dear_mun | Homeless, but maybe looking.

[...oh, Iris. He'll give a sympathetic smile.]

I too fail to see what is so humorous about that username.

[She blinks with surprise, tilting her head and squinting her eyes. He looks familiar, and yet...]

...

[Wait for it...]

.................

[...Hey! She recognizes you! She thinks.]

X...? Is that you...?

[Of course, X has plenty of patience. He'll wait while Iris's gears are rolling. When she finally does speak, X clasps his hands together, followed by the tiniest of laughs.]

It is very nice to see you, Iris. How are you doing?

[Naturally he avoids giving straight answers. X y u do]

[It's hard not to be a little confused by his appearance. Last she saw him he was head-to-toe in armor, after all.

Still, she smiles. Regardless of how different he looks, that's X, all right.]

I am well, thank you, all things considered. And you? You look...different.

[He gives a small nod in response to her words. It was nice seeing a familiar face from the past, no matter how distant.]

I am doing fine, thank you. Yes, I do, don't I?

[There's the faintest hint of a smile on him as he doesn't give a reason to his change in appearance. It wasn't like Iris was questioning him, technically. X stop that.]

How has your mun been treating you, Iris? Aside from that username, I hope they are being nice to you.

[Iris gives him a different smile of her own. Is there something behind that innocent glow? Maybe.]

I didn't think you had a taste for the monastic, X.

[Though her expression brightens considerably.]

She has been treating me quite well. The username is a bit...[She pauses and scrunches her face, as though there was a bad taste in her mouth.] ...unpleasant...[Then her expression changes back as though nothing happened. She's pretty good at that.] but she has been trying to find a nice 'game' to place me in.

[X does notice the subtle changes within Iris' expression. After how long he's lived, well...there has been many things he has seen. However, his smile never wavers and he choose not to comment. Iris was, well, Iris.]

Fufu...it is a nice change to my usual attire.

[He gave a lighthearted response.]

I must admit myself, the username is in poor taste. Yet, it seems common for muns to have a strange sense of humor.

[At the mention of a game there's a slight pause from X. The ones he's aware of all seemed like a dangerous place to be.]

What sort of game did she have in mind?

[She lets out a thoughtful hum.]

Yes, it does look quite good on you.

[She ponders for a moment, going over all the different qualifications in her mind.]

Somewhere that is safe, and I will not get hurt, she says. Though she has sent her other...'muses' to dangerous places before.

Why, thank you Iris.

[Again he waits for her response, before speaking himself.]

That is good to hear. ...although it is unfortunate to hear that others have been placed into dangerous locations.

[Her eyes lower, sadly.]

...Yes. My mun has already placed one of us in a quite a precarious situation as it is.

Though I'm sure he'll be all right, regardless.

That is good to hear, despite his situation. ...and Iris, I hope your mun does place you in an ideal game.

[She smiles brightly.]

...I do, too. And I hope your mun finds someplace for you, if they are looking.

Thank you. My mun appreciates the gesture.

......

[Zero was about to comment on the username too, but...now he's just going to stare quietly, with a mixture of confusion and hesitation and I feel like I should know you going on all at once.

...Sorry Iris, but he hasn't quite remembered you yet.]

[.....!!!]

Zero...?!

... Yes.

[Still staring, but now he's starting to feel kind of awkward, mostly because he's not sure what to say. ...Well, no. That's not entirely true. There're a lot of things he wants to say, but...

Um.]

You...

[She looks awkward...careful. Well, last time she saw him, she DID try to kill him. That is sort of an awkward deal.

She tries to smile, but it feels forced.]

You look w-well.

..... [Cough. Yes, um. Indeed, he...he probably does. Heh-heh...

...Boy, this conversation sure is off to a great start. At least Iris can smile - Zero just continues to look as uncomfortable as ever. How does he ask this...? Should he come out and admit that he doesn't know her, or...?

He'll just stand here quietly (and awkwardly) as he fights to make up his mind already.]

[How to go about this...

Her voice is timid, almost as though she's tiptoeing around the issue.]

I...

[Maybe he's awkward, too. He looks so different now -- much unlike how he did back then. And that stare...]

...Is there something on my face...?

...No. I... [He breaks eye contact for just a moment to think, looking even more uncomfortable than before (if that's even possible). When he looks back at Iris again, there's obviously still some hesitation, but...

Oh, Zero. Just ask it already.]

...Who...are you?

[She's smiling, but there's obvious there's some deep sadness in it.

...He doesn't remember. Maybe...maybe it was for the best. That he didn't know that he...]

I'm Iris. I...

[...loved you. Didn't want to try to kill you. Died in your arms.]

...we...were friends. Close friends.

[Zero can tell that his question wasn't...well received. But at least now he has his answer.

