avengers spoilers possible

[spiderhorse]

[Everyone's favorite deformed child of fire and Giants is back, and he doesn't understand something...

If my uncle, the thunderer, truly wishes to see Jane Foster once again, why does he not ask my rider for me? I can travel between all the Nine Realms without using the Bifrost. Am I truly thought of so little?

He does have a point.]

Comments

[has_an_army]

Because many people here seem to fall into three categories of canon: Movies, comics, myths.

Very few dabble.

And my brother is a brainless oaf.

[spiderhorse]

[MOM!

MOM! MOM! MOMMY! YOU'RE HERE and he is so pleased, look at him trotting.

What about my rider? Why would he not suggest it?]

[has_an_army]

[Settle down, settle down]

I've no idea. People tend to overlook my children entirely.

[spiderhorse]

[BUT I LOVE YOU MOM

Oh, okay. Fine. He'll settle.

But you don't overlook us, right?

Look at that face, that sweet, innocent, cute horse face.]

[uncompromise]

[What the fuq. That is too many legs for a horse. Man, you Asgard guys sure have weird stuff.]

Huh. Now I've seen everything.

[spiderhorse]

[Yeah, Loki had a Hel of a time getting him out from what he heard.

Really? I'm "Everything"?

No one calls Sleipnir that. He is so flattered.]

[has_an_army]

Of course not.

[He's a master liesmith, remember?]

I'd prefer you not let Thor ride you. Throw him off, preferably into muck or mud.

[has_an_army]

[DON'T GAWK AT HIS SON!]

[uncompromise]

[Loki's a sore subject for Clint here. Please to not be bringing him up, kkthnx. He folds his arms and smirks.]

Well, you're something, I'll give you that much. Must wind up tripping a lot with all those legs.

[spiderhorse]

[But Mom...you never come visit anymore...

But it's my back, Mother. I can choose. That is the one thing I am allowed to choose, my riders.]

[uncompromise]

[YOU AREN'T THE BOSS OF ME ANYMORE!]

[has_an_army]

[If you make him feel like a freak, Loki will find inventive uses for impaling you on your own arrows, Legolas]

[spiderhorse]

[But Loki is Momdad and also great and wonderful and funny and negligent and stuff, but he overlooks all that bad stuff because MOMMY

Trip? Oh no! Here, I'll show you.

Oh man, watch that god horse trot, Clint. If you're the boss of arrows, he's totally the boss of horse...ry. He trots like a pro, man, this could be a competition and all the tiny horses would petition against him while everyone else threw a bunch of blue ribbons because he's the most awesome horse

ever]

[has_an_army]

[Mommy's busy trying to enslave mortals, baby]

Just once? Just one tiny exception? For your mother?

i'm totally seeing this as frollo/quasimodo relationship rn

[spiderhorse]

[Mom...you are so manipulative and also a shitty parent in all regards, tossing your babies away...like, why do you even get pregnant anymore? Is there Asgardian welfare for you or something?

Of course, Sleipnir loves everything to do with his mommy forever and ever, so he doesn't say that (or think it, actually). Instead he paws the ground with two hooves.

Uncle Thor is kind to me, Mother.

[uncompromise]

[Oh take a chill pill, Frosty. He's just busy trying to wrap his brain around this.]

Pretty much XD

[has_an_army]

[Yeah, that's right. Loki's the freaky Octo-mom of Asgard]

You disappoint me, child.

[Oh he's so good at manipulating his own flesh and blood]

[has_an_army]

[It is quite a bit to take in]

[uncompromise]

[Kid, your Momdad brainwashes people. That is so not cool, especially when it happened to Clint.

D'aaw, who's a pretty pony? You are!]

Heh. Not bad. Too bad I don't have any sugar cubes for you there, Trigger.

worse momdad ever

[spiderhorse]

[Does that mean he'd have to get all his forms neutered and spayed? That could take a century...

He pulls his head back, snorting and shaking it as though he's just inhaled a large amount of dirt and pollen.

That was unnecessary.]

[spiderhorse]

[But...but Momdad gave him life...he knows he has issues but...but...!

THE PRETTIEST PONY EVER LOOK AT HIM TOSS THAT LUXURIOUS MANE

You don't? You didn't come bearing any food?

YOU INSULT HIM TINY MAN]

Aw, no mom of the year award?

[has_an_army]

[Absolutely not! Loki would rather birth an army of monsters then subject himself to that painful humiliation. He can always just abandon them]

Don't turn your nose up at me. You've no idea how long I suffered through that labor just birthing you!

[Playing yet another card now]

[uncompromise]

Sorry there. Tell you what, though. Let me see what I can scrounge up. [Read: steal from his mun.] Guy like you deserves something, at least.

[Yyyep. Never visiting Asgard. Thor has a weird-ass family.]

n o p e

[spiderhorse]

[omg Mom are you really going there? Really? To your mildly stupid son who does nothing but fulfill his duty at all times? Are you seriously going there?

That is beneath you, Mother.]

[uncompromise]

[You Asgard guys are weird. Except Thor. He's a little lower on the Weird-Shit-O-Meter. Also: that is one creepy icon. Stoppit.]