Looking at a couple of games, homeless for now

[ibrokeharlem]

So you want to put me in a huge library. Full of probably valuable books, huge breakable shelves and a bunch of monsters?

I'd heard you came up with some bad ideas, but this one is pretty bad, don't you think?

At least the other one you're looking at is in the middle of the desert. Not much for the the Big Guy to mess up out there...

Wait, what do you mean I'd have to have sex with guys?

...

I think just staying in here would be the best option. But thanks for the offer.

Comments

[gotoagent]

Hello, Dr. Banner. Do you need any help?

[ibrokeharlem]

Agent Coulson. Thanks, but I don't think you'd be much help right now.

[And he'd really rather not be in S.H.I.E.L.D's debt kthnx]

[gotoagent]

SHIELD is here to help. [even when you don't want it kthnx]

[ibrokeharlem]

Whether I want the help or not, right?

[He knows how you guys work :| ]

[gotoagent]

Only when the world truly needs you, Dr. Banner.

[They make the CIA look like warm fuzzy lovers.]

[ibrokeharlem]

Well that just makes it all okay, doesn't it.

[gotoagent]

If you like it or not, Dr. Banner, the world needs both sides of you.

[ibrokeharlem]

I know that. But something tells me that you'd say that even if Loki had never showed up.

People like you and Fury always want the Other Guy. But he's not yours.

[gotoagent]

Perhaps we should sit down and speak further in private, Dr. Banner.

[ibrokeharlem]

I don't really feel like talking in private Agent Coulson. So that'll have to be a no for now.

[gotoagent]

I mean you no harm, Dr. Banner. However I will respect your answer. (FOR NOW.) Best of luck.

[ibrokeharlem]

[Chuckles]

I'm not worried about you hurting me Agent Coulson.

But thanks. I'm sure I'll see you again some time.

[It's not like you people leave him alone for too long]

[gotoagent]

I'll bring lunch.

[coffeemugsmash]

The library is no small place. And we could use your assistance. Perhaps you may understand some of the technologies used to control this place.

[ibrokeharlem]

So you want me instead of the Other Guy? I'm not much for monster hunting you know.

What sort of technology is in place? I can't do much unless I'm there, but I can offer some theories at least.

[coffeemugsmash]

I have no need for an ally who would be as likely to attack me as our enemy.

It is unlike anything known on Earth or Asgard. Unless you know of someone who as somehow managed to create...I believe they called hollow grams.

[ibrokeharlem]

[Heh]

Yeah, sorry about that.

[He's not that sorry actually.]

You mean holograms? It's not quite my field, but I know the theory behind it, and there are a few projectors capable of creating manipulable, three dimensional objects. The tech is still more of an expensive toy than anything widespread though. [Which explains why Tony Stark has them]

[coffeemugsmash]

Do you know of any technology which could take the world held within a story and create an entire realm?

[ibrokeharlem]

[Thinks]

Well there's the Tesseract, it made those gates between worlds right? Other than that and the bridge that you used in Asgard, but if it was anything like that I think you would notice before I would.

Inter-dimensional travel is something I've been interested in, but it's more of a hobby than something I've been able to study in-depth.

Now creating new dimensions? I wouldn't have thought that was really possible. The energy you would need to create that would be massive...

[loves_nature]

Hey it's okay. The big green guy actually has one weakness. Well if you guys are all the same anyway.

[ibrokeharlem]

A weakness huh? And what might that be?

[He's pretty sure that the green guy doesn't have a weakness other than being blindly pissed off most of the time, but he can humor you]

[loves_nature]

Well if he isn't completely angry already a hug actually confuses him.

[Yes she hugged a Hulk.]

[ibrokeharlem]

...

.....

Are you suicidal or something? Because that's a pretty stupid thing to do.

[He has to admit that he's really confused.]

[loves_nature]

He isn't bad and neither are you. He's just more animalistic.

All he did when I hugged him was sat there.

[ibrokeharlem]

[Rubs the bridge of his nose]

I didn't say he was. But something doesn't have to be bad to hurt you.

He was probably just as confused as I am.

[loves_nature]

Probably, he just kind of sat there.

[gloryride]

You really sure about that?

[Sounds like a fun house if you ask him.]

Door number two might lead to some space for the green giant to get the wind blowing through his hair, and maybe even get you some much overdue stress relief.

[ibrokeharlem]

I don't need that kind of stress relief Tony. Not to mention I don't think it'd be much stress relief for the other person if the Other Guy showed up midway through.

It's not as bad as it used to be, but it's still not the best idea ever, you know?

[Translation: He hasn't had sex since before the accident and the last time he tried was with Betty so... he doesn't want to risk it]

[gloryride]

[Some things are assumed, Bruce, and assumed by a genius means that he's just figured it out. Some things really don't need to be explained.]

Yeah, well. That might be a bit of a bummer, but don't knock it before you try it. Some people like it a little rough. Or, you know, violent.

[ibrokeharlem]

[Shakes his head, smiling just a bit]

I think this goes past "a little rough," don't you?

[gloryride]

[Shrug.]

Won't know until you test it out. Maybe the big guy just needs the soft touch of another man.

But anyway, your fate's in the hand of your holder, and unfortunately for you [Hah, or not.] that's not me.

[ibrokeharlem]

[Face, meet palm]

Tony, I don't actually like men. Not like that at least.

[Now the Hulk on the other hand.... well no one's asked him yet]

[Raises an eyebrow]

And I really don't know which of you could be worse, her or you.

[gloryride]

Yeah, what's to like?

[Sarcasm, clearly, because there's a lot to like about himself.

And then he smirks.]

I trust your judgement, Dr. Banner, but I'm not the one with abilities capable of banishing you to a homoerotic desert or a library. I'm not that cruel, and frankly I'm insulted that you think I am.

[hotrodred]

So... important scientific inquiry here! Do you Hulk-out during sex? Inquiring minds want to know.

[ibrokeharlem]

[Sighs]

Important scientific inquiry, huh?

[He pushes up his glasses]

I don't actually know. And I'd rather not find out for sure.

[hotrodred]

Yep, science. I mean.. it's all about biology, right?

[Oh, so that would mean...] You haven't fucked anyone since it happened? [Clasps Bruce's shoulder.] You poor, poor man.

[ibrokeharlem]

[What is it with Tonys making him facepalm today. Or any day.]

I've had other things on my mind since the accident.

[hotrodred]

[It's their job okay.]

What about taking care of business yourself?

[ibrokeharlem]

Do you think we could talk about something else instead? [Anything else?]

[hotrodred]

I'm guessing that's also a 'no,' then.

Okay, what would you rather talk about then? What's new and exciting in Hulkland?

OH, you know what? I think that chick up there is onto something. Hugs. Hugs for Hulky. You should look into that, y/y?

[ibrokeharlem]

I think hugs are a really bad idea. I'm surprised she didn't get thrown across the room...

[Maybe the Big Guy was in a not-quite-as-pissed-as-usual mood? Who knows. He just thinks she was really lucky.]

[hotrodred]

Hugs are never a bad idea. Besides, I think he likes me.

[Yep. He's definitely going to try it sometime.]

[ibrokeharlem]

...

Don't even think about it.

[he knows where you're going with this, Mr. Stark.]

[hotrodred]

Too late. Thought about it.

[starspangledheart]

.....Dr. Banner.

My mun has been thinking about sending me somewhere, and now you've gotten her attention with that.. second game.

[WHAT DID THEY DO TO LAS VEGAS SOB Steve is so appalled.]

[ibrokeharlem]

...

You might want to talk her out of that. I know I am.

[Yeah, sorry about that Captain Boy Scout]