homeless, and looking. suggestions welcomed!

[liugan]

Over here as well, then?

You're not very good at this, you know. I've a feeling that if you truly desired to send me somewhere new, a place with structure and setting, that you would have accomplished that long ago. Let's not forget your failed attempts with applications as of late.

I would not mind, of course. It is highly entertaining, watching you continue to get your hopes up over and over.

Try a little harder, then. And if there is no place for me, then that should not surprise you.



[ ooc; now with correct journal! ]

Comments

[liugan]

As endearing and warm as your hopes are, sister, they are foolish first. You will forgive. I will not.

[odinsdottir]

That I have taken the throne -- this is worse than destroying one of the NIne Realms?

Please, brother. See reason.

[liugan]

You still do not understand. Stop for a moment and think, Thunderess. I have not once cared for the throne, it was never my reason for such genocide.

[odinsdottir]

I have never understood you.

Why, then? Why, if not to prove yourself to the All-Father?

[ A pause, then: ] Why kill me? Loki, why?

[liugan]

Why?

Because you, sister, the only one I have ever loved, the only one who ever defended me from their accusations and scorn when you could see it, you turned against me faster than all of Asgard.

For a mortal.

[odinsdottir]

And what of your lie? That Father was dead, that I was banished for all time?

What of the guardian you sent to kill me?

You attacked before I had the chance to betray you.

[liugan]

We are to get into this again, I see.

How can you claim to wish for me at your side once more when I can see your hatred for me burn in your very eyes?

[odinsdottir]

It is pain, not hate, and do not confuse the two.

[liugan]

I confuse nothing. You are the same as any other.

We are finished, Thunderess. Cease your foolish attempts to bring be home.

[odinsdottir]

By Odin, Loki, I would chain you by my side until you saw reason. Please, please do not go. You are a part of me, and I am forever less by your absence. And yet you strike, bite and claw like a trapped animal. Let me love you!

[liugan]

I only behave the way monsters are expected to behave, you should know better. As disappointing as it is to admit, I have no control over your damn feelings, foolish however they may be.

Love who, or whatever you want. It does not change things. And you only waste your efforts.

[odinsdottir]

No.

I don't believe you.

Only minutes ago, you said I was the only one you'd ever loved. Why would you want to turn me away?

[liugan]

It is easier to push away now, than to hold on and have to let go again later.

[odinsdottir]

You are so eager to let go.

[liugan]

If it would mean not having this conversation again, then so be it.

[odinsdottir]

You tear my heart from my chest, Loki, and then you would leave it behind. You would leave it bleeding, behind, and never touch it again.

I have never known hurt like this.

And I cannot believe that you are unmoved.

[liugan]

I simply mask it better than you can. I know better than to hope, than to wish or desire for what has been. I know better than to want to go back to something that can never be again.

To not touch it now would mean to never corrupt it further.

[odinsdottir]

So many masks that even my faith in you turns sour.

Our lives cannot simply be separated. You must know this. If we do not come together as family, then we come together as enemies.

[liugan]

So be it.