Beginning to get more free time, and mun is eyeing an old game...

[godandhermother]

[Once again, there's a woman with no pupil or iris, and she's glowing hard enough so that it hurts to look at her. It's hard to make out distinct features because of the light, but her mouth doesn't move as she speaks.]

Don't.

Too much time has passed in Silent Hill, and I grew tired of feeling. I have a job to do, and it can't be done from the facility. Let them forget Alessa in peace.

Comments

[godandhermother]

[To be honest, after a year of lying in Silent Hill again, she's forgotten what it feels like to sense any kind of positive emotion off of adults. The bittersweet love radiating off of him is just confusing, and it enrages her further.]

Gods don't use therapists, Mr. Nein.

Leave. The nature of this place protects you, but in the facility, I might not be so passive.

[truepsychictale]

I am not being a therapist right now.

And if you want to strike out, do it. [He walked through Silent Hill for you once before, and he would do it a thousand times over happily for you.]

Strike out here and now, judge me, I don't care. Because nothing will change on my side.

[godandhermother]

Then you're being what? A father? I never knew my father. He was a demon or a member of the Order; he wasn't you or Riggs.

[Oh, she remembers that. That way you would just stubbornly tell her over and over that you would do anything for her until she believed it. You're trying to trap her again, you bastard.

She starts getting bigger, the glow more intense, and... oh boy, those are pointy teeth.] I set my own mother on fire. What makes you think I won't do the same to you?

[truepsychictale]

[Sasha knows that is looks frightening, but his expression stays even.]

I am being myself, and if you want to do it- if it would make you feel any better. I got a lighter and some matches, take your pick. Or use both. Or neither.

As I said, nothing on my side will change.

[godandhermother]

Shut up!

[It's not setting him on fire, but a sledge hammer's worth of psychic energy swings at Sasha. She's angry. So angry. She just wants him to stop talking and go away.]

[truepsychictale]

{it hurts. Painfully, deeply, hellishly. But, he has to think- what hurt more?

This, or those months without her? This momentary pain, or those days when he just didn't want to leave bed because too much reminded him of her?]

You'll have to do more than that. Only way I'll go is if I am dead. And if death works here they way it does at the Facility, then that won't even work.

[godandhermother]

I have broken stronger men than you!

[Realistically, she could just make his heart explode or force-choke him or something, but she's too angry to make it clean. She points at him, lightning shooting from her fingertips, trying to hurt him. She has no intention of killing him--yet.]

Silent Hill won't kill you. Silent Hill will destroy you. How much guilt to you have, Nein? What should you be punished for?

[truepsychictale]

[And he lets it hit, he isn't even trying to deflect it.]

Let it destroy me, I have a lot of guilt.

Guilt that I grew complacent in the facility, guilt over giving up at times, guilt that I couldn't catch the signs of clone sickness in you sooner.

[godandhermother]

What about guilt about convincing me to believe in an impossible dream? What about guilt for leaving me to rot in that hospital room?!

[The walls of the room start pulsing, getting red and meaty, and the floor starts curling back, transforming into hot metal grate.]

You have more guilt than that. More than even you know. You know what I think?

[She growls, her form becoming more and more monstrous.]

I think you want me to kill you. Not just to prove to me that you'll let me--you want to be punished for all the things you did wrong, and all the people you failed.

[truepsychictale]

[For a small moment, Sasha freezes, then suddenly a bit of static over comes anything telepathic one might pick up from him. Asura and the black blood. He is at a point where he needs it.]

Guilt? Guilt? You want to play God, let me tell you something. I feel no guilt with you. Why?

One, you claim so much more time than what passed at the facility. I have no control over your world. [A razorblade smile.] Thats all you. [His voice drops a little, the smile still on his face.] Want to know a secret?

Secondly, in the facility you're naught more than a clone with memories implanted. All you are is just that- a clone of the real Alessa with her memories and anger put in. Too bad I will always love you and there is nothing you can do about it.

Thirdly, you claim godhood, yet you gave no signs of your life after we thought you were dead. Yet you expect me, a mere mortal to contact you? [That static, its getting louder. His Id, the blackblood. It is boiling up.]

I think if anyone has guilt, it is you. You- you came into my life and then destroyed it. You died and showed no signs of your Godhood to the man who will die for you. In the Christian Mythos, they said the church would be rebuilt in three days. You sure took a lot longer than that.

