Canon is The Unusuals

[dyingisdifficult]

Aright, let's just get this outta' the way, huh? I don't know you, you don't know me. I'd offer to have a drink with you or somethin', but you're not even legally allowed to drink. Even I follow some rules.

Point is, you really don't know a thing about the NYPD or how we, uh... roll. So just drop the keyboard and walk away, unless you wanna' be in the same cell as some guy dressed as a luchador-turned-bulldog fighter.

...

Olé.

Comments

[thatsthejob]

Delahoy, muns just don't listen. Mine didn't when I told her she shouldn't remake me.

[dyingisdifficult]

[hey how's it going]

Most of them are just chit-chatty kids. Jesus, I'm not paid to babysit 'em while they're holed up in their rooms or at their local Starbucks. Policing and detective work is serious business here.

[thatsthejob]

They just don't understand that. Mine at least is older I guess.

[dyingisdifficult]

Not good, Walsh, not good at all. It might mean she's got the chops to keep you here even longer. She hasn't whipped out the game card on you, has she? I'm not havin' none of that, no thanks. Keep me benched.

[thatsthejob]

Yeah she's been looking actually.

[dyingisdifficult]

... Yikes. I'd give ya' a helmet and a bunker, but I'm fresh out for me.

I could send you a get well card when you're finally put somewhere, though. Y'know, preemptively.

[thatsthejob]

Thanks for the thought. She's not finding anything so far so *knocks on his desk*

[dyingisdifficult]

... Y'still got handcuffs?

[I'M JUST THROWIN IT OUT THERE MAN]

[thatsthejob]

And my gun.

[dyingisdifficult]

Maybe it's time to brush up on your Miranda Rights.

[thatsthejob]

I was thinking more shoot first, worry about rights later.

the unusuals omg *___*

[futurebatwoman]

Luchador-turned-bulldog fighter?

That sounds like some story.

and they are so unusual to see ;;

[dyingisdifficult]

It was pretty clear-cut, actually; y'see, we drove up and found him in costume using his fancy little cape on some overweight bulldog in some guy's yard. Yelled something French at us, bang, bam, on-foot chase.

I got a lot of exercise that day.

i want to collect them all to cape and cowl ;;

[futurebatwoman]

Did you find out why he was doing that? Because that's seriously weird. And I'm from Gotham I know weird.

:'| someday, there will be hoards of us, dammit all

[dyingisdifficult]

80% of the time, we never know. He's one of those cases.

I'll bet it has something to do with a lot of drugs. Maybe house cleaning supplies. That stuff does gnarly things to your brain.

yes pls

[futurebatwoman]

I hear that's how the Joker started.

[dyingisdifficult]

I'm not too savvy on my comic books, but I think you gotta' good idea of things there. He seems like the type who'd whip out the bath salts or somethin'.

[futurebatwoman]

Comic books?

[ SQUINTING ] I don't think he really whips out the bath salts so much as he turns them into weapons of mass destruction.

[raincoatruinedit]

That guy still there? I thought we had Alvarez move him to central.

Still, I hear ya. Got no complaints, but I wish my mun would stop freakin' out over playing me.

[dyingisdifficult]

Alvarez said Alvarez couldn't because Alvarez was too busy kissin' ass.

[makes a smooch noise]

Just the usual. I wouldn't be so sore about it if the guy would stop speakin' in tongues while he's booked. Last thing I need is a curse put on me by a french wrestler.

Eeeeee. More canonmates. /just hugs.

[raincoatruinedit]

Eddie Alvarez will probably soon be kissing pavement. [A sigh.]

Anyway, is Banks rubbing off on you? Not like you to be scared of curses.

:'D

[dyingisdifficult]

You try bein' around a guy who thinks that stuff 24/7, see if you don't start getting a little paranoid. One of these days I'll be a cat-guy holed up in a house on Hoarders talking about how Banks broke my spirit.

/clings to

[raincoatruinedit]

Well, we are in a recession. I bet most people think that right now.

/sits quietly with in unusuals land

[dyingisdifficult]

[ha, okay, good one.]

Seriously, and the gas around here is crazy lately. 4 bucks to a gallon? My balls, they're bustin'.

[raincoatruinedit]

Yeah, I hear ya. It's getting a bit ridiculous. And we can all blame Banks.

[dyingisdifficult]

[he can work with this idea]

Y'know, Walsh. You're a great planner. You don't get enough credit or pay.

[raincoatruinedit]

I just do the job, Delahoy. Same as you and every other detective in the 2nd.

[dyingisdifficult]

... We should all get a pay raise, then.

[man that would be great

he shrugs]

A guy can dream.

[raincoatruinedit]

Keep dreamin', buddy. Sarge is the one who signs off on the pay packets.

[dyingisdifficult]

Feels like we'll be in poor-pay hell for a while.

[Maybe if I tell Sarge I have a tumor, he'll triple my pay. But. It's unlikely. THE ONE GOOD THING THIS DAMN THING WOULD HAVE BEEN GOOD FOR.]

On the bright side, free donuts and coffee. Which might not be a bright side, depending on who's in charge of 'em that day.

[raincoatruinedit]

I try to keep Shraeger from them as much as possible.

[dyingisdifficult]

... You still haven't told her her coffee is like... the worst coffee in existence, have you?

[raincoatruinedit]

She still thinks mine is. Kinda don't want to burst her bubble.

[badjuju42]

The luchador got moved and has been replaced with a guy who thinks he's a labradoodle and is urinating on people's legs. Watch the puddles.

[dyingisdifficult]

Oh, you gotta be kidding me. What, can't we just... call the pound? We can convince 'em.

[badjuju42]

I wish. Maybe an 'accidental' neutering would fix that problem.

[dyingisdifficult]

Throw the guy who likes swords in there with him. Might be worth it.