Onward to imperial_saga!

[hit_frappe]

"Lord of Hell" has sort of a nice ring to it. Decor's about the same with my Underworld what with the rivers of flames and the soul-freezing ice. Really, I suppose the big difference is that I can't guarantee peace eternal anymore. That's Namikin's job now.

No, for me, it's quite the exact opposite. And I plan on having a blast with every second of this little reassignment.

Comments

[forceofnature]

Of course you're showing up now. You're like that one guest we always forget to invite on purpose because you eat all the cake and murder the other guests.

Just stay home.

[hit_frappe]

It's called being fashionably late, Rosebud, I already knew about yours and Pretty Palutena's little party. Besides, there's nothing more fashionable than a Ruler of Hell making an entrance to the death cries of hundreds of lives being snuffed out at once. Thanks for getting that set up, by the way.

[forceofnature]

You keep your grubby little hands to yourself. Those souls are going through the cycle and being reincarnated into better things.

Like kittens. Or roses. Or Bumpety Bombs~

[hit_frappe]

As always, your tastes and naming sense reflect your looks rather than your age.

[He gives a shrug.]

Reincarnation is an "afterlife" process, though, and who better to have a say about that than the god-in-chief of the Underworld himself?

[forceofnature]

Everyone else.

No, really; I'd trust the humans with their own reincarnations before you.

[hit_frappe]

Shame you can't just reset me off the face of existence, isn't it, little goddess? Let alone put so much as a dent on my minion surplus.

[forceofnature]

And it's a shame that you've apparently never looked in a mirror, but we can't all be perfect.

Or maybe you're just color-blind.

[hit_frappe]

Isn't time for a certain little gardener to go and water her own dress? All those flowery doodads look and smell like they're starting to dry up.

[forceofnature]

That's just the Cellular Monoeyes clogging up your nostrils. You'd better go get that cleaned up.

[hit_frappe]

Why, Viridi, I didn't know you'd be so knowledgeable about my inner-most parts. You and Pitty Pat haven't been gossiping around the campfire behind my back, have you?

[forceofnature]

Ergh.

I heard more about you from Pit in ten seconds than I ever wanted to hear in five thousand years of existence. I'd say you were rotten inside and out, but you'd probably take that as a compliment.

[hit_frappe]

And you'd be correct.

Speaking of "inner-most parts"... Not mine, of course, but I'm always happy to give anybody a grand tour if they ask... Just what's going on between you and Pitty Pat?

Ever since you two decided to team up against malicious me, you two have been oh-so-close.

[forceofnature]

W-What?! I only tolerated that little suck-up long enough to get rid of you. We barely even talk anymore! And it's not like I'm the one who keeps finding excuses to use my sanctuary.

'Oh, I've just got to clear your Treasure Hunt and it makes more sense to have you!'

'Aw, man, I want to race the Chariot Master again! Chapter 19's my absolute favorite.'

'Is it just me or do your Urgles churn out more hearts than the Strongarms?'

It's so transparent, it's kind of sad. No one said it was easy being this attractive.

[hit_frappe]

What a coincidence! Because I spy with my little eye something else that's transparent. And pouty. I find your denial ever so cute. Disgusting, too.

[forceofnature]

You are such a creep! Don't you ever get tired of being universally despised? And wrong?!

[hit_frappe]

Rule the Underworld for the first few thousand years and you find that it's more fulfilling to be hated and feared than loved. We can't all be flowers and sunshine, Rosebud.

[forceofnature]

Ughhh.

I wonder if Palutena will take badly to an earthquake that accidentally splits the Underworld in half.

[hit_frappe]

You realize then my army, all those souls, and I will need a place to crash. Your place is out of the question. Sulfur and brimstone's one thing, but all that manure? No thanks.

We'll just... have to make due in the wide, open world.

[forceofnature]

Don't worry. I've got a nice, luxury five-star hotel all set up and ready to go, just for you.

It's called the Lunar Sanctum, Mk II. Catchy, huh?

[ptooey]

At least the idiot who put you in charge again had the good sense to give you less responsibilities.