Julian is not happy about any sort of canon update.

[brand_of_disgrace]

You tell me I can't get put into a game like this because I no longer resemble canon, right? But that's not my fault. Leo doesn't resemble canon anymore either. None of us do. We're not canon anymore.

But I bet Crash stays dead, right?

Nuh-uh. People don't re-write people because of stupid things. This is some Anne Rice level bullshit right here. I think. Throw me literally anywhere but a game that requires me be strict to canon. Are AU games still a thing? Wait, I don't want that either!

I have a headache. I'm about to go crazy. Seriously. Don't do that to me. I've been reset way, way too many times in my long life already.

Comments

[wings_of_lucidity]

[ Abel watches Julian for a moment before scoffing out his irritable and heavily-accented words. ]

Your book is out, you know. At worst, you're AU. At best, I'm an OC. Which of those two is more loathed here?

[brand_of_disgrace]

[ Rhetorical ques-what? Julian legitimately considers. ]

I'd probably guess OC, but... You're from a prequel. So if your book does come out, nothing will be changed. The author changed direction for my book, Abel, but your story is pre-established canon, even in mine. So... Um. Yeah. Fuck you! Or... Something!

[wings_of_lucidity]

...Damn. Either way, it's not a good place for either of us. You exist as a shadow of what you should be, and I exist as a phantom of something that may or may not ever become true, established canon, but merely word of god.

...I'm not sure which is worse. You're right.

[brand_of_disgrace]

Yep. I'm right. We're both pretty equally screwed on the Dear_Mun/Dear_Player level, so it all comes down to how screwed we are in canon, and we both know I win that round. So ha!

[wings_of_lucidity]

And... You're happy about that? Honestly happy about being worse off?

[brand_of_disgrace]

If my life has to be shit, I want it to be shit enough that I can bitch about it at my leisure.

[wings_of_lucidity]

...How are you me?

Never mind, I don't want to talk about it. If nothing else, that's a better attitude to have than one I could even pretend to put up as a facade. Good luck with that.

[ He knows you'll need it, Jules. At least he's just dead. ]

[dreadloud]

The moment we're pulled from our lives we're AU. We branch off from what we were, right? I sure as hell don't line up with """"canon"""" anymore. Fuckin' own it.

[brand_of_disgrace]

I'm not sure you get it. If I was a character design, I'd be concept art. I'm a rough draft, a demo album. I can't own shit.

[dreadloud]

Well, shit. Guess that makes you an OC, huh? And not a very developed one.

[brand_of_disgrace]

Wrong. I'm overdeveloped. And then the writer didn't stick with the original story when it was finally published. So I can no longer be considered a character without a canon, can no longer be claimed as "original," and don't resemble published canon. At all. Even a little.

[dreadloud]

So you don't know what you are.

[brand_of_disgrace]

Oh, I know what I am. I'm a bartender, and I'm an Elementalist, and I'm a pain in Leo's ass.

I just don't know how to define my canon anymore.

[dreadloud]

There are a Lotta games that aren't particular about that shit. Besides . . . [A shark-tooth grin] they don't gotta know that.

[brand_of_disgrace]

[ His voice is rather dry. ]

I don't wanna be like that, you know? But I do have a really in-depth Wiki page. Which wasn't written by the "author," either, but you don't see the Wiki's main contributor credited in the book that was published five years later, do you?

[ Bitter? Who's bitter? Julian isn't bitter. ]

[dreadloud]

And I bet the Wiki is the old version. The original one. I doubt anyone even read the damn thing, so all they've gotta go on is the wiki page . . . I mean, you say you don't wanna be devious, but at this point it's your only option. If you're gonna get into a game.

[brand_of_disgrace]

I'm not a liar. And you'd say it's not lying. I mean, I am the original. Well, no, Abel is. But I'm the original me. If that counts. The novel came after the wiki, not before. Novel-Me is full of bullshit. Me-Me is... Me.

[ He's not really eloquent at the best of times, but his frustration makes it so much worse here. ]

[dreadloud]

That's what I'm sayin', man! You're only provin' my point. It's not like you'd be taking away from anyone else playing you. No one'd play bullshit you.

[Doug isn't eloquent, either. He just spits out a bunch of words and hopes it gets across. What a great pair.]

[brand_of_disgrace]

It's still deceitful, isn't it? It'd be like playing someone based on a bunch of deleted scenes, plus alternate ending.

[ small gasp ]

I'm bonus footage!

[dreadloud]

[PFFF-- Doug snickers]

Bonus footage. Oh man.

Have you seen what people play? It's all ABOUT the bonus footage!

[brand_of_disgrace]

Yeah, but deleted scenes don't make it into the movie.

[dreadloud]

True. But your mun's name didn't get in either, and he still exists. Still as legitimate. I just don't get what the problem is-- No, I do. You could get into a game but you won't 'cause you're honest. So? Do you even want to? Or is it the concept that you couldn't that bothers you?

[brand_of_disgrace]

Back then, I didn't want Leo to go without me. And I didn't want to go without Leo.

...That's still the case.

1/2

[dreadloud]

Oh. . . . Then you're fucked.

[dreadloud]

I mean-- [he throws up his hands] Right now, for right now. You never know. It's like that brat was saying' to the other brat.

[brand_of_disgrace]

Yeah great thanks you evil little midget.

[dreadloud]

HEY. I've been perfectly friggin' civil, okay? Don't hit below the belt!!

[brand_of_disgrace]

I'd be afraid to try. If I don't aim low enough I'll accidentally kick you right in the face.

[dreadloud]

RAAAAAAGHHHHHH! [smol, blind comedic windmill of rage, coming' at ya buddy]

[brand_of_disgrace]

[ Aaaand it begins to rain. Nice job Doug, you spooked the rain out of him. ]

1/2

[dreadloud]

[ STOPS DEAD STILL ]

What.



The fuck.

[dreadloud]

Did you . . . ? There's no way you did that, how'd you do that, what the fuck even are you? You don't just suddenly FLINCH RAIN INTO EXISTENCE. There's gotta be like, giant shower heads set up, right? What's the trick?

[brand_of_disgrace]

Hey, don't look at me! You came at me like one of those big dreadlocky dogs that look like happy mop heads!