dear_mun | Canon: Maiden Rose

Ships can't sail, if you sink'em at the port. Give it some faith.

And patience. Yes, I know as much.

[ Taki does his best not to scowl. ]

Even if it remains far easier said than done.

So take a book. Take a smoke. Take a drink. Take something.

Distractions don't serve as a proper salve for all troubles.

[ Klaus should know- Some ailments are far grander in magnitude than what can fit and be drowned into a bottle, book or pile of ash. Those methods can be surprisingly ineffective; No matter how well written the novel may be, or how diligently one attempts to force attention elsewhere.

Still. It might not be on the same level of refinement as classical literature, but the company may edge closer to a cure for his concern than the written word. ]

Sometimes the trouble's the distraction.

[ Or minor inconveniences masking a greater wrong. ]

Derailing a person from what, exactly?
Indulging in further distractions of their choosing?

[ Taki's words border on the sarcastic; so very near to condescending. They might be mellow-toned enough to escape notice- had this conversation been held with any other man. ]

And by that philosophy, strife is merely a consequence of being focused upon something. Too intently or honestly.

[ The only way Taki knows how to live. ]

Ain't that how it is?

[ And maybe he drawls out every word because to tease out Taki's impatience, because he'll be damned if he'll take being treated like a rookie on his first raid. ]

You want something real bad, you get possessive. You bite when others come too close to it. You start defending it. Start chewing out everyone else so they can't get one step near. Then they see you wanting it, and they start craving. They get the desire for it. Itch they can't scratch. Itch only a war or two can scratch. You tell me that's not why we're fighting for a palm's worth of land, Taki Reizen: you tell me it's not cause some man wants it, and some others started wanting it more.

You'd paint it in that ugly light, would you?

[ His mouth becomes a thin white line; one pressed and terse at the thought that he throws his men on the alter of sacrifice just for the aim of simple and mindless possession. ]

As if there is only 'want' or the lack of it; without any other motivations or shades of grey which both complicate or add depth to the endeavor.

You make it sound pretty. You boys in Strategy always make it sound pretty.

[ And that's the crux of it, the unfortunate distinction between commander and layman, and Klaus' own position that struggles to bridge the two. Officers like Taki think in ideas, ideals. And men die. ]

It's not pretty.

I never alluded to any beauty in the matter of men dying for a cause in battle. There may be reasons and a greater purpose for their sacrifice than two forces squabbling over territory they wish to mark; but that does not mean I am deluded nor idealistic enough to romanticize war or it's cost.

Don't pretend to know what I do and do not think when the whim strikes you to make baseless accusations.

[ A measured pause. Cute. Taki Reizen took too much pleasure from being cute at the right times. This was the sort of force, of anger to which he felt no shame in belonging.]

...my bad, master.

No. The failing is on my part.

[ Funny how the smugness lingers longer and stays with him like a bad aftertaste far worse than straightforward accusation ever could. ]

My mistake was giving you even a moment's satisfaction in knowing your words bore under my skin.
I appreciate the reminder to keep my guard where it belongs, and to take your words with nothing more than a grain of salt.

[ That gives a better sting than a strike would. He pulls away as if beaten. ]

We don't see eye to eye on one matter. Doesn't mean I lie to you.

[ Some of the time. ]

Doesn't mean I prowl.

[ Most of the time. ]

Doesn't mean I don't want you to be right.

[ Always. ]

[ Klaus helped sharpened this blade; more than once he delighted in it's ferocity. It's unfair of the man to seem shocked when he's the one to feel the bite of it. Though the worst injustice rests in how prone Taki is to want to mend the residual sting, afterward. So unkind is that desire to reach out a comforting hand, vulnerable and so easily bitten, that he'd rather twist the end in deep and hold it there through the hurt. Cut the nose to spite the face. ]

Where, in any of my words, did I ask you to profess those sort of oaths to me?

Firstly, whether you lie or speak only the most solemn truths makes little difference. Serve your duties and keep your dishonesty to words alone in the place of betrayal to the Division.

