V-voicetesting. Possibly going to Discedo eventually

[crueltytocommas]

Dear Mun,

This is a turn up for the books and, no mistake!  I have barely been Captain for a minute and already I am, going to another city that is not Ankh-Morpork.  Another Adventure, I am sure.  And many, things for an Officer of the Watch to do.  Although I would, prefer to stay with the Watch in Ankh-Morpork.  There are, many thing to be done there with All the recent changes.

Yet, I am curious to see, this Other Watch you have, mentioned.

sincerely, 

Captain Carrot Ironfoundersson

Comments

/schreeeeeeeeeeeeeech

[until_i_say_so]

Don't bother.

you are the fastest

[crueltytocommas]

Excellent evening, isn't it? [He is being the most cheerful.] And why should I not bother. To support the Watch is the duty of all law-abiding citizens, is it not?

the speediest ever /boots Kid Flash away

[until_i_say_so]

It's just a shitty little hole full of a bunch of needless do-gooders that talk a lot but don't ever do anything. [Damian, you haven't even met them yet, shut up.]

[crueltytocommas]

I'm sure that they all have excellent intentions.

[until_i_say_so]

Tt. That's like when you say someone ugly has "a wonderful personality".

[crueltytocommas]

[He beams at the boy cheerfully.]

Exactly!

[until_i_say_so]

[Pitying look. You are getting it, Carrot.]

[crueltytocommas]

[What are you talking about? He knows some trolls and gargoyles with wonderful personalities.]

[until_i_say_so]

... are you slow or something?

[crueltytocommas]

I can run quite well, thank you.

[Figurative language, he doesn't understand it.]

[until_i_say_so]

[...]

I guess that answers my question.

[crueltytocommas]

Isn't that the usual goal of asking a question?

[until_i_say_so]

...

[He is going to punch you in the face in the game, isn't he Carrot?]

Yes. It is.

[crueltytocommas]

[Ah, a Troubled Youth. Perhaps Carrot needs to start an intramural sports team in Discedo.]

All solved, then.

[until_i_say_so]

[... then again, maybe a punch in the face is too good for this guy.]

I was right, you definitely don't want to come here.

[crueltytocommas]

[But everybody likes Carrot.]

Now, I'm sure it can't be nearly as bad as all that.

[until_i_say_so]

[But Damian doesn't like anyone. Except maybe Dick... and that sounded wrong.]

No, it's mostly pretty boring.

[crueltytocommas]

[But Carrot has krisma]

There you go. Boredom is something simply solved.

[until_i_say_so]

[... IDEK what that means and now I feel like I've failed Discworld.]

Yeah, but I'm not supposed to kill people anymore.

[crueltytocommas]

[XD, usual disc misunderstanding of charisma. That's what Colon and Nobbs call Carrot's ability to stop riots by being nice to people.]

Now, you know the guild of assassins looks down on unlicensed murders. Hold on. [He begins rooting around in his pockets and retrieves a deflated rubber ball.]

I knew carrying this around would be handy!

[until_i_say_so]

[Oh, well in that case, Damian and charisma really don't get along well.]

My mother owns the League of Assassins you idiot.

And what the hell is that for?

[crueltytocommas]

There's no call to go around making up things like that. All the guilds are public institutions.

[He smiles, allowing the sinsult to roll right off him.]

A football, of course. There is nothing better to assist Youths in overcoming boredom than a little healthy exercise.

[until_i_say_so]

I am not making it up!

[Practically throwing a tantrum here.]

And if you come near me with that shitty thing I'll shove it down your damn throat!

[waterfell]

You'll be making speeches about justice in no time, won't you?

[crueltytocommas]

It is the job of an Officer of the Watch to defend Justice. To Serve and Protect.

[waterfell]

Somehow I knew it.

Sure you're ready for the places muns will send you?

[crueltytocommas]

I am sure that even muns have kind hearts deep inside. Surely I will not be sent anywhere too terrible.

[waterfell]

They have little regard for our wishes. [Her lips pull into something of a cold smirk.] Unless we make them.

[crueltytocommas]

Surely if we present our concerns politely they will consider them.

[waterfell]

Good luck to you!

I prefer more direct methods.

[aimed]

A true adventurer never turns down an offer for an adventure!

[crueltytocommas]

But I am not an adventurer. [He smiles proudly.] I am an Officer of the City Watch.

WHY ARE YOU PERFECT

[deshabille]

Adventure is generally a euphemism for trouble.

Idk, still so uncertain with his voice

[crueltytocommas]

Much the same thing, I've heard.

it is a+

[deshabille]

And you don't mind?

[crueltytocommas]

I am a policeman, Ma'am. An Officer of the Watch. What else should I do but Serve and Protect?

[deshabille]

Oh, right, you're one of them. You'll know the Butcher.

[kungfublackfrog]

Oh yeah, you and Kresnik will get along just fine.

[crueltytocommas]

Evening, sir. I'm afraid I don't know anyone by that name.

[kungfublackfrog]

If your mun decides to send you there, you'll meet him if you decide to join. Sounds exactly like me except more monotone.

[And easy to poke fun at.]

[crueltytocommas]

I shall look forward to it!