Dusty Muse.

[aphoenixsong]

I admit that it is quite rare for one to fully understand the path laid out before them. Usually, death, the great equalizer as it were, is the only tool we have to see what we could not see before. And, undoubtedly, once one meets Death, there is very little point in moving forward in life.

Yet... (Here, he sighs, looking tired.) Even those who have passed yearn to repair the mistakes of their past. I cannot say that I would forego the opportunity to use a Time-Turner once or twice.

(He allows himself a saddened smile.)

My time has passed. The world belongs to others who are far more fit to shoulder the burden. That fact, I can honestly say, does not sadden me in the least.

Comments

[aphoenixsong]

Yes. (It's a simple answer with layer upon layers of reasoning that he, more or less, kept to himself over the years.) I trust you because of your admirable qualities, Severus. I left so many tasks to you because I knew you - above all others - would perform them the way they needed to be performed.

I regret not confessing how very proud you made me over the years. I regret not telling you how I valued you - not only as a confidante or spy - but as a friend.

[snarkypotions]

_{[He doesn't speak for a while, doesn't really know what to say.]}

It wasn't your time.

[aphoenixsong]

No one can choose their time.

Or the times of others, for that matter.

[snarkypotions]

You chose yours.

[aphoenixsong]

Through a convenient set of circumstances only. What led to those circumstances was completely out of my hands. (Having one useless and rotting hand + arm wasn't pleasant. Especially for a whole year.)

[snarkypotions]

You put it into your own hands, Albus.

[aphoenixsong]

I suppose I did. By choosing to destroy a Horcrux in that manner, I sealed my Fate, as it were. Yet I had no way of knowing the curse would eventually take my life. It was merely, as I said, convenient.

[snarkypotions]

You cannot say that you did not suspect that it would.

[aphoenixsong]

Suspicion, when not grounded in facts, should only be acknowledged cautiously.

[snarkypotions]

And in true Gryffindor fashion, you ignored that caution.

[aphoenixsong]

Saying I ignored it would be incorrect. I accepted it could be a complication and decided to do what I could - when I could - to destroy the monster Tom Riddle has become. His partial death was well-worth that sacrifice.

Besides, it gave me a year of the utmost clarity to prepare for what came next.

[snarkypotions]

You and I both know that you had not needed to put it on to destroy it.

[aphoenixsong]

My curiosity overwhelmed me. (He gazes off into the distance.) I left Harry Godric Gryffindor's sword in my Will for a reason. Once I learned the terrible power Tom had used in his Horcruxes, I knew that Harry - and his friends - had no reason to touch them.

[snarkypotions]

_{[Have a snort.]}

A Gryffindor to the end, unsurprising.

[aphoenixsong]

I am unapologetic. (Unflinching stare.) Without my curiosity, there is much I would have never understood.

[snarkypotions]

You never are when it comes to such things.

[aphoenixsong]

I fear you would have had much stronger words for me when I was younger.

[snarkypotions]

You do rather test my patience even now, and you know my patience for idiotic teenagers.

[aphoenixsong]

I was, perhaps, as idiotic as they come - though I admit I was a genius - even then. Yet, such prowess usually gets one into trouble rather than remedying it.

[snarkypotions]

I know.

_{[He'll never match up to Albus's level of intelligence, but that confidence in his abilities, that arrogance and need for recognition was what got him in trouble in the end.]}

[aphoenixsong]

You are one of the few that would know. (Maybe not fully, but enough.) The only other one passed not long after myself.

(He waves a hand, banishing old memories.)

[snarkypotions]

_{[That gets a silent arch of the eyebrow, but he won't push if Dumbledore doesn't wish to talk.]}

[aphoenixsong]

Gellert. (The name is said softly and with a familiarity Albus shows few.)

[snarkypotions]

I see.

_{[Not surprised. Then again, the book had made a rather big stink and Snape isn't stupidly naive.]}

[aphoenixsong]

Have you ever wondered why I chose to give you a chance? I know Ms. Skeeter has done her best to tear down my reputation, yet she was not far off. There was a time that I, too, had a chance to make Muggles subservient.