As for your opinion- I don't need your well wishes to know what I do is right. I'm your commander. You needn't agree with me so long as you follow.

Lastly.

Your prowling habits are the very least of my concerns, Captain.

[ It bites. It cuts. And it cauterizes.

In the aftermath, he's left sorely wanting for a cigarette - his hand finds itself arrested on the inside of his coat, then fallen. No, Taki'd forbidden smokes for the while.

But his glance steels. Two of this accusations he can swallow. The third, no. ]

If you really have it in your hollow head that I'd betray the Division, you'd better hurry up, keep your word to put me down with your own sword, sir.

[ The words which follow are a sad sort of consolation.]

My instructions are guidelines meant for every solider to abide by. They are neither condemnation nor tailor-made rules for some selected and precious few to follow.

If you were suspected of disloyalty I would not ask that you show me fealty.

[ A cruel and roundabout way of setting Klaus free from suspicion.]

Your thorns are prickly today.

[ Like a flower in bloom.

And he supposes this is not the sort of comment easily forgiven of a man by his superior. ]

[ It's a defensive maneuver, of course. Necessary or not, it feels safer to not spare the rod and let the other man think himself spoiled. Not so soon after Klaus' fresh reminder of how easily he can slip past Taki's defenses and rouse him to irrational reaction. Because those two concepts are dangerous together- and far worse when Klaus himself is paired with the mix. ]

My barbs aren't hidden, nor do I pretend they don't exist.
Don't ask for my apology should you get scratched, testing out their strength.

[ Isn't this the preferred exchange? Blows for blows, spite for spite. Gradually compounding enough bitterness to last until the next time; when the pair can tear into one another and forge fresh scars anew. ]

Haven't asked you for anything, have I?

[ Only Taki's presence, heart, body, soul, guidance, friendship, command, love.

Only everything the man has to give.

A thin smile. ]

You never ask.

[No. Klaus bypasses all such pleasantries and ignores the bartering which requests typically must undergo. Yet this comes only after long droughts of inaction; stretches of time spent denying himself while quietly allowing the particular want to fester. That hunger has to build up and boil over; only then does he simply take.

But like a drowning man reaching frantically for just one more gasp of air to fill his lungs, the act of stealing from Taki holds almost a pitiable note. Perhaps because the commander knows he's the very one who forces Klaus' head underwater.

It's Taki's hands, no others, who have stripped his Knight of all things a man needs to set his eyes upon. The pride of his homeland. The hope of siring family to carry on both his name and legacy. A future of comfortable contentment. And such heartfelt joy which can only be discovered within the pursuit of romance and matrimony.

It's not the most slighted trade if Klaus rips away his own demands in exchange for every sacrifice Taki demands of him. Klaus gives enough. The memory of every puncture wound, tattered scar and ugly burn the man wears refuses to let the commander forget such a fact.]

That much is true.

[ Taking, taking, taking. Wanting, wanting, wanting. Ripping, ripping, ripping.

Hard life for a dog, jaws clenched, tense, waiting. Hard lives beat being put down.

But that's unimportant. Taki's doing that thing again - that thing when the world's compact, finite and tangible, and all heavy his shoulders. ]

You're thinking too much. I can tell by the lines on your face. You've got the look of a sergeant handing out disciplinary punishment to the rookies for misbehaviour.

[ Plan A: distract Taki with trivial questions; sure. Why not. ]

What's the worst you've ever given a cadet, commander?

[His mouth pulls thin again as the mind instantly dredges up those recollections, all without care as to his own want or preference.

Though Taki had known of far more horrific reprimands, given out at the whim of others whom commanded armies, even his version of discipline gave little solace. Men had pride. Self worth. Ego. And a fragility which ran through all three, which could be seen when they were chastised. When their noses were rubbed in each failings and mistake. Even if his hand was even and fair, lighter than he ought to have been at times, it still had to land a proverbial blow when the time called for it.]

I take little pleasure in teaching a hard lesson, Klaus. Even less in turning it into gossip, where the hope of something becoming learned isn't present.

