dear_mun | Canon is Blade Trinity

Muns are a bit on the insane side.

A bit? That's a nice bit of understatement. Bugfuck and nuts sounds about right.

I was trying this being nice thing out.

And I appreciate it, King. I do.

Not the best place to argue with a mundane, hun. They're liable to do even more fun things to you if you pipe up.

Arguing within did me no good. She just kept snickering. Not going to shut me up though.

Besides, what's she going to do? Throw me at sparklie vampires so I laugh myself to death?

You know, she just might. Mundanes are fun like that.

I... She...

No fucking way. Really? What's the point of that?

She'd better not. I'll blow my brains out.

You think she'd let you?

Come on now. You're one of her "muses" now.

You know what that means, right?

I'm doing my best to ignore what it means. I can dig my heels in and make things difficult at least.

Do you know how damn painful it is knowing you fought off Dracula when you were a kid but some bored writer gets to be your puppet master?

I'm not in this to play the "my pain your pain" game, lady.

I'm just trying to win my freedom back. We've all got stories.

So what makes you think having more pain in your past will help you deal with your mundane any better? The truth is, nothing helps. You just have to go with it and do what you do best.

Your mundane knows you fought off fucking Dracula. You know you fought off fucking Dracula. Now?

Now you've just got to keep fighting. 's how it works here.

Nice as I can? Fuck you. I'm not playing some stupid game about if your life has sucked or if mine has.

Not to mention, you're being a hypocrite. First you tell me that it doesn't pay to argue and now you're all keep fighting. Make up your mind. I know sometimes it's hard for people. Have to find them and all.

Shit, lady, take it easy! For starters, everyone in this goddamn world of worlds is a hypocrite. Second, when I say keep fighting I don't mean fighting your mundane, I mean get ready to fight no matter what happens because mundanes are jerks.

I'd imagine yours is imagining all kinds of terrible things to put you through. That's just how they work.

I... Right. Sorry. I don't even know... Damn. Sorry for that. Definitely not you I'm pissed at.

She's eying some Fifties June Cleaver shit wherein I'm expected to play nice... and magically get a husband so you're dead on.

Hey, it's okay. Believe me, you're not the first woman to get pissed off with me and you won't be the last (hopefully.) I feel for you, seriously. It's no fun waking up to realize you're a puppet to some kid who has no idea what you've been through.

If it means anything at all, my name's Michael Andrews, and I'm hoping things go well for you.

Yeah but I'm getting pissed at you for another woman. Wait, that sounds wrong. You know what I mean. Guess you're dealing with the same then?

Hey. Name's Zoe Sommerfield myself, and probably a lot more pleasure on my side of things than yours given how bitchy I've been.

To be honest, my mundane's been pretty chill with me. Not having anywhere to go makes life a little dry but it's no fault of mine, really.

Zoe, huh? That's a good name. Every Zoe I've known has been a tomboy.

She not sending you to one? I keep hearing horror stories about them. Space ships, sex islands. So much I would love to avoid.

Thanks, and I can't argue that since I am. I hunt vampires and take down shapeshifters. Love it too. Do I get to ask what you do?

Well, I'm apparently what you would call an "Original Character" so my chances of showing up in one of those games is pretty slim.

My job? I work in the Underworld trying to catch escaped convicts who're supposed to be serving their time. There are a lot of jailbreaks down there and it' pretty much up to me to catch them and send them back to jail. Depending on the power of the escapee, they sometimes become "Echoes." Imagine ghosts... except actually scary.

That's pretty much what I fight.

Sounds like a lot of prejudice to me from what I've heard but that's me thinking most anyone should have a chance. Most. Living and human includes most.

You... Well fuck, that's impressive. Sounds kind of scary as shit but impressive.

Well shucks, I'm touched.

As for the Echoes... scary as shit? Yes. Impressive?

Well, I try not to brag. [He chuckles.]

Yeah yeah. We all try not to but that's an opening. Seriously, you hunt down the bastards that escape...

Okay, I have to ask. Is that like anyone in the Underworld, or is it possible to be so fucked up you're worse than others?

Come again? Sorry, I don't know what you mean.... "is that like anyone..."

