no one has any idea what they're doing

[reddeadvirtuoso]

ok
listen
its pretty obvious you have no idea what youre doing
and this is coming from the king of having no idea what the fuck theyre doing with a single mastery in being really shitty at time travel
but absolutely perfect at time travel humor
because thats all that really matters in life :|
so how about you just step away from the keyboard before you get ahead of yourself
and we both lose it
youve been sitting on this idea for a grand total of ten hours
and as much as i want nothing more to bust in and save everyone like some kind of true american hero or knight in dumb red armor
come to save all the poor bastards who are in way over their heads in horrorterrors and mad science
but i just
dont
just let me have some breathing room for five minutes ok
daves the knight here thats not my job

Comments

[reddeadvirtuoso]

sorry not available for purchase in stores
they come for the low low cost of murdering yourself in cold blood
order now and well throw in a transformation sequence free of charge

wouldnt be surprised
theyre probably secretly vicious little fuckers
getting the drop on all the poisonous snakes and crocodiles and waiting for you to let your guard down so they can plummet and send you to your doom
no one will ever except it because everyone thinks theyre so fluffy and adorable until one day youre looking up to find all these motherfuking koalas in the trees and on the office buildings
and the next thing you know its koala overlords under the thread of humiliating furry death

[haxxxish]

wow
so pretty much a bargian

aww cute
<#<#<3
i welceom our koala ovkerlards
could be worse i mean
no aliens no clowns just cute furry marspupils
FUCK ****koalas
and i am ok with dying by koala butt thats a graet death

okay times up how are we feeling

[reddeadvirtuoso]

yep its right there in the bargain bin
you can even find a coupon for it online
they just cant sell enough of this shit

i dont know ive met some aliens and theyre
pretty insane but some of them arent so bad
theyre not threatening me with koala ass all up in my face
thats probably the worst death ever >:O
and ive had a lot of deaths so im basically like an authority on this shit

im feeling like
holy shit my lungs are just so goddamn fresh
having an out of body experience here
talking to a chick with pink text about koalas and clowns
fucking aces

[haxxxish]

what no way!!!
if you die by kolala ass you get to put a koala on your tombstone
its perfect and youre clearly wrong
and okay not aliens just
crazy bitch aliens i guess
why do you die so much is it lkie yr thing

see there ya go youre a new guy thanks to me
youre welcome fyi
over here bengin full of freshnesss
and klolals
not clowns though

[reddeadvirtuoso]

i guess you could say its a
koala-ty death right there
put that on a fucking tombstone why dont you
its not as much my thing as its like
heres this dude were gonna give him magical time powers
but we lost the instruction manual so you have to figure it out on your own
oh by the way if you make one misstep you end up in a doomed timeline and you get stabbed good luck
and this dude they gave these magical time powers to is kind of really shitty at not getting stabbed

thank you i dont know what i wouldve done without you
i feel like i could wrestle a fucking tiger
fresh as a babies bottom after a summer rain or whatever
dont worry clowns are fucking stupid

[haxxxish]

omg nooooooooo
you just toko that way too far
thats beyond bwah bwah or even badumtsch thats just the worst thing ever
augh!!!!!
koala-ty
we cannot be bffsies ok youve ruined our budding fiends hip
*friendship
and as your nonfriend im gonna suggset getting stabbed less and or hanging out w/ ppl who dont have sharp things
all slumber parties in a paddded room
domed timeline sounds shitty tho soz
fuck you tielmine be less doomed

perished obvisusly
drowned in your own teras or something tragic liek that
you can thank me by nto gettnig sbabbed ok
esp not by a clown

[reddeadvirtuoso]

if you cant handle class a humor of this standard
then i am sorry our wonderful friendship was doomed from the start
sorry brosis ill remember you fondly
the timeline really should be less doomed though
in my defense im not hanging out with the guy thats dishing out all the stabbings
thats just what happens when you make another doomed timline
and i make a lot of them

id be dead under the mountain of my own mediocre despair
drowning in the salty remains of my own failures
dont worry thanks to my red pajamas im basically fucking immortal
havent met any clowns but ill pop them one just for you if i do

[haxxxish]

class a for ass!!!!!!
you killed all of my lauhgs dude they are all daed
well make less doomed tiemleins
look at me im solvnig all yor probs for u

wow why is there a mountian w/ an oxean under it
this georghraphy make s no ssense
well ok cool
do they come in pnik btdubs
and this is cool but you nede a cathcpraise
*phrase?
if its good we can be palsies agian

[reddeadvirtuoso]

trust me im trying my best >:(
but it turns out its really hard to figure out what you were already supposed to do or are going to do and what changes things too much and whats ok cause it only changes a little
and then youre making the wrong decision by turning around the corner the wrong way and suddenly bam
dead body around that corner
goddamn

the ocean is under the mountain
like the mountain starts underwater and then it rises out of the ocean and
this analogy is getting fucking stupid
but yeah youre a pretty cool brosis
we can do this
dont got a catchphrase though thats for kids or whatever

[haxxxish]

wow
yep my head hurts n i got none of that whopsie

it rises out of the ocean liek yuor ~*~*~strong spirit~*~*~*~~*~*
overcoming ostbalesc
......... wow idk even
and hey thnaks yep cool as a cucumber pumpking
*kin
theyre the same temp anyway i think
you can be cucumber
what about teh princess brdie one

[reddeadvirtuoso]

tldr time travel is utter fucking bullshit

why am i a pumpkin
am i gonna turn back into some servant girl when the clock ticks midnight
thats fucking lame
do i look like some lame servant kid waiting around on bended knee to help the princess
fuck no
i got my cape and my guns on i am busting outta this ocean full throttle

[haxxxish]

nooooooo pay atetntion ok
you are the cumcumber
wow ****cucumer
*ber
im the pupkim
so yuo can busp wherever you want but basicalyl yr a cumcuber wiht a cape
becuaes youre cool
and ill just roll i guesss

[reddeadvirtuoso]

oh ok
cool
dont worry ill pick you up with my magical cucumber powers and well fly away
to some magical garden vegetable land

[haxxxish]

full of koalals
:3

[reddeadvirtuoso]

fuck yes there will be koalas
climbing all over these freakish vegetable bamboo trees
koalas everywhere

[haxxxish]

yesssss
im gonna ride one
ride a fukcin kolalal
SO SPCYCHED

[reddeadvirtuoso]

gonna need some damn good koala riding gear if youre gonna go all rodeo style here
are you a bad enough dude to wrangle the koalas
are you?

[haxxxish]

im the badedst kloala riding dude
i cloud wrwngle like ten koalsas at once
ride a klolal into the sunste
wear a cowboy hat carry a pimp caen
bipches swoonign
boys sighing

so p much yes i am

[reddeadvirtuoso]

hell fucking yes
wield your pimp cane strong and drop it like its hot
and ill fly around in my badass cape and claim vegetable koala island as our own

[haxxxish]

this is the best idea i ever had
if i had the ieda
i dont remember exxactyl or liek
know whats happening rly
but as long as we hvae vegwala island ill be hapyp <#<3

[reddeadvirtuoso]

vegeala island is beyond ideas
it is a force of nature and a cosmic constant throughout paradoxspace
e will always have it
deep down in our hearts
and the veggy cores of our bones

[haxxxish]

i have never bene this happy
this is p much perfect
and when yuo need brethaing room you can go
2
vegwala
ilsand
and i will be there
to save ur butt
again