on abax's latest event | canon point is the end of mockingjay

[74]

I'm not afraid of dying.

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[justthedriver]

Everyone say that until they're bleeding out.

[74]

It doesn't mean anything when they can make you come back.

[justthedriver]

Not afraid of pain?

[wont]

[ Somebody here is still getting over being killed in her own game. ]

Perhaps you should be.

[74]

They'll bring me back in a week.

( THAT DOESN'T CHANGE ANYTHING oh god katniss what are you. )

[wont]

Yes. You will live, but the memory will linger. [ It haunts her sleep. Not seven hells or seven heavens, not the drowned god or the Stranger. But an emptiness, a hollowness that never ends. ]

And those you love will suffer greatly. More than if they themselves had been cut down.

[65]

You think that's all that matters?

[74]

( sob finnick can you stop making her feel bad about this. there's a long, long pause. )

Don't tell Prim.

[65]

[NO HE WON'T X( ]

It's not my place.

[succorer]

Still.

It doesn't make it okay.

[ ... :c ]

[74]

I didn't get a choice.

[succorer]

I know you don't. And I know that you'll be back.

[rig]

It's not too frightening when there's a guarantee you'll come back.

[ He'd know, having choked to death on his own blood, been crushed beneath collapsing buildings, suffocated, drowned, been shot and beheaded and blown up and then woken up, clutching at wounds that were never there. But there's always a what if, no matter how certain you are. ]

[74]

It's not really a guarantee.

( the gamemakers decide everything. when she lives, and when she dies, and there is no choice in the matter. there are no guarantees and no constants, and there is nothing in her control. but this is normal. katniss is used to being manipulated, even if she usually understands why. )

They could take it back.

[bettingonyou]

[ He has to admit, he finds this a bit excessively brave. Even he was a little afraid of dying. Not enough to stop him from what he did, of course, but enough that comes with natural survival instincts. ]

You really have always been a brave one. [ Not that he had a moment of doubt, but those words of hers, truly tell him. He had picked the right person to fight for. She was worth it. ]

[74]

( don't do this, cinna. don't make her into some kind of hero when she knows that she isn't, because the guilt of that is crushing. she knows the truth. that bravery has little to do in a world like their own, where heroes don't exist and the capitol warps you into becoming someone you can't stand.

it's never so easy. never so black and white. )

I'm not brave.

[bettingonyou]

Of course you are, Katniss. [ Small smile. ] You've never given me a reason to doubt you.

[ducktail]

But you won't die.

[ Right ... ? Because you promised. ]

[74]

( and katniss is instantly shifting into big sister mode, trying to comfort prim as much as she can, helpfully ignoring the fact that she is going to die. )

Don't worry about me, okay? I'll be fine. I'll be back before you know it.

[fatalchoice]

Haven't got to be. There are plenty of other people who'll be afraid for you.

[There's a flash of teeth, like a smile, but it's never full when it's from Johanna Mason.]

That's what you get for being the Mockingjay, brainless.

[74]

I didn't ask them to be.

( seriously. it'd be easier if they didn't care, and that way she could go off on her reckless suicide missions guilt-free. )

[malaprop]

Ooh. Honey. Don't temper fate like that.

[74]

It's already going to happen.

[smartaxed]

And that, sweetheart, is your problem in a nutshell.

[74]

Either way. Does it change anything?