On angsty fanfic...

[changedbywar]

W-why would you read something like that?

WHY WOULD ANYONE POST SOMETHING LIKE THAT?!

[All of the teary eyes and pouty faces.]

Comments

[viraltentacles]

[Ugh, pouty-teary faces are not appreciated.]

The real question is why wouldn't they?

[changedbywar]

Because it's sad. Like, it makes the baby Jesus cry level of sad! [Ugh. Sexy jerk! Now she's wiping the tears away and just frowning.]

[viraltentacles]

That doesn't sound very sad. [And he knows sad, okay.]

[changedbywar]

Take my word for it! Like, little kids and dying promises and parental abandonment and all that shit that makes a great Hallmark Channel movie. That kind of sad.

[viraltentacles]

That sounds extremely dull.

[brb_timefortea]

Emily...

[She sighs.]

Do you want to go eat some hamburgers? [The things she does to cheer you up, brat.]

[changedbywar]

[That at least stops the pouting. Though she still has tears in her eyes.

Here! Hug for you, sis!] Thank you~

[brb_timefortea]

[She awkwardly pats her on the head.]

There there. [Alice never has been good at comforting people. Far too emotional and messy for her.]

[changedbywar]

[What are you talking about? Emily thinks you did a fine job when you were around while she was little. She considers very emotionally open and stable...

It just may also be the cause of her "sexually liberated" nature, and her sheer stubbornness.]

You can be a pretty awesome sister sometimes.

[brb_timefortea]

You're all right for a brat sometimes, Emily.

[And that's the closest to affection that Emily's going to get other than hamburgers right now.]

[keepscalm]

I've been instructed to extend my salutations to you, presuming you are indeed the girl America spoke of.

[The journal names were similar enough, and he doesn't see any other female Americas about...

He crosses his arms with a huff.] Not that I entertained any particular desire to do so of my own accord. [His mun made him do it! No, really!]

[changedbywar]

I-i'm Emily. H-hi.

[Stiff upper lip! Chin up! He's not going to dote like Alice after all.

But OMG that fanfic she read! She goes to his side and tugs on his jacket.]

I hate tragic romances.

[keepscalm]

Arthur. Charmed.

[...why is she tugging at him. No stop that's kind of cute. And ugh romance stories hit him right in the gut.

Still, he stays composed.] Tragic romances are the most realistic ones, you know. It's why they're so commonly found in writing. People write what they know.

[changedbywar]

No you're not. I'm a mess right now.

[She raises her arm up to wipe her eyes and nose on her jacket sleeve, still latched to his jacket. In her normal mode, she'd be her usual tarty, teasing self. Being sad ruins that.] I know! But the world is sad enough. Romance needs to be an escape. Someplace where men aren't gonna let you down.

[Talking from experience there, Emily?]

[keepscalm]

[Ugh his gentleman reflexes are conflicting with his America reflexes! This is why that genderbend world unnerves him so much, he's socially awkward enough as it is.

He clears his throat and rummages in his shirt pocket. A good gentleman always carries a neatly-folded handkerchief. The cloth is then offered to Emily while England averts his eyes.] It's very poor etiquette to wipe your face with your sleeve.

[The saddest part is, he knows the feeling.] Well, then it would hardly be easily related to, and that's half of what makes good fiction. [Oops he's going all literature and language snob on this conversation. Sorry Emily.]

[changedbywar]

[She thinks a moment and finally takes the little piece of cloth and finishes wiping her face.] I think your success with Al's etiquette should give you a good idea of how well Alice did with me.

Dude...it's just...I think you can have happily ever after and still relate. Emotions are a big part of relating. So if the character has human feelings, you can still understand and enjoy a piece.