You want to kill me? You'll have a hell of a time doing it. [He lifts his head up a little, the smile even wider.] I'm so happy you're back.

[godandhermother]

You're a liar. [She will not accept that she's just a clone. She will not accept that you love her--yet. She is hurt and she is angry and she's a child in a god's body.] You've lied to me from the start. Love, safety, family, warmth--they're lies and I'm sick of it!

I can't influence other universes the way I am. I could barely influence my own while I was trying to avoid the complete destruction of my world from my hospital bed. Look at me!

[She throws up her hands. There's no glow left. Where once was a god now floats a young girl--fourteen, but so malnourished that there are barely any signs of having hit puberty. Her hair is pulled in a bun and her cheeks are hollow--this is what Alessa would have looks like if the fire had never happened.] If I were at full power, my world would have been destroyed. I chose to rip my soul in two again. I chose to divide myself so that the world would be preserved. I am not Almighty. I'm merely the closest thing there is to a God in my dimension.

[She touches down on the ground, transforming into the form she is most familiar with. A seven year old girl with shadows in her face and dark circles under her eyes.] Now leave me alone. [She suddenly feels drained. Recounting the things that have happened in his absence, acknowledging her rage at her 'abandonment': it's exhausting after just fragmenting her soul. The hole left behind by the majority, by Heather, feels like it'll swallow her whole. Half-formed gods need rest too.] Whatever my mun decides is up to her. I'm done.

these two. i want to hug them.

[truepsychictale]

[Too bad Sasha isn't done. His black blood makes him nothing if determined.] I'm not. And they were never lies, you're looking for something to toss your anger at, so you chose someone you know is powerless in their circumstance. God knows if it were lies, the moment you were gone I would have burned your possessions. Gave them away. {it is obvious he wants to laugh. Its not him laughing at her, its the black blood finding everything in the world much too fun right now. Sasha is trying to work with it.]

Instead I still clean that room waiting. You want them to be lies. [He smiles. That twisted black blood smile.] Because I am the easiest thing to blame, the thing you think you could control- and you still do. Your memory haunts me every single day.

If you want to be angry, do it at the right things. But no matter what you choose, I'm happy to see you again.

They need a good squeeze to make the monsters go away ;.;

[godandhermother]

[She sneers aggressively, but at the moment, she's too tired to even try going down the brute force route right now. Just you wait, Nein. She'll kill you if you stick around no she won't.] If I can control you, then stop haunting me. Just leave.

[Her eyes narrow at him. In her heart, she knows he was powerless. Yet she's still angry. Angry at him for making her hope for more, for making her think she might actually be worth something beyond her destiny. For allowing her to see what it was that she was missing.

All while knowing it could all be taken away again.] Just leave. You've done enough damage.

They do. Sasha always misses Alessa, you know?

[truepsychictale]

I'll stop haunting you when you stop haunting me. [A weak laugh.] But you will always haunt me you know. Because even if you hate me the most, I will still love you.

And here she is, being all bitter. Nice way to greet your Papa, kid. :/

[godandhermother]

[For a moment, her expression becomes downright wrathful. Then she bares her teeth and grabs a rock from the ground, throwing it at Sasha with all the strength she can muster in her little arm.] STOP THAT!

Don't you see? You just do more and more damage that way. There are some people in this world who are just meant to suffer. I was one of those people. You ruined me. You made me get used to not having so much pain, to not being scared all the time, and you just made me more sensitive for when I was dragged right back home. That's what's meant to be. I won't let you make me feel like that ever again.

Sasha still loves you girlie girl.

[truepsychictale]

[It sounds like a bell when it hits. The Monster in his blood that makes him tense and happy.]

And I blame the consortium for dragging you back. Do you think anyone would have let you gone back if they knew what was happening.

Alessa is >8C at all this.

[godandhermother]

What happened to you? [She sounds more angry than worried. Gdit, you should be in pain after she throws things.]

Who cares what people would have let happen?! The point is, you ruined me for my world. You knew I might have to go back one day and you ruined me.

I'm not going to let that happen again!

Sasha would be more like *HUG* if he wasn't mildy nutters ATM

[truepsychictale]

I thought you were going to stay with us, if I can be there forever and a day, why couldn't you? [Sasha looks at his hands and voice drops .] Want to know a secret?

Black Blood. Its quite fun when I let it work. [Like right now.]