Homeless | Canon is Umbrella Academy

[oldmanfive]

You are really thinking too hard on my lack of love life. I know I miss Dolores but that doesn't mean I'm ready to try getting involved with someone else. Besides who would even be interested considering I still look like a kid? I'm not even sure I would be remotely interested in someone who could get passed my appearance.

Really stop thinking about this! I'm perfectly fine just looking out for my family. You've seen the kind of troublemakers they are, it is a full time job making sure they don't get their idiotic selves killed!





(Cross posted to dear_player)

Comments

[godiegogo]

Hey, we’re not that bad!

[oldmanfive]

Oh please! You of all people have the least room to argue that!

[ He hasn't forgotten about all the JFK nonsense or the Lila business! ]

[godiegogo]

I had good reasons to do what I did, Five!

[NO NONSENSE OR BUSINESS THERE- okay maybe some business, but no nonsense! Only sense!]

[oldmanfive]

Your definition of the term 'good reason' is vastly different from my own, Diego. Running around obsessed with saving JFK was not a 'good reason' for half the crap you pulled!

[ You're right it was ALL nonsense! ]

[godiegogo]

[a fraternal glare, which is somehow even less impressive given Five's physically so much smaller and so intimidation should be EASY]

Sometimes you gotta break some eggs. You know what it's like. Not as though everything you've done has been by the book!

[NOW THAT'S JUST UNFAIR]

[oldmanfive]

[ Incredulous glare goes here, since Diego did not just say that to him! ]

Are you kidding me right now?! I was trying to avoid a goddamn apocalypse to save you and the rest of our siblings I might add! Meanwhile you almost helped cause one by trying to save JFK!

[ UNFAIR IS SOMEONE'S INABILITY TO LISTEN TO REASON! ]

[godiegogo]

Y-yeah, you did, but you also dumped me in an institution for about a zillion years, back in the past! And saving JFK would've made the world a better place!

[a facial grumble back at Five because he knows this is a fight he's not gonna win]

[oldmanfive]

You are not blaming me for that! You're the one who was stalking Lee Harvey Oswald, when you got yourself committed! The only reason I didn't break you out of the hospital like I was originally intending to do was because you were being cuckoo for cocoa puffs!

[ Considering none of the rest of their siblings got themselves institutionalized, he refuses to take the blame on that one! ]

[godiegogo]

That wasn't my fault!

[He makes a face there, because it was totally his fault, and sometimes Diego has a little - only a little - self-awareness.]

It took me months to shave down those damn bars!

[He glares at Five, panting for breath after near shouting that, and then - eventually - relaxes into a shamefaced grin.]

It's good to see you. In spite of everything.

[oldmanfive]

[ Five just rolls his eyes at that and shakes his head. ]

Sorry I blew your big escape plan but you were being seriously nuts. I would have went back for you, once I found the others.

[ That is the most of an apology that Diego is going to get out of him at this point. ]

It's good to see you too, Diego.

[godiegogo]

[wryly, but not without affection] Sure you would! You would've left me there in a heartbeat if I pissed you off enough.

[And it's appreciated. Five pisses him off, too, but he's also very aware that Five does a hell of a lot to try to keep them all alive and together. Disagreeing with Five's methods doesn't make that less true.] How've you been?

[oldmanfive]

Maybe, if you kept acting nuts. [ He shrugs, but at least he looks amused about it. ]

As well as can be expected. [ He's still breathing, so there's that. The bar is just that high for him right about now. ]