Practice threading for Distant Skies!

[jurisimpudent]

I'll not waste my breath pointing out the utter idiocy of your plans to join this game; such words are, to my way of thinking, trite by virtue of their inevitability. Yes, you - like nearly everyone else - have comparatively limited time. And, of course, you wish to play the martyr over this, agonize and complain, so that others will know just how busy and important you are. I'm not going to enable such self-indulgent behavior.

Rather, I'll merely tell you this: if you think you're so utterly and terribly busy, if you think that you've so little time, then don't waste it further with whining. Instead, make it count. I've no use for someone who will dither rather than be a productive member of society.

Comments

[jurisimpudent]

I'm sure it's only a matter of time before you see how I win my damned cases, you - fool -

[atrumcanis]

No, please, call me by my surname, would you. Parasite. Are you inviting me to your court case?

[jurisimpudent]

I'm saying you're clearly a criminal in the making!

[atrumcanis]

Am I! That's the first I've heard of such a thing--or is it the three-hundredth and first? I've never had a head for numbers. Although I'm quite disappointed it isn't an invitation. We could be together all the sooner.

[jurisimpudent]

Would you care for an invitation? I could certainly arrange something. Just so you can see what awaits you.

[atrumcanis]

Sorry--what's your name again?

[jurisimpudent]

Miles Edgeworth.

[atrumcanis]

[He--very quickly, but (purposefully) not very well--smothers a laugh.]

[jurisimpudent]

...What?

[atrumcanis]

Oh, nothing! Nothing, nothing at all--it's just that I've never been out with a Miles before, it's terribly exciting. [He puts on a falsetto, just for the occasion, presses his hands to his chest--there's even a bit of eyelash fluttering.] Be still, my heart.

[jurisimpudent]

...What - what are you going on about? This isn't "going out," this - You mean to say you've never "met" one before.

[atrumcanis]

Oh, but I have. None of them have ever invited me to such an intimate setting, is all.

[jurisimpudent]

There's nothing intimate about a courtroom!

[atrumcanis]

It's very intimate. Very, very intimate. All those close benches, knees knocking underneath tables and things--impassioned arguments, chests heaving, getting right in each other's faces--oooh, Miles, ooh, yeah, it's terribly intimate. You can't tell me otherwise.

[jurisimpudent]

Stop - Stop profaning the court!

[atrumcanis]

Never! With God as my witness, I will never stop profaning the court!

Anyway, you can only profane that which wants to be profaned. I'm willing to wager dear Lady Justice would like a bit of profaning after all these lonely years, if you know what I mean.

[jurisimpudent]

I'm quite certain I do not, Parasite!

[atrumcanis]

Really? Really! Your dad never gave you the old instructional--? No? Well, all right, then it falls to me, very well: by profaning I here mean having it off with her, i.e., bit of the slap and tickle, or perhaps bending her over and giving it to her, which you can also say as--

[jurisimpudent]

Stop!

[atrumcanis]

You'll have to learn it someday, Miles darling, why not get it done with now?

[jurisimpudent]

I can't - I can't hear you! I'm not listening!

[atrumcanis]

That's all right, I'm quite patient. I can wait until you're listening again, no worries.

[jurisimpudent]

I will never be listening again! Ever! So do me a favor and hold your accursed breath.

[atrumcanis]

[He waits a moment--a moment longer, and then:]

Are you listening now?

[jurisimpudent]

[LA LA LA LA.]