watching season 4, beware spoilers

[redballoon]

...no.

Comments

[formersurgeon]

I'm so sorry.

[redballoon]

[brittle, feeling like he'll fly apart, wanting to snap...

...but well aware it's not this lady's fault]

Thank you.

[formersurgeon]

[Joan has seen this before, of course, from patient's families, from victims of violent crimes, even from Sherlock. Her voice remains soft and respectful.]

I know it's probably hard to think that things will ever be better. But you're strong. And you have friends.

[redballoon]

[John frowns a little; her attitude is quite... familiar. Compassionate, but respectful. Retaining a professional distance.]

Mm.

I'll manage. Have to. For my daughter.

[Definitely not changing the subject and trying to evade talking about his feelings. Definitely not. Never does that.] Ah, excuse me, should I know you?

[formersurgeon]

[Of course not.]

You might not have met me before. It's one of the weird things about this place...sometimes there are different versions of people. For instance, my name is Joan Watson. I work with a man named Sherlock.

[wouldntbeone]

So. Ah. How far did you get?

[redballoon]

[Flinch. Quick look at Sherlock, then away.]


Sherlock.

Far enough. I haven't... finished it, yet.

[wouldntbeone]

John. I-

[But no. He thinks better of it, or realises he has no idea what he's supposed to say. It's hard to tell the difference.]

I see.

[redballoon]

[Glacial. Knows he's being unfair.]


I don't expect you to say anything. Don't worry about it.

[wouldntbeone]

You do. Expect me to say something, that is. Something ignorant and thoughtlessly cruel so you have ample provocation to attack me without experiencing the distraction of guilt.

Don't worry, I will no doubt oblige. One of my many talents.

[marywatson]

[She smiles at first and then lowers her head.]

I'll never apologise for saving his life.

[There's a long pause, she's clearly not done.]

I am sorry I had to leave you and Rosie.

[redballoon]

[- freezing at first. He's hallucinating again. Must be.]

Oh... oh, Mary.

[Looking up at the sky. That's supposed to help control tears, isn't it? Not that he's crying. Definitely not.]

Mm. She misses you. But she's all right. Molly and Mrs Hudson are taking care of her.

[marywatson]

Of course it's me. Who else would it be? Well, not me me, obviously. I'm the construct in your mind of me. But, it will have to be enough for both of us.

I couldn't ask for better godparents. Though I suppose Mrs. H is really more of a grandma, isn't she?

[redballoon]

[Quietly] It is what it is.

Ha. Yes. She's the soft, kind grandma who makes excellent tea, and will tie people up and put them in the car boot if necessary. We couldn't ask for better.

[marywatson]

Yes. You've been saying that a lot recently. But somehow I don't think you're really accepting it.

[Otherwise, she's pretty sure she wouldn't be here.]

Well, the perfect balance for Molly and Sherlock. And every child needs one person like that in their life.

[wealldosillythings]

John, I...[Surely he's tired of the apologies.]

Anything you need, anything I can do for you or Rosie...I'm there.

[redballoon]

[He is, though he understands the impulse. A small strained smile.]

I know. And I appreciate it, Molly. You've been very helpful.


[He doesn't say "while I've been incapacitated". He doesn't say "while I've been useless".]

[wealldosillythings]

It's no trouble. I'm...happy to help.

[No one's happy, though. Except Rosie, despite all the upheaval.]

How's um... how are you feeling?

[redballoon]

[He feels as though he's taking dreadful advantage of her. Especially given her feelings for Sherlock, which were played upon so horribly by Eurus. But wouldn't it be worse to shut her out?]

Ah, it is what it is. I'm feeling a little more normal each day, I suppose. Apart from the times that something reminds me of Mary and I fall into a screaming heap.

[formeraddict]

How vague.

[redballoon]

[Tight smile. He's English, and prides himself on it, and also has a high tolerance for generally blunt comments given the man he associates himself with. Won't be rude to this person. At least, not yet.]

I suppose it is. I'm just having a somehwat difficult week. Everything will be quite all right.

[sherringford]

Sex would have been fun.

[redballoon]

[Double-take. Then swallowing.]

I wouldn't've let it get that far.

[Probably.]

On 20 January 2017 at 06:18, sherringford - DW Comment < dw_null@dreamwidth.org> wrote:

[sherringford]

Liar.

She would have told you to...afterward.

[redballoon]

[Shuddering. What he did was bad enough. If it'd gone further... especially knowing who Eurus *is*, now.........]

Oh, you think so? You think you knew her?