Someone's not thrilled with the reboot

[grouchinleather]

It's gone from a cute joke to insulting to overpriced kindling. Stop it. That isn't me, and that sure as hell isn't Apollo or Jenny Q or the Engineer or even Hawksmoor. Even when we were stuck on all those alternate earths, it was still some sort of broken funhouse mirror version of us. I refuse to acknowledge that "bwahaha" world exists. This isn't even close.

Now flip to that last page so I can see whose skulls I need to crack.

Comments

[cutestcentury]

I'm wearing fucking pigtails.

[The horror.]

[unantichristly]

Mun had a feelin' it was gonna' be bad from some of the pictures. She's too scared to read it.

[escarabajo]

Hey, I'm not happy with the reboot, either. [He ran away from home. This Jaime Reyes would never run away from home. :c]

But this is a problem that most likely can't be fixed with punching things.

[grouchinleather]

[O hai there daughter.] Really, that's the part you're gonna focus on?

You have worn pigtails before, you know.

[grouchinleather]

Clearly yours is smarter than mine, kid. Never seen someone continually buy something she hates.

[cutestcentury]

[Oh hi daddy] You want me to focus on the fact that you're not my parents anymore?

Yeah, because dad has the same taste in hairdos he has with music. Made me look even younger.

[grouchinleather]

[Yeah, you'd also never stab your best friend either.]

Trust me on this one, everything can be solved through violence.

[grouchinleather]

You'd be being more honest.

He didn't want his little girl to grow up. Still doesn't.

[unantichristly]

Are you an' Apollo even gonna' be married eventually in it?

[escarabajo]

[Or backhand his other best friend.]

Even if they're problems with, like, editorial? I only know of one guy who could punch through the fourth wall like that and he's kinda not in on this whole New 52 stuff as far as I know.

[voodooing]

At least you're not a clone or not clone test subject thing. I'm not even really sure what I'm supposed to be anymore and my mun has completely given up.

[tochasethesun]

As amusing as I find it that the reboot version of you is Edward Cullen in a leather gimp suit, it's not amused enough to over look that this version of me starts off looking like an actor out of a bad military-themed porno.

[tochasethesun]

Hey, you were adorable.

[voiceofauthority]

[She gives no fucks about the reboot since they're not screwing her up.]

I wish my mun would get these. It sounds dammed hilarious.

[grouchinleather]

If Andrew decided to marry that Edward Cullen rip-off, I'll track down that universe myself and kill them both... On second thought, if he does they deserve each other.

Like I said, that's not me and Apollo.

[grouchinleather]

As satisfying as massacring the entire place would be, it's inefficient. You just need to know which one to take out.

I don't need the 4th wall, I live in the bleed. Can't be that hard to track down the right universe.

hfgsafkjhkj real Priscilla!

[grouchinleather]

At least you get to enjoy reading about you punching you in the face repeatedly.

Have you seen what they did to Cash?

[unantichristly]

'Andrew?' [ he might be making an 'eww' face. ]

I s'pose not. Well, least you an' Apollo are still awesome here, anyway.

[grouchinleather]

[She may not give any fucks about the reboot, but they most certainly fucked up her canon. Her shirt was in the ship's collection room. That means Jenny Sparks spent her entire life with Stormwatch, working under some shadow lords' thumb.]

Don't make me kill you again with fake-me's chin spike.

[grouchinleather]

You're giving him too much credit. It's more like a teenager who got his gimp suit at Hot Topic.

What, don't like the combat boots over your unitard, honey?

[grouchinleather]

Andrew. [Might be making that same face.]

Small victories.

[tochasethesun]

[Snort.] Oh god that chin spike, I bet that makes post-battle adrenaline nookie awkward.

I was more alluding to the buzz cut, ripped shirt, and jeans, but the combat boots are pretty hideous too.

[unantichristly]

That's a dumb name. They shoulda' let me write 'em. 'Cept I guess Zira would get that panicky look again if I was to. [ MOST DRAMATIC EYE-ROLL. ] Angels.

the only kind that should exist. why DC why?

[voodooing]

I don't even know which one to go for, they're both pretty horrible and not me. At all.

...I think he may have gotten the worst deal of us all. Which uh, is actually kinda accurate. So, I guess we can say they got one thing right in this reboot: they gave Cole the worst end of the deal.

[grouchinleather]

And I'm sure you'd do a better job.

That reminds me... who the hell are you, anyway?