Iris. That name...it sparks something familiar in his mind, but he can't quite figure out what or why just yet. It's a strong feeling, though...if only he could remember...]

...Oh. [And once again he's left feeling awkward and speechless. Except, well. Guess there is one other thing he could ask that...might also be poorly received, unfortunately.]

When...?

[Iris chastised herself before she felt that familiar burst of despair. She was the one who had told him they were close; of course he would want to know the simple aspects of the 'what', the 'where', and the 'when'.

Though she had to wonder just how he lost his memory. What had happened that had caused such a drastic deletion of memory data...?]

Many years ago. You were a Maverick Hunter, then, and I was a Navigator in Training. We worked together on some missions, and then...

[Even if she didn't have a heart, she could feel something inside her clench.]

...We...

[Her hands clasped together, as though that act alone would force back the words she wanted to say. To sort out all the conflicting feelings that were inside her that she couldn't quite organize neatly or understand.

"Fell in love," she wanted to say. "Or at least, I think we did. I was never sure with you..."

Even though those words didn't come out, her cheeks were still undeniably pink.]

...grew close through that.

.... [...What Iris says helps put the pieces of the memory puzzle together, even if it doesn't complete the picture. Yes, Zero vaguely remembers his time as a Maverick Hunter. He remembers working with a few Navigators...and he can somewhat imagine Iris being one of those Navigators now. But...being close to her? Shouldn't he have remembered her by now if that was true?

He blinks slowly; there's a hint of frustration showing through his expression. He's trying so hard to think but can only come up with vague images and an unsettling feeling. Almost like part of him doesn't...really want to remember her. But that's silly. Why would that be?

Weird feeling or not, Zero still isn't sure exactly what to say about all of this. So the awkwardness on his end continues, unfortunately.]

Did we... [He looks at Iris a little questioningly now, silently asking for more details.]

...We often spent time together, that's all.

[It was hurried, almost too hurried, though for the life of her Iris didn't care if she was hiding something. She didn't want to talk about it, didn't want to bring up the memories that were still eating a hole in her heart after all this time.

She had fought him.

She had died, in his arms, no less.

She could only imagine how Zero had taken it, prior to his memory loss. He cared deeply for all of his friends; if he had lost the memory of her death, then it was possibly for the best that she made sure he retained that loss of memory.

She didn't want him to remember if it meant hurting him.]

After some rather unfortunate events, we were forced to part ways.

[Her expression is obviously pained, as though the memory itself stabbed her.]

But...I never stopped thinking of you, nor did I ever hate or resent you for what happened.

[... Well. This would most likely explain that unsettling feeling Zero's having right now. 'Unfortunate events'...what does she mean by that? It's obviously something that greatly upsets her, judging from her expression. Perhaps said events (whatever they are) were bad enough that he once resolved to not think of them ever again? Perhaps this feeling is a self defense mechanism at work...

But Iris doesn't seem like a bad person at all, so he's going to assume that she didn't betray him, or something else along those lines. In fact - along with that instinct to avoid all of this trouble and walk away - Zero feels...something he can only describe as longing. Because they were once close? He can't say for certain yet.

Ugh. If only he could make sense of this all...if only he could just remember!]

... What happened, exactly? Why did we part ways?

[Yes, Zero can tell this is really bothering Iris, but he feels like he has to know. The vague details he's been given so far aren't jogging his memory much.]

[There it was. The last straw, the one thing she didn't want to talk about, tossed at her so hard it might as well have been a knife cutting into her midsection, ripping her innards apart.

Why couldn't he be happy with the small details?! Why couldn't he just be happy with just knowing?!

Zero would always be Zero, and regardless of how different he looked, he was still himself.]

We...

[Iris clenched her hands together.]

It was a war. A m-misunderstanding. My brother fought on one side, you on the other.

[Most Reploids couldn't physically cry, but Iris wanted to.]

A...misunderstanding?

[This sounds familiar. Very familiar. Fuzzy thoughts about such a conflict come to mind as Iris speaks about it... Something about a mistaken war, and a brother...

...For a moment, Zero visualizes a taller Reploid standing with Iris from a time long past, although he can't say for certain who the taller Reploid is or when he saw them like that. But despite how vague the memory is, this is good. This is progress.]

... There was something like that, wasn't there...

[Zero wants to keep asking questions, but he finds himself hesitating again. Not because of that still-lingering unsettling feeling, but...Iris just seems so pained by this now. Obviously, whatever this is must be really hard for her to discuss. He almost feels guilty, in a way, for prodding her about it.

But it's nothing that he'll show outwardly, and of course, curiosity and the burning need to know are overpowering any guilt he might feel right now. So he'll continue to stare questioningly, uncertain.]

You...

[...No. He might not have remembered anything. And even then, why did she even think of wanting him to remember? It was an ache, a cruel, insatiable ache in her core; she wanted him to remember her, perhaps even ruffle her hair or smile at her like he used to, and yet...

