dear_mun | Not amused by mun's choice in fanfiction

It's got to be better than half the Internet seeming to think that I'm bottoming for Gabriel.

I don't understand why they seem so obsessed with our sex lives?

They have crushes. It's rather sweet save in the way the express it. There needs to be more alcohol and less gay porn involved.

Crushes are harmless things. This is borderline molestation.

[Come sulk with him]

I'm not arguing. Though at least you have some Lokean Pagans giving you something resembling your propers.

[Oh yes, all the sulk.]

SO you would rather go with the whole you and Thor angle? Or are you still waiting for Rogers to fall for your brilliant charm?

[Yes he is acting like this is something he really needs to think about.]

You've got to admit though, of all the mortals, pathetic mortals since I am sure that was implied in your tone, you really could have done worse. Far worse. Justin Hammer worse.

I choose neither. I'd sooner succumb to the rumors that I've lain with a horse.

[Have an indignant little snort]

Sooo, Hammer then. You know, I can get you in touch with him if you want. Not hard, and you know what? I won't even get jealous! I'm just that nice.

[Self preservation? What is this you speak of?]

[Face. Meet. Palm]

I've no time for such trivial matters, but if this 'Hammer' wants to become a minion of mine, that will suffice.

...this can work. You'll kill him out of sheer frustration and he'll find a way to completely ruin any army or empire or nefarious plan that you might have constructed out of his sheer inability.

[What. Were you expecting something different? At least he's not saying he'd be a better ride than the horse. ]

Do you want me to throw you through yet another window?

[He's grown tired of this charade. And oh yes, there's definitely a dangerous edge to his voice]

You actually encourage such nefarious slander of our names and likeness?

Oh sweetheart, you know you're kind of missing the fun part of flirting right? I mean, fine if defenestration is your idea of foreplay maybe we won't work out like your mun thinks...

[He survived once, he'll survive again. C'mon, Loki, there are more mischievous things you could do.

And yes, he is just going to keep pushing your buttons, why do you ask? He is a mildly stupid genius.]

Mmmm, of Hammer, yes. And are you surprised?

My idea of foreplay involves a lot of bruises and bite marks.

[He takes a moment to stop being pissy and flashes a wide grin. Full of sharp teeth and promises]

Not that it's any of your business.

[Except it totally is]

Oh? So it was kind of like foreplay to the foreplay then? The window, that is...

[See that? That catches his attention. Full attention, not just the 'hey, I wanna piss a god off' attention.

Because this is Tony we're talking about, he can differentiate between these types of attention.

Smirking a little, Tony leans against the wall.]

And I never asked, you merely decided to provide me with that very interesting tidbit of information. I'm not complaining, it's a great bit of information that I am sure I could put to good use under certain circumstances.

No, that was merely me trying to kill you. You should be accustomed to that already.

[You can't troll a troll, Stark. Although this God of mischief finds your antics somewhat amusing]

Only in your darkest, filthiest dreams.

[Of which Loki is sure there have been plenty and if there haven't been? Well, there will be now]

Oh, is that all? Well that's boring, I would expect something different from you at the very least.

[No, no he can't, but that doesn't mean he won't try. Because it's attention and, well, isn't that what really matters here?]

Mmm, you know me so well. I'll stick with the dreams, I mean, there is really no way reality could ever live up to them, so this is okay with me.

[Smiiiiiirk.

Goading you? Nope, not at all.]

I know exactly what you're trying to do, but you surely understand I'm not an ignorant oaf like my brother who falls for every goad and insult.

[There's a deviant and quite possibly psychotic gleam to those shining emerald eyes]

You're just a mortal. Granted a relatively intelligent one, but a mortal nonetheless. You don't know half the powers at my beck and call. I could rewire every single molecule of your body to crave my touch if I desired.

Hey, can't fault me for trying, now can you? And I know you're not like Thor, though he is rather entertainingly gullible. Destructive, but still entertaining.

[He never seemed to quite get it, but that was oddly endearing in its own right.

Tony should probably take heed and back up, but when has he ever done something that could be considered common sense? Really now.]

Mmm, I am mortal, thanks for noticing. And I'm still not sold on the whole magic thing. I mean, I get that you would want me craving you and all, but are magic roofies really the best way to go about this?

[He gives an indignant snort at the mention of his brother, almost rolling his eyes, but that was too human a gesture for this trickster to allow]

You suggest I could not gain you any other way?

