He needs a place.

[hopsborders]

Oh, no no no. After our last talk, I have learned to never trust you ever again.

That's right, I remember that. How could I forget? I'm onto you, little lady. I am onto you like a hawk.

Comments

[alwaysfaithful]

I would ask but... from what my mun saw in the link, I would rather not.

[hopsborders]

Please don't. [He quickly adds this:] And it never happened!

[alwaysfaithful]

My mun is laughing at that link. That can't be good.

[hopsborders]

It. Never. Happened.

[wildside]

Ugh. I shall need to cleanse my sight after that unfortunate image. Perhaps with acid.

[hopsborders]

[Why do his posts always attract a Morrigan? ...did he say that out loud? Oh, thank the Maker.]

That's funny. I could've sworn you and acid were related.

[wildside]

Did you think of that one all by your little self, Alistair? Careful, you might have strained something between your ears.

[hopsborders]

How about you stop talking about my ears and I'll stop talking about your nose thatlookssomuchlikeFlemeth's, deal?

[wildside]

[Shehatesyousomuch]

You know, I believe I owe our dear assassin a small favor. What say you, Alistair? Shall I paralyze you, strip you down, then shove you in a box for him to open?

[hopsborders]

Don't make me holy smi- ...wait, what? [When did Zevran- bdkjsada]

[wildside]

Oh, most excellent! I shall let him know immediately. I'm certain he'll be very pleased.

[hopsborders]

[He almost sputters. Almost. No no, you're not winning this one, mini-Flemeth.]

You're having me on, aren't you? I just know it.

[wildside]

[Nope. She tops :)]

By the end of the night, I won't be the only one having you on.

[A most wicked, wicked laugh.]

[hopsborders]

[BLAST IT! NO. SHE HAS TEETH!]

And then ten kittens died today because of that laugh of yours. [Meanwhile, Anders: "NOOOOO">]

You can't even take the sight of me naked. As if you could even............have me on like that.

[wildside]

I am charming. Perhaps you ought to take down notes - I know the letters may seem frustrating at first, but you will come to understand them in time.

[SUBMIT.]

I would gladly suffer for a good deed. It does my heart great joy knowing I have given without expecting anything in return.

[hopsborders]

[NO. YOU'RE MEAN.]

Haha! That's a laugh! You? Doing a good deed? [Must. Change. Subject.] Nugs would be flying.

[wildside]

[GROW SOME BALLS. AND A BEARD.]

Shall I ask the dwarf to toss a few for you? It might keep you entertained.

[hopsborders]

[NO U.......YOU PROBABLY HAVE AT SOME POINT IN YOUR WICKED, WICKED LIFE.]

Oh, there we go! Put Oghren in the box. He and Zev get along pretty well. And he's better at fitting into a box compared to bulky 'o me. [AND LEAVE HIM OUT OF THIS.]

[wildside]

[WHATEVER FUELS YOUR WET DREAMS ALISTAIR]

I imagine the assassin would not mind a bulky, bulging gift, if you were to ask me.

dsadada I thought this was replied to. ;; I'm sorry!

[hopsborders]

[I DON'T HAVE DREAMS. ONLY NIGHTMARES OF AN ARCHDEMON SAYING "NYAH NYAH NYAHNYAH NYAAAH". /SOB]

[and gross he did not need that image of Oghren okay?] Right! Now that's been decided, I should be on my way. You know, Kingly things to do.

NO PROBLEM I backtag like a pro :)

[wildside]

Like pick your nose?

[Morrigan always does her best to traumatize Alistairs.]

[hopsborders]

That's royal nose to you. [Awww yeah, he's still in this fight.]

[wildside]

Ah, yes, the title. Shall I bow and shower you with gifts and praise?

[lmfao LIKE HELL SHE'S DOING THAT regardless.]

[escutcheon]

[Brb, stuffing face with popcorn in the audience.]

[hopsborders]

...

You [of all the Wardens] would do that during the Landsmeet. [He's not questioning it. He knows. 8|]

[escutcheon]

[She pauses long enough to basically give him a dismissive wave.] Been there, done that. My turn to sit around and be generally useless. [And back to catcalling like an anonymous audience member.]

Give us a remigold! Go on, then!

[hopsborders]

Your turn-?! [vdbsjada] Mind you that you- ...er, one or many of you that probably isn't you - made me the King of the Ferelden!

hope you don't mind a late tag!

[becausecheating]

Or like a Hawke, perhaps?

Not at all! Hope you don't mind the slowness :'3

[hopsborders]

[Blinks. That's what he just said- oh.] Hahaha, right. Though I wouldn't compare my mundane to Kirkwall. That's a whole different level of crazy. [A beat.] And by that, I mean her.

Don't mind in the slightest. <3

[becausecheating]

Because you know crazy from experience, do you. [Just watching Alistair dig his own hole here.]

[hopsborders]

I do, as a matter of fact. I traveled with the Hero of Ferelden, after all. [AIN'T THAT RIGHT, WARDEN(S)?]

[becausecheating]

Calling the Hero of Ferelden crazy? My, you do know how to flatter.

[hopsborders]

Crazy in the brilliant way. [Not the psychotic blood mage way.]

[becausecheating]

A quick cover, Allistair. [Still grinning like a cat who's caught a mouse.]