If he remembered her, that would mean he'd remember all of those other painful times, too.

Her voice was soft, careful:]

Do you remember anything?

[She shuffled her foot under her, green eyes glancing down.]

... [Zero continues to stare at Iris despite the lack of eye contact and keeps trying to think. Yes...he knows well enough from previous experiences in this place how it tends to mess with people. How it can bring in almost anyone from anywhere, even multiple selves. That doesn't change the fact that he cannot easily remember some of the people he might encounter from his past, however...and that makes it difficult.

Such as it is now.

He's fairly sure this is more difficult for Iris than him, though, judging from her reactions. But only fairly sure. How can he truly understand without actually knowing what his relationship with her was like in the first place?]

Some things. The further back it is, the harder it is to remember.

[He pauses a moment, still thinking.]

It's been...years.

[It hurt. It hurt seeing him like that, and it hurt to think that she wanted him to remember somehow.

She did, didn't she? She wanted him to remember, and yet she didn't. She just...

His last words were almost like the tidal wave shattering the sides of a dam, allowing the water to rush through and drown everyone unfortunate enough to be on the other side. She knew he didn't mean it in the way that she wanted him to mean it, but it was so long and she just didn't care anymore...]

Zero...

[With no other provocation Iris launched herself towards him in the attempt to give him the first hug she'd received from him in what felt like a millennium. Even if he didn't remember, even if he would never see her the same way, damn it she remembered and she wanted to at least pretend it was like the old days for just a moment...]

[The hug comes as unexpected, and Zero doesn't try to push Iris away nor does he attempt to return the hug. He stands perfectly sill, slowly blinking, a little shocked.

For the hug also comes with a sudden flood of memory.

Admittedly, most of what he's remembering are feelings - nervous, somewhat excited feelings. A bit of shyness, a bit of longing, a bit of happiness, a bit of a lot of other things...all mixed together to make something he can't describe. He probably had a definition for it long ago, but now it's undefinable, foreign and new. And the clearest image that comes to his mind now to go with these feelings is that of something just like this. On some day, long ago, their arms around each other...

...

It's all so strong in his mind right now that he's left with nothing but inaction. There's a big part of him that wants to return Iris's gesture, but somehow, he just. He just can't. Not yet.

He finally has something - a memory - something somewhat strong to hold on to. Something that truly connects him with this otherwise random stranger before him. If nothing else, let him have this moment for a short while...]

Edited 2012-06-04 14:55 (UTC)

[...he wasn't responding.

Well, of course he wasn't. Stupid, stupid Iris. What, did you think it would be suddenly okay? That he would suddenly remember you and hold you once more just because you happened to jump in his arms without thinking?

Really, the narcissism was astounding.

Slowly -- far too slowly -- Iris let go of him and stepped away, the sadness in her eyes almost palpable, her cheeks a deep crimson.

Though she did try to put up a strong face, the poor thing.]

I-I...s-sorry. I just...

I shouldn't have done that without your permission, I...

[Iris moves away from him before he can act, causing those strange, almost happy feelings to fade all too quickly; that strong hesitation from before - dare he call it fear? - overtakes him once again. Damnit. He really should have acted, but he didn't. Now he's left with an awkward, unwanted situation, unsure of what he should say or do.

Should he be apologizing? Should he act upon his earlier impulse? Perhaps he should. Right now. Do something.]

... ... ...

[...or he can do nothing except be awkwardly silent and stare harshly at Iris. That works too.

Or doesn't. Even he with all his denseness can see things are quickly going south for the both of them, and he can't just stand here doing nothing forever if he wants to ease Iris' pain. But what can he do? One strong memory is good, but it's not enough to ease this awkward hesitation he feels for this person standing in front of him... And it's not like he's ever been in a situation quite like this before...]

I'm sorry.

[What was she doing. He was staring at her, she made this awkward, this was all her fault, what was she doing--]

I'm so sorry, Zero.

P-Please, forget what I just did.

[She had only hoped to revive old memories, but with that look, and this awkwardness hanging between them, it didn't look like that was possible.

Why didn't she have those tear ducts that Reploids like X had? At least crying would have been a psychosomatic release, rather than having to keep the feelings bottled up inside...]

[Damnit. Damnit. Why is it so hard to do anything but stand here like a speechless idiot in front of this girl? Why does he have to feel so strange and confused? None of this is making any sense, and it's frustrating as hell. There's obviously something Zero should be doing or saying, but he'll be damned if he knows what that is right now.

All he knows (or feels like he knows, beyond this sudden pressing desire to back out of this right now) is that Iris apologizing just...feels wrong somehow. Maybe he should say something about it? Maybe he should be apologizing?

