spoilers for reichenbach ; voicetesting

[inspectoring]

[Lestrade is unusually somber, but trying not to show it. Judge him all you like.]

It's hard to believe that there isn't some amount of chance when you've seen him take nothing but a footprint and save two kids' lives. Surely he can cheat his way out of a damn --

[Pause.]

-- I'll personally invite Anderson and Donovan to the 'I told you so' party when it's unveiled that these ridiculous gossip rags are wrong. Along with serving them their transfer papers.

[And then a slight clearing of his throat.]

I only work with the best.

Comments

[inspectoring]

You wouldn't want to know what I actually think in retrospect, Mister Holmes, because I'm certain I would have to leave the country.

[Flatly.]

We've lost the only man who can keep this city safe from people like him and the only people in the world who know it are the ones who helped caused it.

There's a special spot reserved in Hell for men like that.

[bigbrotheriswatching]

Speak candidly, Detective, there will be no retaliation. Not from me.

[He couldn't agree more. He'll listen to every word.]

[inspectoring]

[A moment or two of silence.]

I'd bet my entire life's savings on Sherlock Holmes rising back from the dead before I'd wager a single penny on the suits responsible for believing this utter crock of shit that he's a fraud, for managing half of what he did. You and the rest of Parliament can, quite kindly, kiss my hardworking ass before you lay a single finger on my department or anyone else that I work with, because I think I've earned the right to ship them straight to filing away divorce notices for the rest of their lives.

[Pause.]

Sir.

[bigbrotheriswatching]

Very well, detective inspector. I shall leave the remonstrations to your capable hand.

[As much as he wants to flay them alive. Still, there are other ways.]

[inspectoring]

Excellent.

It's a happy Christmas.

[Somewhat bitterly. Firing and humiliating the idiots responsible will make him feel slightly better, but it honestly, sincerely bothers him that Sherlock Holmes is the victim in all of this. The idiot never deserved it.]

[bigbrotheriswatching]

You don't sound pleased.

Perhaps you had his interests more at heart than I realized?

[inspectoring]

Not all of us have some twisted motivation behind what we do, Mister Holmes.

[Lestrade is, shockingly, A Good Person.

God, he hates intellectuals.]

[bigbrotheriswatching]

There's nothing twisted about wanting workplace success.

Less cynically, there's not anything particularly twisted about wanting to stop criminals.

[inspectoring]

Stop criminals at the cost of what?

[Achieving justice is always the goal -- and Lestrade takes his job seriously. That's why he goes to Sherlock, that's why he trusts him with confidential information. Because that's what will get true justice.

But Holmes dying, and dropping to his death, and leaving Watson and poor Mrs Hudson lost in the Mayhem, and Moriarty's fucking corpse on the roof --

That's not justice.]

[bigbrotheriswatching]

Yes, I can see that now.

Thank you, Inspector.

[inspectoring]

And, as I said, it's a happy Christmas.

You're welcome, sir.

[bigbrotheriswatching]

Please let me know if there is anything you require.

[inspectoring]

James Moriarty's head on a stake would be a lovely start.

[But that won't do. He's already dead.]

[bigbrotheriswatching]

I'm afraid that's impossible, but if you're discreet I can get you the ashes.

[He's dead serious.]

Or perhaps the bullet?

[inspectoring]

[ s t a r e ]

... christ, that's scary.

[Almost astonished.]

[bigbrotheriswatching]

...did you think he was adopted?

[Is that a smile?]

[inspectoring]

I thought he was a different species for the first solid two years I knew him, what do you think?

[bigbrotheriswatching]

You should have met our parents.

[inspectoring]

I'll send your mum a fruit basket.

[bigbrotheriswatching]

I shouldn't bother. You will only open yourself to further scrutiny.

[inspectoring]

I think I've ruined any hope I ever had of a private life after my little secret to success got blown wide open, but thanks for the concern.

[bigbrotheriswatching]

That inquiry has been quashed.

Knowing what I do now, I'd have asked your permission first, but it's already done.

[inspectoring]

[ ... ]

Thanks.

I guess.

[bigbrotheriswatching]

The least I could do.