"I am NOT on a boat, motherfucker."

[deadliestviper]

As Budd and Elle noted, there are a lot of R's in my story. Revenge, for instance. Rampage. Regret, rage, relief, respect, resignation, rape, remorse, redemption. And you, sweetheart, you seem to have forgotten that last one.

Yeah, I'm a bad person. You know this, I know this, it's common knowledge. No one lives the life I have and comes out looking like a martyr, it just doesn't happen. But that doesn't mean everything I did was evil. Ugly, yes, destructive as well, but it was honorable. It was right, at least in my eyes. My actions – dare I say it – redeemed me. I had what I needed. I had more than I needed; I had my humanity.

So why throw that out and rearrange my story for the sake of redemption? Why bring in anyone else to help me down that path? Trust me, I've got this. And even if I don't, I can handle the consequences. You and I both know I'm never going to be a good girl. So why are you still pushing to apply me for a game where I'd have to answer to a morality auditor?

Seriously. What are you punishing me for?

Comments

^____^

[nolongerhollow]

Madame, I...

Certainly you are a good woman pushed into seeking extreme justice. Compared to the man I was you do not need redemption at all.

But what would happen if you died before you reached your goal? Would not a second chance be worth a year out of your life?

Well hello there!

[deadliestviper]

A good woman. [snorts] Thanks for the vote of confidence, but I don't know about that.

Dying before reaching my goal is always an option, and if I do, then I'm beaten. A second chance shouldn't be given.

[buywithme]

It's not really about punishing you, Sister. It's about getting a second chance, for a life that maybe isn't directed by those things.

I mean, I'm sorry that she's sending you our way, because it's kind of a hard life, but in the end I think it's supposed to be worth it.

[deadliestviper]

Maybe not, but that's what it would become. At this point, there's no need to strip all those R's out of my life. They're all I've got left.

Everything worth doing is hard, but I've got other work to do.

[thestarspangledman]

Well -- a different set of eyes might be more helpful, I'm thinking.

[deadliestviper]

How do you mean?

[buywithme]

Then maybe it would be a way of finding something else to live for? Some of those R's don't seem like wonderful things to define your life by...

Everything else'll wait for you.

[deadliestviper]

That's a nice thought. [As all thoughts tend to be. They also tend not to translate well to reality, but she doesn't add this.]

I don't know how long I can wait.

[thestarspangledman]

Well, with the redemption thing. It might be easier with ...two people trying to work towards the same goal.

[deadliestviper]

In most cases, I'd agree with you, but not in this one.

[nolongerhollow]

You don't have to be a peaceful woman to be good.

No, no, it does not mean it shouldn't be given. If someone like me, who took so many lives, who hurt so many with so little reason, deserve a second chance, then you certainly do.

[buywithme]

One it might be worth taking a chance on.

What kind of work is it?

[deadliestviper]

No, but sympathy helps a great deal.

You say that as if there's a difference between us.

[deadliestviper]

It might.

The unpleasant kind. Unfinished business.

[nolongerhollow]

Oh just trust me. The way I used to be I could out-asshole anyone.

[deadliestviper]

I never was an asshole, just a bad person.

[nolongerhollow]

Perhaps I used the wrong word then. But...I still believe that if I can do it, so can you.

[deadliestviper]

That may be true but I have a hard time believing it.

[nolongerhollow]

That is all right. I did not believe it of myself for a long time either.

[deadliestviper]

What made you change your mind?

[dielikeasamurai]

I suppose I have to agree with you in spirit; this sounds awfully boring.

[deadliestviper]

No mention of how it's impossible, O-Ren? I'm surprised.

[dielikeasamurai]

Redemption is also a forest. But it's so much less tangible than revenge. How can you tell when it's been accomplished? When these hypocritical moral arbiters say so, or some mysterious, semi-mythical authority figure decides you've passed the grade? I can't see you doing it. What could it possibly mean to you, or anybody like us?

[deadliestviper]

You're asking questions I can't answer. Revenge I can understand, redemption is only a word. The closest you or I could come to it is as far as our honor will allow us.

[dielikeasamurai]

So you think it even exists?