dear_mun | on apping again somewhere, idk maybe holly heights...

Good luck with that.

[ sorry if she doesn't sound too sympathic. or caring. ]

Thank you.

[ Marie doesn't mind. Soma on the other hand... B( She feels she should be the one to take control here. ]

[ So she does. ]

You seem unhappy with your own situation.

[ Just a guess. ]

[ have a bored look ]

I'm being dragged out against my will. What's so great about that?

And what would you rather be doing? Sitting around in silence? Nothingness?

Better than being here.

[ whether here is being inside her mun's cramped headspace or out in the open talking with soma and marie is anyone's guess. ]

How pitiful.

[ Soma isn't sure if she feels more irritation or pity. ]

[ go for the former and save yourself some trouble. she shrugs. ]

Same goes for you.

It's better to have something to look forward to.

I know what it's like to have nothing. No one would want to go there.

[ she shrugs ]

I haven't. Can't say I'm complaining.

You could have fooled me.

Lt. Peries? [Salute.]

I didn't expect to see you around here.

Second Lieutenant Smirnov...

[Marie recognizes him and looks torn for a moment. There's a mixture of emotions, and she's not sure what she should say - although she does feel like she should say something.]

I'm not...

[But instead she second guesses herself and looks down rather than finishing her sentence.]

...Right.

[He releases an awkward cough and looks away. His people skills aren't the best in normal situations and this is anything but normal.]

I understand if you don't want to speak to me. [Because of that thing he did.]

No no! It's not that...!

[She waves her hands about and shakes her head.]

We've... never really spoken before. [Marie smiles, even if it is a little sad. But many things were complicated.]

Edited 2012-06-13 23:17 (UTC)

[Yeah, he still thinks he's talking to Soma.]

I suppose that's true. We were only part of the same squad for a short time. [And it was always business besides that one conversation about the Colonel.]

Have you...been well?

[Yeah she expected as much. But she's determined to point this out.]

No, I mean... this is the first time.

[And still she smiles.]

But to answer your question... yes. I've been quite well.

What do you mean by first time?

[Despite the confusion, he can't help but to return her smile with a small one of his own.]

That's nice. He'd be happy to hear that.

[Not that Andrei knew his father all that well but he knew Sergei cared for her.]

You can't tell? Well... I'm sure most can't. Most people don't know I exist.

[It seems like it should be a sad speech, but rather, she smiles the whole time.]

To be honest, I'm not exactly sure why I'm bothering you with such a thing. I guess I just thought you should know.

My name isn't Soma. It's Marie. Marie Parfacy.

Marie. [ Just the sound of her name takes the world off of his shoulders. ] So you were here after all, too.

[ And to see him... it makes her happier than anything else. ]

Surprise. [ With him here, she can smile and laugh; not a care in the world, save for what's in front of her. ]

I was gone for a while, but now I think we can agree I'll be staying for a while.

It's a welcome one. [ His smile is beyond genuine, expression calm. She blankets his nerves, keeps his spirit going. There's nothing he'd rather see than her happy. ]

I'm grateful for that, that you were able to come to an understanding. Especially if it meant that I'd be able to see you again.

My situation was similar, truthfully.

I feel rather fortunate.

To be happy to be here again is one thing. But coming back to find you aren't alone is another gift entirely.

[ She's always felt rather lucky. Today seems to be further proof of how good it is to be alive. ]

[ And Allelujah never would have known what that felt like, if not for her. ]

I decided a long time ago, Marie. Whatever it took, I would protect the future where you would never have to be alone. [ A future where she would never have to fight. ] Even if I had sinned, or had regrets. Even if that became my reason for fighting.

[ With her, not only did all his crosses melt, but all his crosses had meaning. ]

[ Marie reaches up and gently touches her hand to his cheek. ]

That is entirely too sad.

[ It felt like she was somehow responsible for the weight of those words. ]

After all... it's not just my future. It's ours.

[ Because now... Without him, what would it mean? ]

[ Despite himself, he smiles and leans into her touch. He carefully places his hand over hers as reassurance. ]

That's why I'm going to protect it, our future together. I can't let you go again.

[ Not for anything, especially not fighting. But for now it's all he can do. ]

I want to protect it too.

[ Doing what she can, whatever that may be. ]

I promise I'm not going anywhere.

[ Allelujah squeezes her hand. He still thinks it's dangerous, but. That's just their situation, however uneasy it makes him sometimes. ~~Allelujah stop worrying.~~ ]

Thank you. Whatever our regrets may be, we'll face them when the time comes. Until then, I'll be grateful for the new chance you have.

[ Fondly, he drags a thumb across her knuckles. ]

I thought about going home, after this.

[ Even if he tried to argue, he'd find it near impossible to completely dissuade her. ]

Home.

