muse complains while mun tentatively cast-searches

[thneed_ler]

 You're not gonna die, mun.

Just do your homework, get some real food in you (no more chocolate, not that seeing you collapse into peals of hyperactive laughter every five minutes isn't hilarious) and stop freakin' out on me.

I know, I know, you think it'd be easier with someone else there. Well, what if I don't want them there? They don't want to talk to me, and I don't want to talk to them. Not the kid (and he's from the future anyway, how would that even work?) and NOT Moustache. Definitely not him.

Stop hoping. I don't want the same things as you do. Deal. With it.

And - for heck's sake, mun, play me sassier! Jazz things up a bit!

Comments

PLEASE FORGIVE ME

[heardyoucall]

You. It's your fault.

My mundane has had the music from that blasted film you star in on repeat for days.

[He cocks his gun.]

FORGIVEN. my muses feel the same way i'm sure

[thneed_ler]

Uh, hey, I-

WHOA WHOAWHOAWHOA PUT THAT THING AWAY I'M NOT LOOKING FOR ANY TROUBLE [FLAIL FLAIL FLAIL and then he collapses on the floor good job there Once-ler.]

Excellent

[heardyoucall]

Henh henh... this must be my lucky day...

[He'll just aim it at you. He would never actually shoot you, but it's tempting as hell to loose a few into the ground next to your head as revenge for having to hear "The Once-ler's Traveling Madness (Original Demo)" for over an hour on repeat.]

Re: Excellent

[thneed_ler]

Really? Bec-because I'm getting sure it's definitely not mine! What did I ever do to you!?

[Accusatory frown. Plus terror. He's hasn't exactly drawn the long straw here either - after several days of Nobody Needs A Thneed (Original Demo) the Once-ler can be forgiven for starting to think it's an attempt at subliminal messaging. Hasn't stopped him trying to hand them out to strangers, though.]

Re: Excellent

[heardyoucall]

What did you do to me? Let's see.

You sang about having a cramp in your back and your right ass-cheek, asking if you were annoying, about worms and little critters using your bones for furniture, about making a thneed, whatever the hell that is...

And it was apparently so catchy my mundane decided to play it for hours on end.

That is what you did.

1/2

[thneed_ler]

Ooooohhhhh. That.

Wait.

Someone was recording that!? Oh, man...

Not my best moments, okay. We'd been on the road for, what, three months?

2/2

[thneed_ler]

...It's catchy?

[heardyoucall]

[The gun goes away. Instead, Sanzo brandishes his enormous paper fan, the harisen, and proceeds to attempt to whack you heavily with it.]

It's STUPID!

[thneed_ler]

[Reels for a moment and then clutches his head. His hat has fallen off, and he scrabbles for it with his free hand.]

OW! What's your problem, man?

[heardyoucall]

No problem.

[He's perfectly fine now that's he's whacked you.]

[thneed_ler]

[Quickly scrambles to his feet. And... oh okay he's a lot taller than this guy, as usual. Felt kinda weird down on the floor there.]

Wrong. Big problem. You can't just go around - hitting people!

[heardyoucall]

Ah, really?

[He busy fishing out a cigarette.]

[thneed_ler]

Yeah, really! That hurt!

A little.

Okay, you know what, whatever. Go - be a cool dude somewhere else! [He is maybe a little bit proud of the word "dude".]

[heardyoucall]

Look, I already explained why I punished you.

Stop making addictive music.

[This is perfectly logical, isn't it? Not really, Sanzo.]

[thneed_ler]

Why should I be punished for that!?

Look, you can at least see how I could take that as a compliment, right?

[heardyoucall]

Possibly----all right, what the hell is a Thneed, anyway?

[Blame "Everybody Needs a Thneed (feat. The Lorax Singers)" this time. Poor Sanzo.]

[thneed_ler]

[Now this he's got to smile at.] Ah. Now you're asking the right questions, Mr. Trigger-happy.

This - [whips out a pink thing that looks like furry pyjamas knitted by a drunk spider] - is a thneed. It's made from all-natural micro-fibres, can be used to do the job of a thousand other products, and looks great no matter how you wear it.

Everybody needs one.

[heardyoucall]

...

[What the hell?]

How could this possibly do more than look like a grandmother's slow descent into madness?

[thneed_ler]

Hey, this thing is a genius invention, okay? Just because you didn't come up with it.

[heardyoucall]

I'm guess Alzheimer's patients everywhere are thankful to be employed to make them for you, then.

[He still doesn't get what it does.]

[thneed_ler]

I made this mys-!

[Stare. Raises both hands in a despairing shrug.]

Your loss. [Slings the thneed over his shoulder, dusts himself down and turns to stroll away with his nose in the air.]

[heardyoucall]

You still haven't told me even one of its uses.

For someone trying to sell these, you aren't doing much.

[thneed_ler]

[The Once-ler keeps walking, but twists his upper body round just long enough to throw it at your head. That's... not one of its intended uses, but admittedly he's not a bad shot.]

Figure it out yourself!

[heardyoucall]

[Apparently one of the best uses is muffling asshole monks. Sanzo's now trying to figure out how the hell to get it off of his head. Good job there, Once-ler!]

[vixensaint]

You? Sassy? Tell me you're joking.