voicetesting!

[pretendtosleep]

So is this like a diary? If it is, does that mean I have to keep track of all the dreams where Abed is dinosaur trying to eat me and Annie's Boobs is the president? Because that will probably take at least three more of these.

And if this is a dream, do I get free burritos? And if these are dream burritos, do they still come with hot sauce packets? And can I eat the hot sauce packets in the entirety, or do I have to wait until my mouth stops burning like in real life?

[ he sits, arms folded over chest and eyebrows raised. Your move, imaginary friend ]

Comments

[theworst]

Troy, you do realize how demeaning that is, right? Why not have dreams about Annie becoming president instead of making it all about Annie's Boobs? You know there is a person there - and I'm fully aware you could be talking about the monkey too, which doesn't make it any better. Dreams are for making things better, not for propagating the oppression that's all ready taking place every day in what we allegedly call reality.

[pretendtosleep]

-boobs can become president without people?

[theworst]

Don't ask me, it's your dreams.

But! The more important point is whether it's monkeys or boobs, you're still demeaning Annie as a woman and a human being. How would you like it if I named my cat Troy's Butt and made him king of the universe?

[pretendtosleep]

No, because that's the coolest name for a cat ever.


Unless it was a fat cat. Then I'm buying my jeans a size smaller next time.

[theworst]

Maybe, but cool names aside we still have to do something about positive female representation in your dreams. Nearly half our study group is female and I'm only hearing about dino-Abed and Annie's Boobs. Where is the real Annie or Shirley or me?

[a beat] Not that I care about being in yours or anyone's dreams. I mean, that's totally lame.

[pretendtosleep]

[ his eyes widen slightly ]

Um. Nice- [ says the first thing he sees ]- tables we're having today. They're so. Four-legged.

Don't you just love tables? You can put your books on them. And they stay still. And they can be flipped on their sides for barricades. And you can look at them all day without thinking about that one weird dream with the legos...

Yeah.

Tables.

1/2

[theworst]

[her eyes widen too, and then uneasy nervous forced laughter]

Haha, yeah, those tables. They sure are hard - wooden - solid. They're solid. Totally solid and great for studying and writing and -

2/2

[theworst]

[she stops, processing everything he just said]

Legos? That is code, right?

Re: 2/2

[pretendtosleep]

[ he opens a book on the table and slams it shut ]

No. Unless that code is code for how awesome legos are and not about anyone forgetting to wear pants or eating nana's big hat.

[theworst]

You know, we just started covering dream analysis in my psych class. And seeing as you have such [she struggles to find the right word for a minute, and then smiles, gesturing a hand towards him] memorable dreams it might really benefit you to talk about them with a mental artist - or a friend that's a student of the mental arts - and try to figure out the real deeper meaning behind those legos and dinoAbeds and Annie's Boobs.

[Britta puts a hand on Troy's wrist and there is a hopeful smile, because come on, she wants to analyze you real bad, Troy.]

[selfaware]

What kind of dinosaur?

[pretendtosleep]

That one in Jurassic Park that kept trying to eat everyone in the kitchen.

[bedheaded]

Great work. That'll get you where you want. [Yup, he's texting. Nope, he's only about %10 aware of what is actually going on.]