[And just like that, Loki, tall and draped his green armor, swoops in on Tony. Invading his personal space with a smile that shows entirely too much of those sharp, wicked teeth]

I'd barely have to lift a finger, let alone bespell you. Know why?

[A sinfully silken whisper in his ear]

You already want me.

[You certainly wouldn't want to seem human of all things. How common.]

Well, you're creative I am sure that you could come up with something else. But that wasn't what I was saying, what I said was that there was probably a better way than magical roofies.

[Tony's initial response to Loki getting close is flee, it shoots hot and bright across his mind and he stiffens ever so slightly. He knows Loki will notice, curses himself for it, then pointedly relaxes, that arrogant ease seeping into his limbs as he brazenly cocks his head and bares a little more of his neck than is probably intelligent.

Hey, god of mischief and lies in your personal space? Why not throw all the cards on the table, not like he's going to win.]

Mmmm, I have a feeling that you're going to tell me.

[It's the whisper that gets him, really. He can't help it. As Loki pointed out, he's only human. Tony covers up the shiver with a snort.]

You should define 'want' there, because I want you to not kill me but that isn't what we're talking about is it?

[Loki's been accused many times of having a silver tongue, so he prides himself on that little telltale shiver that Tony tries so valiantly to cover up.

He barely resisted an urge to drag his teeth down that bared throat. Oh Stark, he could rip you to shreds in an instant and don't think he isn't sorely tempted to]

And perhaps you should define why you're worth so much as a second of my time?

[Valiantly, but apparently not valiantly enough. Not that Tony really minds, because if he's honest, he's damn curious.

He suspects that is the only thing that is keeping him alive too.

Tipping his head back, blue eyes regard Loki with the smallest of smiles.]

Simple: curiosity. You don't suffer fools, or simple things. You're curious about something, though I don't know what.

[Loki merely tilts his own head sideways, a pensive look on his face
]

You're intelligent, I believe we've already covered that. There's also this.

[Long fingers splay over his reactor]

If you didn't insist it was science, I would have thought it was magic .

Mmm, we have and it w-

[The fingers on his reactor still him completely, like ice water was dumped over him. He blinks at Loki, taking that little bit longer to process as he tried to force himself loose again.]

Hn, magic not so much. I don't really get magic, science and I are good friends.

[Loki could easily rip that glowing orb from his chest, and yet for some unknown reason he shows no inclination of doing so. His fingers, slightly cold to the touch , remain splayed over his reactor]

It is the power source for your suit, is it not?

[And that is something that Tony knows with far too much clarity, thank-you-very-much. The fact that Loki hasn't removed it is almost startling. Almost.]

Uh, is this classified information? Is Coulson going to taze me for telling you these things? Because, I have to say, I really hate that, my toes are numb for days which makes flying the suit a bitch and-- yeah, it is.

[It also keeps me alive goes unsaid.]

[Loki makes another indignant sound, similar to a snort]

Hardly, it's nothing I didn't already suspect.

[You're dealing with a criminal mastermind here

It is rather intriguing .

Well glowing blue light in the middle of someone's chest does kind of scream 'battery', now doesn't it?

[But Tony has enough pride to keep it there, showing it off and tempting Fate. He might live to regret that. Maybe.]

Intriguing enough for you to not want to kill me, that is intriguing.

[His grin is all teeth once again as he drops his hand away from the reactor at long last. His cool touch lingering ]

It is one of a long list I am currently making. I suppose you possess other qualities, some of which are actually tolerable.

[He licks his lips. A not-so-subtle gesture]

[The hand may be gone, but Tony still can't quite think straight with the god so close. Go figure.]

Some of which? I have been told I am quite charming, and thoughtful in- uh-

[His gaze flickers down, distracted. Damnit, Loki.]

You say you have a list?

[ Loki's an expert at being distracting. He rather enjoys Stark's reactions]

I'm building one as we speak.

Also my mun suggests we find a meme. One were I can put my considerable talents to good use.

[That he is. Tony isn't sure if he likes having these reactions, but the jury is still out on that one.

Tearing his gaze from Loki's mouth (silver-tongued god, Tony should remember that) he raises an eyebrow.]

I feel like I should be more worried by that statement that I actually am...

And that, despite the nagging voice in the back of my head that sounds remarkably like Steve saying 'no', sounds like a most interesting of ideas.

Not amused by mun's choice in fanfiction

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