.... I have no excuse. Canon: The Amanda Show

[prank_calls]

[Boop boop, boopboopboop.]

[Riiiiing riiiiing! Riiiiing riiiiing!]

[A phone. Near you. It is ringing. Care to answer?]

Comments

[partyinurattic]

[ hi. you reached a cursed house in Japan. have vague static noises followed by a chilling croak. ]

[thneed_ler]

[Click.]

...Yyyyello?

[prank_calls]

Hello, this is Valerie Poofendefferhousen.

I'm selling lemon scented butt soap. I have you written down for an order of 5,000 bars of butt soap.

[prank_calls]

Hello, this is Penny Farbledoobin.

How may I help you?

[thneed_ler]

Penny Farb-?

I think you have the wrong number.

[partyinurattic]

[ wat.

have another croak. that might mean anything from 'no' to 'you're next' in grudge-speak. ]

[prank_calls]

You're mistaken, you have the wrong number.

Please tickle yourself, sir.

[prank_calls]

[Just going on like this is totally natural.]

We also have strawberry butt soap.

I have just doubled your lemon scented butt soap order. You can expect ten thousand bars of butt soup to be delivered.

[checkoutthesedecks]

...

[Should he answer it or...?


You know what, screw it, he'll answer it in his half-dazed state.]

Yo.

[youhavethewrongnumber]

Hello?

[one_doesnt_simply_walk]

[ ... ]

Hello?

[prank_calls]

Hello, this is Mrs. Hecklepinkenstein.

When would you like me to deliver your fireproof underpants?

[checkoutthesedecks]

Uhhh...I'm not wearing anything? Did I call or did you call?

[Goddamn what is phones.]

.... I love you

[prank_calls]

Yes, hello ma'am, I'm Bernice Fargletanker and I'm creating a survey on how man pickles you have in your pants.

[prank_calls]

Yes, hello. This is your tail. Please stop sitting on me.

sob I just had to do this

[youhavethewrongnumber]

M'am? No, I'm not a m'am, I'm a...I'm a man! I'm Mr. Oldman! I'm a mister!

And I don't even like pickles! I wouldn't store them in my pants or elsewhere! What is this?!

[prank_calls]

[Hey, she's the one that asks questions. Completely disregarding what you said.]

RUN THERE'S AN UMBRELLA BEHIND YOU.

[minor_setback]

[Evil the Cat takes his phone out of hammerspace and responds.]

Greetings. To what do I owe the pleasure of this phonecall to?

oh god, I'm dying XD

[prank_calls]

No need to get hysterical ma'am.

Please eat your shorts.

[thneed_ler]

But - I didn't call, you did.

...What for?

me too asdfhj

[youhavethewrongnumber]

But I'm not hysterical! I'm a man! A MAN! I know they are similar sounding words, but I'm of the MALE PERSUASION and I am MISTER OLDMAN and I am NOT a woman! I don't understand!

But you can't even eat shorts! Hello? Who is this? YOU HAVE THE WRONG NUMBER!

[prank_calls]

Hello, I'm from the Fun Time Asparagusjuice Factory.

I need to know what time to deliver your twelve thousand gallons of asparagus juice.

[commanderbadass]

[Cue manly gruff voice answering the phone.]

Temp agency, Commander speakin'.

[checkoutthesedecks]

DUDE I'M NOT OUTSIDE!

[prank_calls]

You're wasting time.

The entire world depends on you tickling yourself.