

Does make it harder to get out.

[Shrug] That's what he is now. Not calling him Bat-dad, he's not a father. [Despite what the DNA test to identify Terry's body said.]

At least you don't have to deal with the universe rebooting itself every couple minutes.

Actually, he is. He's got a son, and two adopted kids; a boy and girl. You're looking at the guy.

True.

How do you know about Batman's biological children?

I kinda helped train the brat wonder. He's a good kid, if a little... messed up. His mom wasn't exactly... normal. He is my little brother after all.

Huh.

[Getting out a batarang. There were only two Robins in her world, and he's not either of them.]

You are?

Robin. *Perfectly unafraid and self-assured.* Also, faster than you.

*advantages to being trained since birth? He knows them. And if she doesn't believe him, it's her own fault, right?*

Too young to be any Robin I've ever heard of.

>Tt.< Alternate worlds. You can say I'm the ultimate Robin. The son of Batman.

Ultimate Robin, maybe, but you're not Batman's heir.

Don't count on that.

Don't have to. I know what the Bat-family's future is. Who the real heir is. And he was worth ten of you.

>Tt.< In your future. In one of mine, it is me and not Father who trains McGinnis.

... Dana?

[Heeeee's just going to... be over here sounding extremely tentative.]

[So many conflicting feelings. Luckily she's met Terry alive here before, so she doesn't go straight to the angry response, but...]

Terry.

So I guess you weren't murdered by Shriek?

Uh.

[Yep, that's about all the eloquence he can muster at the moment. And then he just looks at her - really - looks. It's hard, with the cowl, but then he's done more than his fair share of reading between the lines.

Dana. In the cowl. Saying he was murdered.

Funny how his first thought is to be angry at Bruce.]

You mean with the--

[The tower, the tuning forks, Shriek messing with everyone just for a chance to get back at the Batman. He gestures a little, when words fail, and then clears his throat.]

No.

[Oh, she's plenty angry at Wayne. Then and still now.]

With the demand for your life. Yes. [Blunt]

That's not how it was supposed to turn out. But it did for my world.

That was four years ago.

[He grimaces.]

Four years? God, Dana--

[What exactly is he supposed to say? Sorry? He knows how trite that would sound. So he expounds on it, a little.]

I'm sorry you had to find out that way.

[Still not looking him in the eye.]

So was Max. Not sorry enough to tell me on her own, though.

... So how'd it happen?

[This, he means. Bat... girl? Woman? His girlfriend living with this curse.

Don't get him wrong. This life... it's his, and he wouldn't change that. But he'd never wish it on anyone else, especially not on someone he loves. Not on Dana.]

Shriek wasn't finished. You were dead, Wayne was too old to stop him, so Max and I took matters into our own hands.

[Damnit, Max. He doesn't say it aloud. She, more than even Bruce, should have known how little he'd have wanted Dana getting mixed up in all this.

It probably shouldn't be easier to accept the idea of his own alternate dimension death than his girlfriend becoming a vigilante to avenge it, huh.

He doesn't speak for a while. He can guess how it all went down. Max, Dana-- does he even want to know about Matt? Jesus, about Mom? And it's not like the old man needed one more thing to feel guilty about. Not after Drake.

He hopes she didn't kill Shriek, and it-- scares him that he can't say for certain that she wouldn't. He doesn't know her at all like this.]

Hey. [It's easy to sound gently teasing, rather than flat-out worried. He's always been a good actor.] Take that thing off, will you?

[He gestures at the cowl.]

[Scowl. She lifts up the mask, so he can see her face. It's much harder than it was, and it looks like there might be scars. Once he's gotten a good look, she puts the mask back in place.]

That's all you get.

[His expression stays carefully neutral. It's not like he has to hide who he is anymore, either, and that... that ability to step back and assess is part of it.

It doesn't change the fact that he wants to catch her hands and just-- hold her. For the longest time, Dana's been a spot of light in his life, and he doesn't have the first idea how to treat her now. He half raises one hand as if he's about to try, but then he drops it back to his side.]

So I guess you're pretty mad at me, huh.

[Normal!Dana, on the other hand, is very glad to see Terry.]

Terry!

[So glad that she's running straight into his arms for a kiss.]

[oh look a brief, shining moment of sanity. Excuse him because he hasn't seen his girlfriend in six months and he's only too happy to oblige that kiss.]

Hey, Dane.

[BEST BATGIRLFRIEND.]

[She hasn't seen him in about as long, and she's in the middle of a war. So the kiss, and the hug after finished kissing, might be just a bit desperate.]

Long time, no see. For me, at least.

[Yeah he's sensing that. He doesn't mind so much, though, and tangles his fingers gently in her hair.]

Yeah? How've you been?

[And her face, hidden on his shoulder, twists in pain.]

Up and down.

