dear_mun | AU!Ben continues to grump at me. (No Rogue One spoilers, please.) (Crossposted to dear

No. I already have, thanks to you, my hands full at all times. You do not need to give me more of my former-Darth-Revan memories back. Really, you should be grateful people even go along with the ridiculous notion that is 'Force reincarnation'. I don't care how well you think it explains the mantra that there is no death, only the Force, I have a full time job living this life - which you may have noticed is in a state of thorough disarray as of now, again, thanks to your total lack of planning.

I also do not need to become 'more involved' with my family. Please stop throwing me at every iteration of my father that shows up. Although he admittedly is safer talking to me than getting himself knee-deep in trouble with another smuggling deal gone awry - Force only knows how he survived before he met Uncle Chewie - my mother is here. She can handle him. I have to focus on the Force right now, not whatever melodramatic dribble you feel in the mood for at the moment. Which is also why you need to stop seeking out Lukes. I will face my uncle when my reconnection to the Light is stronger and I have made more progress undoing the damage I wrought as Kylo Ren.

And stop bringing up my tauntaun. Many people strong with the Force have connections to creatures. It is not 'cute'. [He crosses his arms indignantly.] Besides, it isn't as if there's anywhere here I could bring Tom-Tom along, anyway.

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[Have a very confused ANH-era Luke.]

"Uncle?"

"It's a bit of a long story. But yes, uncle. Eventually. Time doesn't function in a linear fashion here; you should brace yourself to encounter people from both the future and the past."

Force help him, this was awkward. His uncle looked like a baby tauntaun, wide eyed and confused. This was not how he envisioned them meeting again. It isn't worse, but in no way is it better.

Yeah, I, ah, I met Ben Kenobi here, but he was young...

You've got to be from the future then.

I was named after Kenobi, but I have managed not to run into him here or even see him in quite some time. I can't help feeling that would be an interesting meeting, if only to actually meet the man I was named for.

Yes. About thirty years after you, Mother and Han took down the Empire, roughly speaking. [He is not going to mention to this younger, more idealistic young man the kind of things that happen after that, the rise of the First Order, the fate of Luke's padawans - no, best to keep him in the dark about those horrors. Let Leia explain it, if anyone must do so. He clears his throat and straightens up, folding his hands and trying not to tower over Luke like he does most people thanks to his height (curse recessive genes).] How - how far in the past, compared to me, are you from?

[Okay, after he, 'mother', and Han took down the Empire. Wonder why he didn't mention Leia...?]

Ah, pretty far, I'd guess. We blew up the Death Star, but that was more about survival than beating them...

That doesn't defeat them, no. For what it's worth, it does deal a heavy enough blow to put you on track to beating them. But I'm also guessing that this is before you know - and I hate to inform you of this, but someone has to, before you do anything you might regret - that you and Leia are siblings. Jedi Knights were supposed to be celibate, but... well. That era is officially over. Not that Mother ever entertained the idea of being a Jedi, herself. Too many rules she didn't like.

[Please, Force, if you're listening, let Luke not still be attracted to her. Ben's not sure what he can take in that regard.

[...he's going to need a moment to process that. Possibly lots of moments.]

...What.

Jedi were meant to be celibate. So you both had to be hidden, and it was easier to find two different families willing to take in one child than to find one that would take in twins. Your mother was no Jedi, but she wanted the best for you both; she was the one who made the arrangements, from what I've been able to gather.

[He's not going to mention Luke's father. He's just going to steadfastly ignore that. Luke doesn't need to know about the man beyond the fact he was a Jedi who broke the Code.] I am Leia's son. That's why you're my uncle, Luke. [He forces himself not to cringe at how stupid that statement sounds, how redundant.]

[He isn't sure what to say, but his presence likely speaks volumes.]

...Force reincarnation?

There is no death, only the Force. All that energy, that knowledge, the sum total of experiences that make a person a person - they don't vanish when you die, according to this particular strain of logic. It all lives on in the Force and eventually is put into another person as the Force sees fit. All those moments people have their lives that they chalk up to intuition or a sense of 'just knowing' something is actually a barely tapped wellspring of such information left over from someone else's life.

But with enough meditation, and if you had a reason to look, if you were given some credible evidence that would lend itself towards not dismissing whatever that meditation and work dredged up, in theory, a person could use the Force to access the memories, feelings, the life of someone who came before them.

[Ben's somber, almost weary explanation, coupled with his tired expression, should show he's very well aware of all the implications about this that would keep a person up at night staring at their ceiling wondering about the nature of personhood, the Force, fate, and a slew of other things. He shrugs, not out of nonchalance but out of not knowing where to go from there with the topic. And if the Force did such things as needed, what did that imply for Anakin, being fathered by the Force? Who or what was Anakin a reincarnation of - or was he a newly formed exception to the otherwise steadfast rules in place? Ben wasn't sure he wanted to know anymore than he wanted to know what it meant for the rest of the Skywalker family. In a way, it almost didn't matter. What was done was done, and there was no changing that.]

I know it raises more questions than it answers. But some of those questions are worth asking.

[Like whether or not a person could do what Ben had done, such unforgivable things, and still manage to change. If it was possible for a man who plunged the galaxy into war, then perhaps in spite of how hard Ben had had to fight to get himself back into the Light, there was still hope. Not a great deal of it, just a small chance, but it existed, regardless, in the back of his mind now. It kept him going as he worked with his mother to undo the First Order.

Then again, even an optimist wouldn't call what Revan got a happy ending. As usual, the Force handed out mixed messages and left confusion in its' wake. Ben sighed, looking at the ground for a moment. He was relatively young, but the weight of the burden the Force had given him - that he'd exacerbated, admittedly - made him feel old already.]

[He finds the theory interesting, but -] I seek to overcome Death itself so I will not need to access the memories of anyone important to me. [Save, perhaps, his mother's. Yet she never showed any Force ability, so it is unlikely he could find her.]

Only if you accept that death is inevitable. [Which he does not. The Force - the natural cycle - needs to be broken and reshaped. He is tired of standing on the sidelines, feeling helpless. Hopeless.]

Why are you so interested in talking to dead souls?

Additional information is always useful. The first of Revan's memories that resurfaced in me allowed me to locate a new source, or perhaps more accurately rediscover an old one, for kyber crystals. There is value to this, although it takes time to sift through to find what one is looking for in these things.

[Ben inclines his head, acknowledging that there's an argument to be made there. It's just not one he's particularly interested in making for himself given his longstanding run of bad mistakes made from intellectually sound places. One thing he has learned since returning to the Light is that he is, in fact, quite capable of being wrong, despite his earlier views on himself.] I accept that no one plans to die and that therefore my focus must be on making the best of the present and immediate future, as the rest is not set in stone. The past offers clues on what to avoid, on what the outcomes of some actions might be, and can give forth alternate ideas on how to proceed. I admit I'm not fond of having another life inside my head, but it's a stretch to say it isn't worth being interested in.

[He smiles, mirthlessly, for a moment.] Then again, I'm also interested in it for the same reason I like talking to my parents: I've never known how to stay away from things that hurt me if there's an element of the unknown present. My curiosity compels me more than the average man, I think.

AU!Ben continues to grump at me. (No Rogue One spoilers, please.) (Crossposted to dear_player)

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