Zero frowns, nervously breaks eye contact for just a moment, then attempts to speak:]

... I... ...

[...No, why is he hesitating again? He can't. C'mon! He's got to act. He has to say something. He can't just leave things like this. Speak!]

W-wait.

[Iris was already prepared to throw out a barrage of apologies before running. She couldn't see this. Her heart couldn't take this.

Why did she have to do this to Zero? She should leave. Even if it was cruel to turn away and leave him with more questions, it was better than wishing he'd know, wishing that he'd just remember everything and act like everything would be all right.

Of course it wouldn't. It wouldn--

At his words, her train of thought screeched to a halt, and she stared up at him, eyes wide.]

Z-Zero...?

... ... ...

[......Urk. Zero had blurted out wait hoping that it would give him a few extra moments to think of something else to say, but...but his mind is drawing so many blanks right now. His awkward levels might as well be shooting through the freaking roof. This is not how he wanted this to go at all.

He shifts his weight uncomfortably and breaks eye contact again, nervously clenching his fists. Speaking his mind has never been so difficult in these few years of being reactivated. What makes this girl so unique that she can leave him in such emotional distress like this? His relationship with her must have been something very powerful...that's all he can sense.

...That's it. He just... He just needs to speak. Whatever comes out of his mouth, he'll try to roll with it. But silence isn't helping either of them right now.]

.... Please...don't apologize.

[Any thought of running had left her, but the heartache was still there. Why was he telling her not to apologize? She was the one who was confusing him, saying all these things to him and being inconsiderate to the thought that maybe he was better off not knowing who she was!

But her eyes still stay on him. Her mind is whirling, her feelings are overflowing and wanting to come out in a torrent of words, apologies, and other things that almost make her want to crash...

She stands, waiting for him to speak.]

[...Had he said the wrong thing? Now she's the one being silent and staring. It's only making Zero feel even more unsure of himself and what he should be doing...

Should he still be trying so hard to remember her? Or is his hesitation correct, and it's probably better off if he didn't? He still isn't sure what any of this means, but...but it would be stupid to try so hard, to cause this girl to have such despair, and then just give up early. He needs to take this all the way...to not leave her like this, if nothing else.

Zero looks at Iris again, still unintentionally staring hard, and somehow finds his voice once more.]

... Whatever happened... I'm sure it's not your fault.

[Whatever happened, indeed... Maybe acting like he had some clue would be his best bet now. Inaction didn't get either of them anywhere, and neither would being blunt...so perhaps Iris will open up more, reveal more of the truth, with this approach.

Zero can only hope he's not continuing to make this worse.]

[He isn't surprised one of her showed up eventually. He was fine with her not showing up at all, for obvious reasons. It took him a lot to work up the nerve to even come and say hello. Even after so many years, and after him finally opening up to his own navigator, the pain from that entire war was still fresh.]

[Zero is also hugely pissed off at Iris' mun for making a handle for her like that. His own he could take and eventually laugh off. That name was too cruel for both of them.]

....Hey.

[Awkward. It was always so awkward and hard to take...

She faked a smile the best she could, giving him a wave.]

H-Hello.

[Zero can see the strain in that smile. He doesn't blame her. If he were any younger he wouldn't even find any words to say, at the time still too consumed by the guilt. He didn't want that war to happen, and just because of some pride everything went to hell in a handbasket.

Her memories of everything were probably even more vivid, and in his mind she deserved better. So, after a quiet moment Zero approaches Iris and gently lays a hand on her head and gives it a small ruffle.]

So, get into any trouble yet?

Homeless, but maybe looking.

that username is beautiful

Isn't it? I guess making an RP account when you're half asleep has its advantages.

Of course there is! There are so many awesome ideas activated then.

The only better time is when you're hyped up on caffeine.

mmm, delicious caffeine.

As a student, it's practically what keeps me going in life @_@

I can relate to that. Although sadly it does not help but I can't live without my tea!

Ahhh, tea. That actually reminds me, I need to get some more tea sometime. I'm mostly out.

if I could I would give you some of mine 8(

<33333 It's okay, really <3

<333

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..... Iris ;A;

<3! Always wished the character got more love in canon. 1/2

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Me too! <3 Poor Iris...

At least she had an appearance in Xtreme 2?

At least! I'm glad she did. :D I wish there was at least /some/ reference to her in MMZ, though...

Yeeeeah. It would have been nice to see some reference to a lot of the MMX cast, actually...

It really would have, sob...! All we can assume is that the Elf Wars killed them off. 8(

It would have been nice for some closure, though! 1/?

2/4

3/4

4/4!

Indeed...also, poor Iris. ;_;

*Pats her* Yeah -- I can't imagine Iris taking Zero suddenly forgetting her very well.

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Pats her Yeah -- I can't imagine Iris taking Zero suddenly forgetting her very well.