voice testing | forget lone canon warrior, mun is lone FANDOM warrior /sob

[hyperkinetic]

 He-eeey! You're that kooky broad who wants to snog ol' tentacleface!
Ya got some real issues lady, but c'mon, don't we all?
'Cept mine don't involve me wanting to get freaky with an Eldritch sugar daddy, just sayin'.

... What about some guy with a rose? Never heard of 'im.

Aaaanywho, ya better work on gettin' Sam in here real quick too, 'cause I'm seriously gonna have one hell of an ulcer if I gotta keep listening to Captain Cuttlefish and Frenchie Fez verbally sissy-fight each other without anyone to help me come up with even more humiliating nicknames for them!

Comments

I considered a Sam muse once...

[typeswithgloveson]

I'm not gonna lie to you, bunnym'n. You sound like you need a professional nickname coach or somethin'.

that'd be the beeeeest <3

[hyperkinetic]

The dame at the computer must've liked my "Don Calamari" quip though, 'cause she went and stuck Old Man Japanese Schoolgirl Pimp with it! But yeah, Sam always was better with the nicknames, even if they were really stupid half the time! I mean, who the hell calls a bowling ball "Lou"?

I should get right on it

[typeswithgloveson]

Are you sure he didn't just steal the bowling ball from someone named Lou and just pretend it was the ball's name? ... 'cause that would actually be pretty awesome.

I love you so much right now you have no idea

[hyperkinetic]

Hmm... Maybe! I don't remember, it was like 6 years ago or somethin'. Actually my memory's kinda been fuzzier than the vegetables in our refrigerator since I died.

Now I feel really obliged! Baha!

[typeswithgloveson]

You actually put vegetables in your refrigerator?

No wait, I mean - you died? Awesome! Does this mean you're some kind of zombie now? Eat some brains!

It'd make me really happy since Sam & Max muses are rare 'round these parts!

[hyperkinetic]

They're to hide the Glazed MacGuffins from those freeloading rats!

I was a zombie once! But then I got my soul back. Nah, I've got one of those, uh... whadya call 'em... "Transcendental Psychogenic Hiveminds"!

I need to break out the comics and games then, I suppose!

[typeswithgloveson]

A hivemind, eh? I likes the sound of this. I bet you can use it to command all kinds of demonic armies against your unsuspecting foes!

HUGS YOU THROUGH THE INTERWEBS

[hyperkinetic]

I wish! Actually I have no idea how it works. All I know is that I died after I turned into a giant shambling Lovecraftian monster that attacked New York, and I had totally sweet psychic powers, except now I can't remember how to use 'em! Man, having your head catch on fire and explode is LAME! Especially when you can't even watch it happen!

RETURNS THE HUGS

[typeswithgloveson]

Al-right! What do I have to do to ascend into a dark form like that?

~<3

[hyperkinetic]

Uh, for starters I think ya gotta swallow some Dark Dimensional demon yolk, and--

... Lady I keep tellin' ya, I don't know any jerk with swirly hair and a rose! Sheesh, some people just won't take a hint.

[typeswithgloveson]

[STARE. BLINK.]

Who are you talking to?

[hyperkinetic]

The chick with the laptop and the attention span almost as short as mine!

[typeswithgloveson]

Slow down there, bunnym'n. I'm pretty sure you just described every user of Dumpwidth with that statement.

[hyperkinetic]

I meant that one!

[He waves directly at the fourth wall. Hi Max!]

[typeswithgloveson]

[Strong Bad takes a glance over Max's shoulder at that fourth wall. Or is it like, the seventh wall for me?]

Oh, man! That's your mun? [Cue hysterical laughter.]

Max ;u;

[evildoorstop]

Eldritch sugar daddy? I know a thing or two about eldritch forces, demonic forces...EVIIIL! bwahaha! Not so much about sugar...

8D <33333

[hyperkinetic]

He's definitely Eldritch, but I dunno if I'd call him evil. More of a grouchy old tightass who didn't even have an ass 'til recently!

1/2

[evildoorstop]

Ha! The demonic and otherworldly forces just aren't what they used to be. There should be...gates! And tentacles of doom! Terrified mortals suffering in eternal torment, enveloped in darkness!

2/2

[evildoorstop]

Wait...he didn't have one before?

[hyperkinetic]

Eh, he says he's mellowed out past that stuff.
I dunno, I kinda tried it once, didn't work out so well. Well, actually, it worked out great until my head exploded!

Nope! Stuck right onto Pantywaist's waist, the poor schlub.

[evildoorstop]

[Heads, bodies. Either way, there's some vague sympathy from this skull, but there are more important things to consider right now.] What about legs? Did he get legs too?

[hyperkinetic]

Yeah, he looks like some fancypants mob boss or something now! If it weren't for the creepy glowing yellow eyes still ya'd think he was just some overdressed old coot who got lost on his way to the Riverdale retirement home!

[evildoorstop]

How? I've been trying for ages and the most I got what was an uncontrollable skeleton! That I lost! Again! Life is so unfair. ...so's death.

[hyperkinetic]

You're tellin' me! Just 'cause I died now I can't remember how to use my AWESOME psychic powers!

Uh... magic?
And cultists, I think!
I dunno, maybe he could tell ya more. I can't even remember what I had for Sunday brunch last Tuesday!

1/2

[evildoorstop]

I want cultists...Is that too much to ask? Just some minions! With legs!

2/2

[evildoorstop]

But really, death's not so bad. You can terrify the living! Put fear in the mortals! Well, if you're actually scary looking anyway. You don't look dead.

Re: 2/2

[hyperkinetic]

I'm not! I've got a Transcendental Psychogenic Hivemind! I guess it's pretty convenient but maybe more to stop complaining fans who actually take a game with psychic toys and space gorillas way too damn seriously!

[evildoorstop]

So...powerful?

[hyperkinetic]

I dunno! Maybe if anyone could actually figure out how the hell it works, I could tell ya!

[evildoorstop]

Ha, and all I got was immobility.

[hyperkinetic]

Must be like when I was a brain in a jar. Man, that REALLY sucked!

[evildoorstop]

You were a brain in a jar too? I don't even have a brain!

[hyperkinetic]

Then you were just a skull in and jar, and those aren't nearly as cool! Every dime-a-dozen mad scientist's got one of those! When I was a brain in a jar, I still had inexplicable psychic powers!

[evildoorstop]

Ha! Well, I have the inexplicable ability to talk! And be handsome.

[hyperkinetic]

I dunnooooo, I've seen handsomer rotting bones.
Like my great-grandpa Maximus!

[evildoorstop]

Rot? HA! I need no rot! ...though rotting does add terror, doesn't it?

[hyperkinetic]

Usually!

[evildoorstop]

Huh...there was that crypt...not much left there but bones either. How hard could it be to find a little rotting flesh?

[hyperkinetic]

Probably not very hard, especially if you just make some yourself!

[evildoorstop]

Do you have any idea how hard it is to get someone to pick you up so you can bite them?

[hyperkinetic]

Ooh, maybe tell them if they do you'll grant them nine wishes!

[evildoorstop]

And watch their faces twist in torment when they realise I can't! BWA HA HA! Now that is malevolent!