[In the place of an ability to meet Klaus' eyes, his gaze unconsciously wanders. It only stills upon where he knows there are marks bearing the wrath of a hard-swung crop. Neither a cadet nor the victim of Taki's wrath, those wounds still lead him to feel responsible.]

Of all things, why does that interest you?

[ Because it's part of your life -- but somehow that feels too maudlin to say.

He shrugs. ]

...just curious. Me, I gave a boy a week of kitchen duty once. Caught him playing with his knife. That damned stupid game: put your hand down, spread your fingers, thrust your knife in the spaces between'em fast. Faster. It's a cheap thrill. Easy as all hell to cut something off.

[ Klaus should know, he's played it - but that conveniently doesn't earn a mention now. ]

Seven days of peeling potatoes, don't think he ever looked at a knife and felt like playing again. Served him right.

[ Taki will never be certain what earns him these sudden and almost accidental seats, front and center row, to take part in peering into brief passages of Klaus' life. Everything personal and private that unfolds when Taki's eyes are elsewhere. Still, when thrown into the role of spectator, he knows well enough to take notice of the invitation and appreciate the novelty of such rare intimacy. ]

That doesn't sound unjust.

[ Paternal, if anything. Some men, he knew, encouraged the reckless and physical extremes in the younger ranks. Impressionable youth, a sense of immortality and bravado could lead a boy to show off in the worst way. There had been accidents before. So, nipping such a senseless bit of entertainment in the bud seemed more than reasonable. If not a little protective, considering the source. ]

You look out for them, don't you?

[ It almost seems wrong, even accusatory, to pin Klaus with such a direct inquisition which assumes so much of his character. But after the incident with the backup soldier Yamshita- his attention in that direction would make sense. ]

[ He winces almost imperceptibly at Taki's verdict - that didn't sound unjust, did it? And did the good commander generally expect injustice of Klaus, then? Towards his own men, to think? Charming.

Charming enough to embitter him even before a very innocent question. ]

They aren't mine to look after.

You made the right decision.

[ Taki clarifies. Because the lapse from cordial conversation to something tersely ground out isn't subtle enough to slip under Taki's radar. He'll let slide the belligerent twist of mood for now. Poor phrasing could demoralize any man, and Klaus was no exception. ]

Yes, but that generally doesn't matter. Concern exists and finds itself placed naturally, without the need of direct maneuvering.

[ Concern exists. Concern existed without direction, intent, motive. Concern existed because it couldn't be helped.

And if Taki's concern followed that pattern, so could his affection. ]

Thanks for approving, commander. Swell of you.

I didn't say your actions deserved some condescending pat on the head.

Good decisions, those which are well-thought out, successful and serve their intended purpose don't require that any other feel satisfaction on behalf of them. Which is why I never suggested that it pleased me. That's irrelevant.

You did something commendable and fair in your station. Such behavior deserves sincere acknowledgment, not superficial pleasantry or displays of contentment from your superiors.

However, if it offends you so terribly that I give you any manner praise- then I shouldn't waste my breath on it.

And I gave you some thanks, didn't I, Taki? Hell's wrong with them?

[ Everything, and he's aware of it. He chuckles, mimicking. ]

If they it offend you so terribly that I show any manner of gratitude, then I shan't waste my breath on it.

I have no use for your pathetic version of 'gratitude'. I can assure you that it's not wished for or wanted.

Much like your present company.

...you don't mean that.

[ No. He doesn't. Not in the slightest. But showing Klaus the door, so to speak, was his last ditch effort to grasp for an advantage in this verbal tug of war.

How does one revoke such a claim without losing their footing and credibility? ]

What makes you so certain?

Cause it would trump whatever disciplinary action you've given a cadet, if you did. And it would be hella unjust.

[ It's a far cry from any answer he would have rather gotten from Klaus, but one that's hard to deny even still. ]

You're not a cadet.
Nor does any discipline seem to make an impression.

