voice testing! canon is Puzzle Agent

[likeshisoffice]

 Wait, so some kind of move just happened? And that's why I'm here... wherever this is, right now?
I'm sorry, but I'm not really sure I understand what this is about. I don't think this how the FBI normally does transfers. That, and I'm pretty sure you're not even with the FBI.

... Oh, well, good to know I'm still with the Puzzle Research Division! To be honest, I... really don't think I'd be much help in any other department. I guess I'm also kind of distracted by how the Scoggins case wrapped up. I know they marked it closed, but we don't still don't know what happened to Isaac Davner, and--

... Wait, what about Glori?! ... AND The Hidden People?!
...
You're not going to tell me what's going on, are you?
Great.

Comments

[thepoweroflove]

The FBI has a Puzzle Research Division?

[He's just imagining a bunch of people sitting around staring at various jigsaw puzzles.]

[likeshisoffice]

Wait a second...

[Nelson stares at Marty for a moment. That orange vest... Mike Lobb?!
... Oh, wait, no, it's not him. Too young. Not to mention also not frozen and dead]

... O-Oh, sorry, I... thought you were someone else for a second.

But yes, you'd be surprised at how many... specific kinds of departments the Bureau funds. We don't tend to get all that many exciting cases though, as you might've guessed. And until recently it'd be years since I'd been in the field.

[thepoweroflove]

[Geez, it's like he can't go anywhere with his vest without people thinking he's either a sailor or a dead guy.]

Really? Why would they need that many departments?

[likeshisoffice]

Well, with that recent big case we had, whenever the Bureau made an inquiry into the situation, the only thing we ever got back were bizarre puzzles.
When I actually got there, that was the only thing everyone's heads seemed to be filled with. ... That, and maybe some freakish cults and conspiracies.

[thepoweroflove]

Jesus Christ, were they psychopaths or something?

[likeshisoffice]

Well, not to be alarmist, but considering one of them did try to drown me under a frozen lake with a chainsaw... yes, quite possibly.
But something tells me it isn't completely their fault. I think many of the people in Scoggins are under some kind of... influence.

[thepoweroflove]

So they were on drugs?

[likeshisoffice]

Oh no, nothing like that! Actually I suspect something more, uh... supernatural, in nature.
...
They worship madness-inducing gnomes.

[thepoweroflove]

... So they were on drugs?

[Cause he seriously can't think of any other reason why anyone would worship something like that.]

[likeshisoffice]

NO! I'm positive they aren't--
... Okay, maybe I'm not POSITIVE, but the gnomes are definitely real. I know it sounds crazy, but I saw them turn a man insane and drag away another man screaming!

[wit_is_mightier]

"Puzzle Research Division"?

IT'S LIKE A TELLTALE PARTY UP IN HERE

[likeshisoffice]

Uh, yes. A very... very small department of the FBI. We solve crimes, issues, and problems relating to puzzles.

Um, not to seem rude, but why exactly are you dressed like a pirate?

THEY MAKE GOOD GAMES, MAN

[wit_is_mightier]

Puzzle-related crimes? How often does that happen?

That's because I am a pirate! I'm Guybrush Threepwood, Mighty Pirate™.

SUCH GOOD GAMES, THE BEST GAMES

[likeshisoffice]

Well, as far as major ones, not that often. Normally it's pretty quiet. Though I actually got to be in the field recently, first time in years.

I... wasn't aware pirates still existed. At least not... that kind.
Uh, nice to meet you, Mr. Threepwood. I'm Special Agent Nelson Tethers.

Stupid HTML...

[thepoweroflove]

[Marty is still not sure that they weren't just weird drug addicts, but he can't say that he hasn't done anything that if he told anyone about it, they'd assume that he was on drugs, so he lets it slide.]

Well if you saw them...

So your mun is planning on sending you to that City too?

[wit_is_mightier]

Was it a crossword thief?

Yeah, we're all over the Caribbean! No offense, but you don't really look like a swashbuckling man of the sea.. I'm guessing you just don't run into us often.
Nice to meet you, Agent Tethers! [He gives a small salute with his hook hand.]

It happens! Too bad DW doesn't have free editing

[likeshisoffice]

City?

Wait, she mentioned something about Glori Davner going to a City and seeing The Hidden People there! I might be going there too? What is it?

Could be worse, at least!

[thepoweroflove]

Yeah, I think it's called "Ink City". All I know about it is that I'll have to sleep in... my friend's car while I'm there.

[likeshisoffice]

No, something more... dangerous, unfortunately.

Oh, no, I've never been to the Caribbean. I don't get a lot of vacation time.
The pleasure is likewise, I'm sure. Is modern pirating actually that stable a career?

[likeshisoffice]

"Ink" City... that's interesting. Where's it located?

Jeez. Sorry about that. There's not even any hotels you could stay at?

[thepoweroflove]

Not on Earth, unfortunately.

And not that I know of, my friend's car is kinda special to him anyway; I don't want anyone to steal it.

[Or abuse its powers.]

[wit_is_mightier]

Dangerous? Like what?

I wouldn't call it stable.. but you get the hang of it after a while.

[pinkjuggernaut]

Uh, weren't you, like, in my mun's headspace a while ago?

[likeshisoffice]

I'm... not sure. Possibly. I'm still figuring out how all this works.
I vaguely remember being somewhere with a superhero woman, a talking rabbit with really sharp teeth, and this angry little man that wore a shirt with a star on it. It wasn't for very long though, so I thought it might've been a dream, even though there weren't any astronauts.
But considering what's happening now, I'm definitely starting to think all of this is just a little TOO real.

[feathertyrant]

Puzzle Research...interesting. I should open a similar division when I manage to find extra servicemen.