Canon is The Office, thinking about Holly Heights

[tunemyselfout]

So after you like, totally abandon and forget about me for that nerdy girl, you want to pick me up again? Just like that?

Uh, it's been YEARS, you can't just expect me to come running at the drop of a--

Babies you say? Shiny new car and a loving husband you say? Not in Scranton you say?

[She scrutinizes these facts for a moment.]

Is he hot? Like, will he be Fassbender hot, or maybe even Dwayne Johnson hot? [Her gaze becomes distant for a moment as she allows her mind to enjoy those mental images, but then it sharply returns.]

But you promise I'll get kids without getting fat, stretch marks, or labor? Because that'd be AH-mazing!

Comments

[truffulacide]

What's so cool about having kids? It's not like they're really yours to begin with.

[tunemyselfout]

[Don't mind her as she completely ignores the first question in favor of soap boxing about the second one.]

Uh, you don't have to blood related to be a mother. I'll be great one too! I just know it.

[truffulacide]

But it helps! And, y'know - they'd actually have to consider you their mom, too. Otherwise it's just weird and awkward for everyone.

[tunemyselfout]

As they should. I'd try to make our family the best family in the neighborhood.

[She resists the urge to clap her hands together in excitement. Really, she'd try her best to be a good mother.]

[truffulacide]

You...really love kids, don't you?

[tunemyselfout]

I like them better when they're babies, because they're way cuter and don't say 'no' when you dress them up in totally adorable outfits... But I suppose it'd be nice not to have change diapers and decipher wails of varying annoyance.

[truffulacide]

Every noise that babies make is annoying except maybe laughing, but even that can be creepy depending on the context, soooo...

...Yeah. I guess if I had to choose, I'd take 'em when they're grown over the alternative. I don't even know how to change a diaper.