dear_mun | (no subject)

Current Mood: discontent

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canon: criminal minds

(no subject)

So it's us, here, again.

You remember what happened last time. Why are you so willing to do this again? I'm not. I keep ending up in exactly the same place - and--

[Spencer sighs, hands rubbing over his face.]

And I don't have a choice.

Thanks. Thanks a lot.

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[Here, have a radioactive 328 foot tall monster who sympathizes with you completely. Godzilla observes you, growling vaguely]

...I've just come to the conclusion that I'm in a pretty sad state when I can look at a giant lizard and wonder if maybe stepping on is such a bad thing after all. [And he's staring up at Godzilla, maybe surprisingly unafraid.]

[Godzilla was tempted to do that to the human, but he was held back. He didn't have the power to kill here, only hurt and cause harmless property damage. It incensed him, so he just gave his angry classic roar, and waited for the human's reaction]

[His eyes squinted shut and he wished for earplugs - okay, maybe now he could rival Hotch for hearing damage - but he didn't exactly run. Instead, if anything, he braced himself. Whatever happened at this point? Happened.]

[Godzilla lost interest in the suicidal human and stomped off, pausing to shoot his ray at a replica of the Empire State building, which was fortunately empty. It went off in a very pretty and colorful explosion, and Godzilla left.]

Easy, Reid. It could be a lot worse.

[For a moment, he nearly responds that she doesn't know what she's talking about - but then he remembers saying that once before and that's the last vibe he wants to give off.] It could. I'm... not dead or anything. I guess I'm just tired of being the hamster on the wheel.

It's something we've all had to do at some time or another, we just... get through it. Find a way to cope and sleep it off when we're done.

Or just climb off the hamster wheel and do something else. [He sighed.] Sorry. I just really, really don't want to have my heart broken yet again.

Oh, I'm sorry... I- I didn't know.

I didn't tell anyone. I didn't want anyone to know. It just feels like, at this point, if I dare to try anything, it'll end in the same way.

You are too young to be that cynical. You're starting to sound like me.

For one thing, I'm thirty. For another, I've been in two relationships I thought were going to be lifetime only to watch them fizzle and die away. It was better when I ignored the idea of having a love life, even with Morgan constantly taunting me about not having a love life.

Sounds like you need one of my Sin to Win vacations.

...I'm really, really not good at one-night stands, Emily. [Him? Have a one-night stand? Or even a one-weekend stand?]

That's not what the weekend is all about. Part of it, maybe, but it's really just leaving some of your inhibitions behind. Pretend to be someone else for awhile.

[Now that was a real temptation. It hit on one of the things he'd so often wished - that he could be someone else. The want probably showed in his eyes. To be someone else, if only for a while.]

[She sees that look and smiles.] I can totally hook you up, Reid and no one will ever know.

Except Morgan, because you're practically duty bound to tell him.

My hand to God, I will not even tell Morgan.

[And though it's apropos of nothing, it makes Reid ask--] Do you believe in God?

[There's a pause as this brings up a few memories she'd rather forget.] Not anymore. I did once, when I was a little girl.

Why did you stop?

[Something he truly wondered about. Something he'd been thinking about for a while.]

I couldn't wrap my head around the hypocrisy.

Hypocrisy... In... In the deity or in the believers? I...

[He exhaled, eyes closing for a long moment.]

I've been thinking a lot about... God, and about religion, and... I believe in science. But after some of the things that have happened, it's kind of hard to keep attributing everything to coincidence.

[Have a young man in a bomber jacket and army officer's uniform gently tapping a fast food bag against your arm.]

Anything a burger might help you get some perspective on? Or a friendly ear?

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