Voice testing || probably forever homeless

[goddess_allure]

You have taken great pains to restore me to 'my proper gender' as you have put it, but to what end? Am I to languish within your 'headspace', along with the many others you have no time to give the proper attention they require?

If that is my fate than you have wasted both our time. My king is dead, my realm is in ruins, my people who have survived the devastation inflicted upon us by the Aesir are suffering. This is the last place I need to be trapped.

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[goddess_allure]

[Excuse her while she eye rolls at that. He took her child and taught him nothing of his true heritage.]

Only to his people. The rest of us, know better.

[sorcerous]

I'm not his.

[ Or maybe he is. Maybe he would be, if Odin wanted it. ]

[goddess_allure]

Your actions say otherwise. I am not ignorant of the love between parent and child.

Odin and Frigga are the only parents you have ever known. Of course you would love them and hate us.

[It pains her to say it, but she knows it to be true.]

If I had known then what I know now, I would have kept you by my side; in spite of the war spilling back into our realm.

[sorcerous]

[ Funny; Loki has learned to live with this grief, now. This terrible, tearing pain. So it is with numbness that he asks: ]

And what would I have become?

[goddess_allure]

Good question, one I fear we will never know the answer too. Jötunheim is a harsh and unforgiving realm, even moreso after the Casket was taken from us.

However you are a survivor. I have little doubt you would have found a way to adapt.

[sorcerous]

And I would have been yours.

[goddess_allure]

You could have still been ours, if you had not tried to destroy us.

[She lightly shakes her head with regret.]

My people will never accept you now.

[sorcerous]

May I ask again?



How many dead?

[ He is shaken, he is tired, he no longer knows what he wants. He is so very alone. ]

[goddess_allure]

[She looks pained to speak of it. Since it is up to her to find a way to save what is left of Jötunheim.]

There hasn't been a final count but several hundreds at the very least, likely even more. Many were caught in the direct path of the Bifrost, so it makes it that much harder to get a full count.

[Such devastation and for what?]

I almost wish you had slain me too. Then I would not have to bear witness to my people suffering further.

[sorcerous]

And I wish I had fallen to Jotunnheim, instead of this ... town, this place where I am.

Even if I was thrown in chains, made to undo in part what I had done. Even if I was killed for it.

[goddess_allure]

So eager for death. As if that will undo anything that you have done. Are you so foolish to think that death will release you?

I suppose you believe Hela will show you mercy if your soul ends up in her realm.

[sorcerous]

I did not ask for it.

[ Short, and sharp. No, he's not thinking this through. He's showing more remorse at her face than he would if he were alone. He doesn't know what he's faking and what's real anymore. Or what he deserves, if he deserves anything at all. ]

She wrote a story, you know. My mundane. Unfinished, as with so many others. In it, I did fall to Jotunnheim. A killer, a misguided hatchling blown too far from the nest, a terror, a -- a monster.

But a young one, and a fertile one.

The first child I've ever truly wanted to love, and she was taken from my arms. And I ... deserved it.

[goddess_allure]

[Laufey is so angry. Angry with the Allfather, angry at herself, most definitely angry with Loki for the actions he took. Many believe the Jötunns to be devoid of feelings merely because they are born of ice. Some days she wish that were true, then maybe her heart would not ache for a son that was taken away from her.

She would not have to care that her people are dying or that her realm may be beyond repair. She would not mourn the lost of her husband or worry for the welfare of her sons who still remain. Yes, her people were hardened, by the desolation of their world, but they were still people.

Thus when she speaks, the anger and pain are mixed together as his words strike deep in a way he likely had not intended. She just feels so betrayed by all of it.]

No one deserves that fate. Do you think that Odin had the right to take you from us, just because he defeated us in war? After all we were the ones to wage war on the mortals of Midgard. We would have subjugated their entire realm if Asgard had not intervened.

[sorcerous]

If he could, then perhaps he had the right.

[ Loki's voice is high, not quite at hysterical but close. ]

The Jotunn -- Thrym, was it? -- was a strong lover. Not cruel. The worst he did was coat the room with shined ice, so that no matter where I looked, I saw my reflection.

This isn't how it will go. If I fall to Midgard, as I'm meant to, instead of being twisted and kidnapped to stories, to games, to the wrong Realms -- if I fall to Midgard, I will make myself forget. I won't be the lost prince anymore. I am on the edge of learning true cruelty, and how I wish I could discard the rest.

[goddess_allure]

Thrym is not what any of us would call a romantic. He has a claim to the throne. I would be thoroughly surprised if he did not kill you because the blood of Laufey follows through your veins.

[It's strange to watch this wayward son, fall to pieces right before her very eyes. There's a maternal instinct to comfort him, but her mind knows better than to try. He's volatile, she knows this, but still she does feel something for him other than anger and loathing.]

What are you afraid of, Loki?

[sorcerous]

[ That explains it, then. Why Thrym was so eager to be the father of a possible heir to the throne. Why he kept Loki safe, if locked away.

At the question, he tenses, all over. A curt shiver. ]

What I want, I fear, in equal measure. What I love, I hate, in equal measure.

[goddess_allure]

[Ever the contradiction, truly what had the Aesir done by raising a Jötunn as if he were one of them for all these centuries. It makes her hold the Allfather in further contempt.]

And why is this so?

[sorcerous]

Because I have been ruined.

[goddess_allure]

The bulk of the damage you have inflicted yourself, surely you must know that.

[sorcerous]

No.

[goddess_allure]

So is it just easier for you to place the blame on Odin and myself then, for all the decisions you have made that have brought you thus far?

[sorcerous]

And what else could I have done? Thor forced my hand with his mortal woman, and Odin forced my hand with his absence. What could I be but King? What could I do but prove I had the strength and the right to the throne?

[goddess_allure]

Ah yes, murder one father over the body another father and wipe out an entire realm, both logical courses of action. Why would anyone question the flaws in your plans?

[Sarcasm. Laufey has plenty of it.]

[sorcerous]

And how close did it come? If Thor hadn't come back...

[goddess_allure]

To destroy an entire realm would destroy the balance of the other eight realms. Wiping out the people is a different matter.

If it were so simple to destroy another realm without repercussions for everyone else, do you truly think none of us would have tried it long before?

You may have your wish before long, since the damage is already done. Jötunheim is unstable now and without the Casket there is no real hope of repair.