(no subject)

[tactical_alert]

I do realize this was generally the basic idea even before real life got in the way...but I still protest against the idea of 'breaking'. If I've come out of everything else that's happened in that city already with a few mental scars and a distinct need for some psychiatric help (which, I shudder to point out again, I no longer have), then surely the latest development shouldn't damn well near put me in the looney bin. You don't even know how to introduce it, do you? Perhaps I should just speak with Ianto and get to know the Hellsing lot...

And now that you're planning on being active again, you should actually do something in the other city (and cave system, and post-apocalyptic landscape) you've thrown me into. I did want to find that flat, glance about where I could, and take the tube back as soon as I could. And...I should get to know more people. Somehow. You do seem to always find a way.

Comments

[deletion_comp]

You are Malcolm Reed of the Star Trek universe.

Some Muns express affection for their favorite characters through torture. It is illogical.

[counselling]

Is there anythig that you can do to change what may happen, perhaps a compromise? It isn't always pleasant but it may lessen what it is you have to endure.

[tactical_alert]

Unless there's something else she has planned that she hasn't informed anyone of, I believe everything that might happen has already. I've simply to deal with the psychological consequences thereof.

[counselling]

Then I hope that you have someone who can help you through it.

[tactical_alert]

Well. I doubt someone qualified. I've at least seen fit enough to stay somewhere with other people around. Being self-aware of my instabilities does, I suppose, help.

[counselling]

Even a friend can help, if in different ways from professional help.

It does, and you may be able to influence her during the process.

[tactical_alert]

It's difficult to say the things that need admitted. Perhaps I'm just...waiting for an opportune moment.

[counselling]

Then perhaps you should start with something small, something a little easier and build up to what you need to say?

[tactical_alert]

Yes, that might be easier. I just need the right person and the right moment. And assurance that I won't be immediately hospitalized, I suppose.

[counselling]

With the right person it is likely that wouldn't happen.

[bornsnarky]

You need psychiatric help?

You're a starship captain, right?

[tactical_alert]

Me, a captain? Surely not. Why, do you deal with captains in need of a bit of assistance in that area of mental health?

[bornsnarky]

[wry]

Just once in a while.

So. You sound like you could use someone to talk to, son.

[tactical_alert]

You know, a year or so ago I would've been against the idea of seeking that kind of professional help.

[bornsnarky]

[snorts, not meanly]

You finally realised you're not invulnerable, huh? Everyone needs help sometimes.

[tactical_alert]

Even starship captains, yes, I'm well aware of that. We certainly could use a shipboard counselor--well, back home, that is. The only ships where I am are the ones out in the harbour now. Don't mistake me, our doctor is a wonderful person to speak to, as well as a few other members of the crew, but, well, we are lacking in a proper therapy department.

[bornsnarky]

We don't have that on the Enterprise, either. It'd be a good addition. But my staff and I are trained in numerous things to help people, including psychology, and bartending.

[quiet, looking at you with concern] It sounds like you're going through some pretty rough stuff right now.

[tactical_alert]

[snerk] Bartending? Since when are they teaching that? The next time I'm in town, I ought to try my hand. [Avoiding the topic of himself? Pff, that's crazytalk.] I should think a bit of bartending might be good for me lately, but only if I'm the one drinking.

[bornsnarky]

[grins] It's more of an unofficial course, taught by yours truly. And yeah, that's pretty much the point. Certain starship captains don't like to talk in a doctor's office unless they're holding a glass of something that'll knock their socks off.

[tactical_alert]

I've known my captain to take a stiff drink now and then, when things are rough. Socially, off-duty, of course. So I suppose I do understand that idea. It is, as I've come to understand it, a very lonely position.

I need to get around to uploading more icons at some point XD

[bornsnarky]

Yeah, I'd prefer a jalapeno enema, myself. But no job on a starship's easy.

What do you do, son?

[tactical_alert]

That depends. What do I do on my ship, or what do I do in either of these damnable cities? They've all a similar 'protect and serve' sort of ring to them, though.

[bornsnarky]

Security. Gotcha.

Why aren't you with your ship?

[tactical_alert]

Well, in the one case, I was out on an away mission when, out of the blue, I ended up in a city of sin. Sadly, I don't mean Las Vegas. Or anywhere on Risa. It's decidedly picky about who gets to leave.

In the other case, I came out of cryostasis being told that the entirety of my life was one long dream. Wonderful places, both of them.

[bornsnarky]

That sounds confusing as hell. So what do you do in those 'damnable cities'?



[casual, but making it clear that you have my full attention]

[tactical_alert]

Have a terrible time of things. Apparently. I was head of security at a research facility in Bete Noire. Until the building was flattened during a monstrous rampage. Literally. Certainly the building can be replaced, but the doctors who ran it are gone.

In Diamond City, I'm supposed to have been a police officer, using archaic projectile handguns and the like. There weren't terribly many of us that traveled to the city, though, so there isn't anyone to police. Not that I'm planning on doing that anyway.

[bornsnarky]

The doctors are all dead? Good God, man, that must've been horrible.

Projectiles... I'm not fond of the damage those can do to a body.

[frowning] And you've been through all this with no psychiatric support? What about physical, is there someone around who can at least provide first aid?

[tactical_alert]

Well, the two in charge. My bosses, co-workers, and friends. There are, of course, other dead researchers, but the aftermath could have been...worse. We could still attempt to run, but honestly, I'm not sure who the executive decision would even fall to. Perhaps Dr. Ostermeyer...

I did have a therapist, after a certain incident involving torture. When she left, someone else took her place. And he, too, seems to have disappeared from the city. I'm sure I could find someone else somewhere to... But they'd have to be an NPC at this point. As for the physical, we've a hospital, and a community centre I volunteer at that helped many people through the aftermath. The animal shelter had resources of their own. There are places to go, people to see, in case of injury. My hands have healed well enough after digging through rubble for a few days, for example.

[bornsnarky]

"It could've been worse" is not exactly a glowing testimonial to how well you're coping.

[frowning harder]

What's your name, son? I'm Doctor McCoy, but you can call me Leonard.

[tactical_alert]

It could have been worse. Everyone could have been there when it happened; everyone could have died. Neither scenario happened.

Reed, sir. Malcolm Reed. Er, a little fiddling with the timeline could put me at either a lieutenant or a lieutenant commander, depending on the city. The former for Bete Noire, the latter for Diamond City. A bit confusing, my apologies.

[bornsnarky]

Sure, but things can always be worse. It's okay to grieve. It's okay to lick your wounds for a while. I'm not sure you've done that.

[willing to accept correction on that, I've only just met you after all]

Good to meet you, Malcolm. And you don't need to call me sir. I'd shake your hand except I'm not sure your hands are really in a state for handshaking.

[tactical_alert]

I've lost people before, Doctor. Although I certainly find myself upset at having lost friends.

[bornsnarky]

Good. Well, not good, but you know what I mean.

Sounds like it's all been pretty goddamn stressful.

[tactical_alert]

Well, losing my place of work, friends, employers, coworkers, and my best friend from my very own ship has certainly put a good deal of stress on me, I admit. That added to a recent breakup, which has been difficult on all sides, and all previous trauma--there's a list, to be sure--and my current lack of proper therapy...it's difficult in the city of sin. To say the least.

[bornsnarky]

You said a mouthful.

If you were on my ship, I'd schedule an appointment with me right now. But in this place, I -- I don't think I can do that. I don't think I can haul you into my office.

[tactical_alert]

And it's probably best that way. It does get a touch tiring, explaining my traumatic experiences to more or less strangers, even if they're only there to help.