[ It's a word with many meanings... one she's struggled with for a long time. But now, a hint of fondness creeps into her voice.

When he says it... ]

That sounds nice.

[ Hearing it from her in turn makes it seem like a promise rather than an ideal. ]

To the Earth. For a long time I doubted that there was a place for me there anymore. But with you...

[ Well, there's a reason for the saying "Home is where the heart is." It could be anywhere, but he likes the gravity, the weight. ]

[ She would happily swear it to him; right here and now if he asked her too. ]

There was a time I thought I didn't need a place. I was just following everyone else... always chasing other people's shadows...

[ After years of changing ideals... Marie thinks she's finally found it. The understanding she's been looking for. The thing she really wants. ]

But I think I've always known where I wanted to end up. [ Her smile widens a fraction. ] When you think of the 'home' you want... what do you imagine? [ It's just something she's always been a little curious about. ]

Edited 2012-06-15 05:37 (UTC)

Marie... no, I feel the same way. [ It's the part of him still alive with hope that understands he'll never have to ask her to swear it, never have need to. When he remembers nothing else he thinks of her voice, over and over. Maybe there was a time when he feared that he'd lost it forever, the shreds of humanity she'd graced him with, but that fear was something Marie had laid waste to in a matter of minutes.

He still can't help it sometimes, the somewhat childish urge to reach out and touch, feel that she's still her. It comes when he wraps his arms around her shoulders in a hug, near delicate, cheek against her crown.

When he speaks, there is a gentle smile in his voice, free of worry. ]

I don't mind where it is as long as you're there. Though if I were to think about it, I'd like to go somewhere quiet. Somewhere that you could walk for miles and still see the sky. Even if I don't remember where I was born or raised on Earth, I think someplace like that still exists there.

Where there's no fighting, where we can find our own way.

[ Like this, Marie can close her eyes and lean against him; she can wrap her arms loosely around him and just lose herself in the warmth of the embrace. She can imagine it. What once she dreamed of, seems not so far away when he says it. It feels like both so very little and yet so very much has changed. ]

...a cottage, on the edge of a meadow. A place filled with flowers and warmth and sunlight... with open skies...

[ Marie nods her head. The mental image is nice. ]

I believe there must be such a place. And if it exists, surely we can find it. And maybe... someday...

[ There was one thing she longed for, that some time ago she might have feared as much as she desired it. But they, and she, had come some ways since then. And as embarrassing as the thought may be, it still made her heart feel light and giddy - the idea of a place where Allelujah and she might someday have a family of their own. ]

Edited 2012-06-15 10:00 (UTC)

[ It's those changes that still strike him, how something so simple could have an effect so profound. They weren't there yet; they'd have to carve their way into the world battle by battle, upturn all the foundations themselves.

But for now... for now. Her words paint a vivid enough picture for him to believe that it's real, that it's out there waiting for them. And it would be worth the fight. ]

Someday?

[ He tilts his head against her temple. ]

[ Oh right she said that out loud. Ahaha... ha... haaaa... ]

It's nothing. It's just...

[ It's strange. As obvious as it seems her feelings are; there are times she doubts herself - wonders if he knows just how much she loves him. Yes. Loves. Ridiculously and completely.

It should seem simple. You know... one boy, one girl... do the math. But it's... not something they ever really talked about. Maybe she was overthinking it completely, worrying at all. ~~Marie stop.~~ ]

I have a dream for myself. Something I'm hoping for. And maybe it won't be for years to come but...

[ Gee wow. Marie manages to sound suspicious and embarrassed all at once. She has skills. ]

[ She sure did.

And he's not about to let it go, not when it's clearly so important to her. Somehow Allelujah almost senses her discomfort before he hears it and pulls back, concern bright in his eyes as he searches hers. Even an echo of doubt in her voice is enough to worry him in turn, make him ready to allay what fears he could.

Birds of a feather, them. ]

Marie? Whatever it is, you can tell me.

[ His hands slide down her arms so he can take her hands, giving her fingers a gentle squeeze. He's earnest, if anything--there was nothing in the world he wouldn't do for her, wouldn't give her if she asked. ]

[ It is important to her. As much as she could say it would be fine if it never happened, it would never be entirely true.

But this is Allelujah. Marie knows more than anything that if there was anyone in this world or any other that she could trust unconditionally, it's him. And yet... in this instance, it's difficult because it's him. ]

I just thought... well... someday... if I got married, well...

[ Well, at least she didn't flat out die from embarrassment but well... she didn't really do very well saying much either... ]

Edited 2012-06-16 09:01 (UTC)

[ At some point in between her not actually saying anything and her blush Allelujah finally starts to catch on. ~~SOCIAL CUES, NOT A CLASS IN SUPER SOLDIER SCHOOL.~~

And, like a champ, Allelujah feels the color shoot up to his face too. He smiles carefully, almost a little boyish. It's silly, really--she's the love of his life, and here he is feeling just as embarrassed. ]

I--I see. You don't have to say it, if you don't want to. Though I'd still like to hear about what you want, too. Without being worried.