[Can't leave it at that, though. It wouldn't be honest.]

Most- mostly down, especially lately. The place where I've been, it's been under attack-

But- I think it's almost over.

[Oh, honey. Not what he wanted to hear.]

Wanna talk about it?

[It makes him realize how little he'd said those words before. He'd never had the time. It was always Batman this or Bruce Wayne that, and he'd missed out on so much in Dana's life--

Not a complaint. Just... resigned realization. Wearing the cowl's always been a study in sacrifice. That doesn't mean he can't wish things had been different.]

[Hugs tighter, but she pulls her face off of his shoulder to look him in the eyes.]

If- if you don't mind me unloading on you?

'Course not, Dane. I wouldn't ask otherwise, huh?

[He releases her, though he trails his fingers down her arm and takes her hand. He misses this, okay?]

[Deep breath. There's so much... but there's one thing that underlies a lot.]

Do you think I'm a good person? I- thought I was, and most of the people in Nautilus think so, but- I've done some things that good people aren't supposed to do, and that's had me questioning myself. I want to hear from someone who knows me, who has known me for years.

What? [NOT EVEN REMOTELY WHAT HE WAS EXPECTING give him a second.]

Don't be ridiculous! Of course you're a good person. No contest.

[He tips her chin up gently with his free hand.]

Dana... listen. You're great. You're sweet and kind and come on, you put up with way more than any other girl would, dating me.

[A bit of a self-deprecating smile there. He knows he's crap at this whole boyfriend thing.]

Doing things you don't think any 'good person' would do doesn't make you a bad person, all right? I know that better than anybody. And I know you. And I know you wouldn't do anything without a reason.

[The reminder of what she forgives Terry for gets a brief smile, but-]

It's not like that. I've done something that could be worse than anything you did while- back then. I planted a bomb on an alien ship, with no evidence besides a kid's word that she might use it against the rest of us. Nobody else knows it's there, and I'm going to set it off before telling anyone. Even if nobody's harmed in the explosion, the ship could crush people while crashing, and even if by some miracle nobody is hurt, I'll have antagonized a possibly very dangerous alien. Worse, she might blame Dib for it and take it out on him, even though he had nothing to do with it.

[He's quiet for a moment, then,]

This kid. Do you trust him?

[She's quiet, too.]

He's not a liar... but he is extremely paranoid. He tends to think that everything not human is dangerous. But Tak- the alien- he knows her from his own world, and she's not acting like an innocent wrongly accused.

[She looks down.]

I told Batman about Dib's accusations, but he never told me whether or not she was dangerous. Maybe I should've waited for his assessment, but- I've had enough of waiting for Batman to solve everything.

[Batman. So either some version of him, or one of the other Bats. Good. He's glad she's in good hands. Even if he's a little jealous that they aren't -- well, his hands. Technically speaking. Either way, he won't press.]

Don't second guess yourself, huh? You sound like you've made up your mind already, so the only thing you can really do now is make sure everything works out for the best.

[He's not sure how he feels about Dana being involved in bombing... well, anything. It's definitely a potential downward spiral into darker things and he doesn't want that for her. Not now, or ever.

God, he just hopes that no one dies.

But what can he even say? She's obviously weighed the choices and he doesn't want to waste the time they have together yelling at her for them, even if part of him is angry. He wants to ask what she was thinking, why couldn't she have left it to someone else-- something but instead he just... tries to be what she's always been for him. Something solid, grounding.

He tugs her in for a hug and smooths her hair down. ]

And you should try to lighten up on Batman, huh? The guy's Gotham, through and through. He wouldn't let anything bad happen.

['To you'.]

[She leans into the hug and wraps her arms around his neck, but she tenses when Terry talks about Batman.]

You haven't met him, not the one I have. He's from our world, but he's been changed by his time in Nautilus. He's gotten more detached. What I knew him for before Nautilus was how he disappeared, left Gotham without a protector... He's from his Justice League days, but it feels like he's going to abandon everyone even sooner than he actually does. And- he's given up on trying to change anything, and he won't let anyone help him.

[And sometimes she's afraid he's right.]

Ugh, my mun's forcing me to ask - where was your mun looking?

Yeah, like she has any plans for me, either. The version of me where I'm male and a stripper, she'll play with him for hours. And the version in the dark ages or whatever gets a fic?

Whatever. At least I'm getting left out of all the slagging angst.

Singularity. Where that Terry is. [Nods upward.] Probably not going to go, though, since she thinks I wouldn't have the shock value that I'd have as a guest appearance in Nautilus.

...stripper.

Well, my mun wants me to having nothing to do with boy-me, so I guess that means I'm back to being stuck over here with nothing to do.

Don't even ask me, my mun's a sick person.

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Trying to get the voice back

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((Same Dana, but with a schway new DW journal))

\o/

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