[ ...And since when have I ever been fair to you, before? Though, despite that notion- he has yet to follow through with asking Klaus to leave. ]

[ The line of his mouth stills - stiffens; then eases into a lazy smile. ]

Feel like disciplining me now? I'd stand still for you. Get on my knees for it. Beg a little. How's that?

Is that what you want?

[ If the aim was to rattle him- Klaus succeeds with shocking efficiency. The imagery parallels with too much recent history; from a suffocating shower to a blood-strewn interrogation scene. It's too soon and comes with such vivid clarity that no sense of comfort can be maintained. ]

Another reason to harbor all this contempt you have towards me?

I want...

[ And his lips curl with daring, because he's aware of how crude this is, how wrong, how indecent - ]

I want you to do with me whatever gives you satisfaction.

....

[ The picture of his face, locked in a quick mix of sheer astonishment and abject horror, must be a thoroughly amusing to the the other man. Taki should be used to this. Should. But the unflinching suggestion that's thrown out into the air between them, cast with neither apology or restraint? It crashes over him with the same potent sense of shame such cruel innuendo never fails to deliver. ]

Have you absolutely no sense of decency at all?!

[ He can't begin to fathom the root of these lascivious taunts. That snide and knowing twist of Klaus' mouth. Why the other savors this particular kind of misery their constant misunderstanding spawns. Even still- There's a pattern here. Taki knows it. But any clues get muddled up in all the confusion; amidst the perpetual swing of hot and cold, cordial and tumultuous. The never ending storm between them makes it hopeless to even try translating these moments into anything comprehensible. ]

[ He almost wants to shake his head; gives in, inevitably.

This man's paranoia was never without cause - Klaus had certainly given plenty - and dissuading it would take... something close to effort. ]

...relax, Taki Reizen. Could be - chess, right? You like that? Course you do. You can take your pleasure off a damned board. And your only dishonour's gonna be how hard I plan to take every last one of your pieces.

[ Like Taki's defenses, eroding with time. Slowly. Surely. Every last one. ]

....

[ Taki's no man's fool. Despite the flawless back-peddling on Klaus' part- the way the other man's mouth had twisted, curled up with such unabashed delight; it spoke volumes upon what was on his Captain's mind. All which had been deftly left unspoken. Cleverly silenced. Yet it remained pointed out, described in every exquisite detail, all outside words themselves.

Taunting. Teasing. Baiting him within an inch of his thread-bare patience. All before Klaus reaped the rewards and drank in his own satisfaction from Taki's emotional defeat. Every single time.

No matter. He's a commander. A leader of men. The least he can do is breathe and pretend a single mention from moments before hadn't turned such a prideful man into a sputtering youth; one with no further sense of control than two clenched fists portray. ]

There's a wooden case near my desk...

[ A vague gesture guides Klaus towards where the Chess pieces themselves were tucked away in their antiqued and lacquered wooden box. It was likely a waste of energy. He wouldn't have been shocked if Klaus had found the item without a hint of instruction- Taki's world, much like the web of his thoughts, seemed to be known too easily by the other. Rummaged through. Studied. Examined with a surgeon's eye, roaming over every inch.

In the meantime he opens a window. Lets the night air rush in and tries to put his back to Klaus as composure sets in again- slowly.]

[ He's a good dog, knows his place. Fetches the board and spreads it on the nearest table, pieces suffocating in his overly large hands as he sets them down. ]

Taki. Take white.

[ Seems appropriate for the higher ranking between them to have the privilege of the first move; seems wise to have even one round's furtive insight into the passion or restraint with which Taki would play the game; seems fucking hilarious that Taki's colour always spells indomitable purity. ]

If I catch you throwing me the match, you'll feel on your own skin the kind of disciplinary action I have it in me to give rookies.

[ There's a chair - of course the master will take it - but he sees no need to bring a second, half-sits himself on the table's side in an overly familiar gesture. It's not as if Taki's likely to let the game go unwon long enough for Klaus to need greater comfort. ]

Canon: Maiden Rose

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