[ When thinking about the future, he only got so far head of himself. Now he sees it's different for her. ]

[ ~~Social cues? What are those...~~ Marie can't say for certain herself even, what it was that made her consider it, only that she had and that when she thought about it... well, there was a soft warm and fuzzy feeling that came with the notion. ]

There is plenty of time yet to consider things like that.

[ She shakes her head and smiles. Maybe it was too early to be thinking about such things. Of course her first concern was not wanting to make Allelujah uncomfortable. ]

I didn't mean to bring it up so suddenly.

[ Hello social awkwardness we meet again. ]

You don't need to be concerned with it. [ Certainly it'd caught him a little bit off guard, but he could think of far worse things to be discussing. Stomach butterflies he could handle. Mostly. ]

Truthfully, I thought I'd never get the chance to have something like that. A family.

[ There's an honest softness to his eyes when he says it, something rather rare for him to feel. It was true that he had the crew of the Ptolemy, friends and comrades he considered his family. But this... ]

We were born without those things. Convinced we didn't need them... And yet it became the thing Soma Peries wanted the most too.

[ Both of them shared this desire. For Soma it had been a father - someone strong to support her, love her and accept her. For Marie it was a little different. ]

I spent so much of my life killing... and destroying things around me. And even before that... I have a lot of sins to live with, for the rest of my life. So maybe I don't deserve to say it but...

I want to change. To create something, rather than destroy. I've always believed there was more to us than just that.

There is more than that! [ Allelujah is positively alight; he can't believe for one second that she'd think she didn't deserve anything they'd come so far to achieve. ] At least, I believe there is. I wouldn't have been able to come all this way if I didn't think there was still a place for those like us in the world. Where instead of destruction, instead of being a murderer...

[ He trails off. He wants more than anything to make her dream a reality. It didn't matter if they could never fully atone for what'd they'd done as soldiers. These were their lives. ]

The moment I heard your voice, I knew right away. That you were kind, that you were here for more than fighting. You wouldn't have been able to make feel me grateful for being alive if you weren't.

[ Life suits her, he thinks. Life, chances, beginnings. ]

[ He's right. In her heart she wanted to feel like she could have this. That she could leave the past behind. It was a battle she tried to keep off her face and fight inwardly, but if there was anyone who deserved to know, it was Allelujah. ]

Allelujah...

[ Softly, her smile returned and she closed her eyes for a moment, letting his words wash over her; it calms her feelings almost instantly. ] Yes... You're right. I sound silly, worrying about that now. [ She shakes her head. ] I won't let it change my dream.

[ No matter what, she decided. She would be strong. ] Thank you... for reminding me.

[ She'd never be alone in her fears, but all of their hopes and chances... if Allelujah could, he'd ensure that those were always at the forefront, that they'd still be within reach. Even if they had to grasp them with hands that would never be clean again.

He carries conviction for this in his heart. ]

We'll find our way. I promise.

[ She wished there was more she could do for him. And at the same time she knew the things she wished she could do were impossible. But there was still so much they could do... that she could do. ]

So you really don't mind? [ Marie turns her mind to happier aspects. The future and it's possibilities are nearly limitless. And she can't help but look nearly giddy imagining it. But at the same time, her eyes show a level of seriousness. She only wanted it if he meant it - if it would make him happy. ]

I think two would be nice.

[ Even though she didn't know the first thing about being... well, a normal girl, much less a mother. But she certainly had the enthusiasm and desire to learn. ]

[ Just her smile is enough to convince him this was what was meant to be after all. But hadn't it always been that way? To see her so elated over something so simple--something they could actually do--makes his stomach feel warm and his heart light. ]

Two.

[ He repeats, softly. Fondly. ]

What do you think it'd be like?

[ It's a question she gives some serious thought. Because... she doesn't really have anything to base it on. She still felt that her view of the world was limited. And yet she wasn't afraid to keep looking - to fill in the gaps. ]

I think... it would be difficult. But not impossibly so. The kind of thing that... has it's ups and downs and still feels more rewarding than anything else in the end.

There is a warmth that family brings... a bond of love that can't be broken.

[ She speaks fondly of the idea; eyes half-lidded, as if she's already imagining it inside her head. ]

on apping again somewhere, idk maybe holly heights...

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dkflhg definitely punch me for the tl;dr i'm sorry about him

sdfkjh never apologize for being beautiful :') aka /tl;dr's right back at sob

he's just a massive goober :')

a precious goober ;u;

she's equally precious dkfhg i'm dying

asdfkjh me too

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