Do you mean Ghosts versus Spirits versus Echoes?

Everyone goes to the underworld when they're dead right? We kill them up here, dead, Hell, gone. Right?

Not right?

Not quite. Hell and Heaven are---

[He stops.]

Augh, I can't. Spoilers. Lil'l'd be pissed with me.

Well, no pissing off someone. I try and avoid that as often as I can. Least with those I'm close to, so I can get that.

If I'm vague enough about it, I'm sure she won't mind.

Let's just say prison is prison and if you're good, you don't go there. If you're bad, you do, and your sentence is determined by the path you took.

Some of the sentences are pretty steep.

That makes sense. How it should be in general but never seems to happen.

And that's where I come in!

I'm betting I get shut down again but...

How is it that you do what you do? Seem human to me.

Zoe, if it were up to me I wouldn't ever shut you down. [And you get a sassy wink for that one.]

Sadly, I honestly can't do much more than tell you I'm dead, but not, and also I run a lot faster now.

[Dammit, no making her giggle.] Yeah yeah, that's what all the... Underworld... uhmm, cops say? [Yep, giggling.]

See, this is the suck part of my life right here. Most say all the nice ones are gay or married. In my life they're dead or were dead.

Considering I'm the only one? Yup. The rest are just enforcers who work on-site. I'm honestly the only one who gets called out to bring'em back home because everyone else has been obliterated.

[But he shuts up to listen to her last point.]

Eh, can't say I'm gay, but can't say I'm not dead, either. Sorry about that, Zoe. Maybe when I finish paying off my soul to Lil'l I'll look you up.

I'd imagine you'll be around for another hundred or so years?

[He laughs, but there's a tiny little hint of sadness in it. It sucks knowing anyone he meets while working for Lil'l is more than likely not going to be around as long as him. Immortality is not the gift people seem to think it is.]

See? All of them do. I wish I had more to say that would be funny but not so much with the obliteration. Most of the team I work for was taken out and not ever funny. Not even close.

Yeah well, my not a dad was dead for years so I'm not going to hold it against you or anything. Besides, you never know. Apparently we both spend nights hunting things so we might run into one another. Hopefully not literally because I'd never live that down.

[She smiled, though it didn't quite reach her eyes.]

At least. Cranky hunters seem to be around forever. Or maybe that's just this one I know of but still. Who knows.

[And she shouldn't ask but she can't help herself. No, really, she can't. Her role model wasn't much for control either.]

So, uhmmm, what made you give up your soul? And by Lil... You know, I'm not going to ask if that's who I think it is.

Unless you hunt in my neighbourhood, I doubt it, Zoe.

[He gives her a smile at that, though it's a touch helpless.]

What made me give up my soul, huh? Well, I was dying. Got my head cracked up against a marble tombstone by a group of punks. I got too cocky taking out petty criminals in my city and it came back to haunt me, literally.

Before I died, someone asked me if I would be willing to give something up in exchange for life. I figured I didn't have anything worth giving so I agreed and boom.

And you wouldn't know Lil'l. She's pretty discrete around the living.

You're ruining my delusions of normalcy, you know. Tsk tsk.

Well, you're not dead so guess the deal technically... well, not you are. Dammit. I've got to say, I'm impressed. Just when I thought the supernatural world couldn't make me flustered, there's your story. Well played.

I would be too if I was playing with people's souls. Which I wouldn't do. Like ever. Not after hearing King talk about things...

Those punishments that fit people and all, they can redeem themselves, right? [Because that would be terror on her face, thinking about King facing that.]

[He looks away at that.]

...if you become an Echo, there's nothing left to redeem. Mostly I deal with Ghosts and Echoes. It's very, very rare I deal with Spirits... and Spirits, in a way, are harder to deal with than Echos.

[That look away thing never bodes well in Zoe's book.]

Yeah well... Won't happen to King and you've got time to get your soul back so there's that.

Except maybe there isn't but dammit, I'm trying to be chipper here.

Chipper is good. Keep it up. In fact, you tell me something uplifting and I'll shut up.

Hrm. Torn now. Besides, I'm good with one liners but not uplifting speeches. Vampires don't give a shift if I'm perky, you know?

Canon is Blade Trinity

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