The Homeless OC Blues

[cometojesus]

So. Boss, if that's the way it's gonna be...

If you're going to be honest with anyone, it should at least be me, right? Is this just because you want to play with all the superheroes and...what, mutants running around? Metahumans? Whatever the hell they're calling themselves these days? Or do you actually have a plan in mind besides just throwing the pretty blond boy out to see what he does?

World Tree at least had a specific use for me, you know. Not like I'm a hard sell. Just because I don't do the "hero" thing, doesn't mean that I can't find a percentage in damn near anything, given the right incentive.

...don't look at me like it's a dirty word. And yes, I know you have been looking at those worlds where it's fight or die, or weird monster islands, or try to have sex with the local trees, and all that messed-up shit but you know what? Maybe it'd be good to stretch my legs. Just only do it if you're actually going to keep up, because I'm sure as hell not making enough right now to hire a camera crew and secretary. Private security pays shit without the right PR.

Sigh. Can we at least talk about a new SUV to replace the one you dropped on me? That was just embarrassing.

Comments

[roboqueen]

Your mundane dropped an SUV on you?

[Any curiosity she has--and there's a fair amount--is masked by the unmistakable glee in Iris' voice. This sounds amazing.]

[cometojesus]

Yep. It really wasn't my day. I hadn't finished paying for it yet. [He winces.] I managed to write it off, but private security doesn't pay so great as a startup.

I think the Mun is still trying to figure out just how much punishment a guy with steel skin can take. So far the answer is somewhere between "a lot" and "holy shit that's a lot". [He gives her an utterly charming grin. He knows his selling points.]

[roboqueen]

[There's a certain spark in Iris' eyes as he explains further. She steps closer, giving him an obvious once-over: face, places where his arms and wrists are visible, neck.]

Your skin looks fairly biological to me. And believe me, I'd know.

[cometojesus]

[He smirks, and holds up a hand so that she can see when the glean of steel, like mercury, slides in a micro-thin layer over his skin.]

Trick of the trade. But that has me wondering just how it is you're so experienced with biology? [He's still smiling, but his pale eyes are curious- And maybe just a little careful.] Or is it just in the fun kind of way?

[roboqueen]

[Now that is something. Iris face spreads into a wide grin, and already her mind is whirring with possibilities. She grabs his hand by the wrist and pulls it closer so she can get a better look.]

Augmentation, yes? Some level of natural ability, it's more trouble than it's worth to make a run-of-the-mill human like this, unless you want more medicine in them than blood.

I could've done it better, of course. Let me know if you need a tune-up, won't you dearie?

[cometojesus]

[Oh, that gets an interested look, even if he's now a little bit wary. She knows a lot. Okay. That's both intriguing and a little scary.]

You know, technically, I'm proprietary technology. But I'm ferrokinetic, so they added a lot of it. [He flexes his hand as the metal retreats back up his sleeve. Very Terminator.] Immune to metal poisoning means lots of room for play.

Tune-up, huh? So that sounds like you're in the field. Are you talking about tuning up the metal parts, or the other parts? [And no, that's not a flirt unless she wants it to be. He's trying to be at least a little professional here.]

[roboqueen]

Kinky. [About what? The ferrokinesis, the technology, the immunity? Take your pick, Iris certainly doesn't discriminate.]

The metal parts, of course. Those are the interesting ones. Is it only raw metal, or is there any circuitry in that skull of yours?

[cometojesus]

You know, I've heard of being undressed with your eyes, but I think this is the first time anyone's tried to find out what was under my skin before the first date...

[He raises eyebrows. Then, after a moment pushes up his sleeve to reveal swirls of metal worked right into the skin like some kind of bizarre inlaid tattoo.]

If you wanna see more, you're going to have to at least buy me a drink first. But it's pure steel, no circuitry. [He pauses.] Getting the circuitry removed was part of my contract "severance package". I feel like I might have just disappointed you, there...

[shelbycobra]

That just sounds really ridiculously painful. Emphasis on ridiculously.

[cometojesus]

More embarrassing than painful, mostly. I turned out to be better steel than the car was.

Still a waste, though. And at least if I'm not in a stuffy office, i'm out finding much better company, [He grins at her. No whining when he's making interesting friends.]

I think I might have seen you around, are you on the random track, too?

[shelbycobra]

Pretty much.

Well, my mun tries hard to keep me up to date with what's going on in my career in the real world, but otherwise I float around.

She let me get my arm stuck in a car once but to be fair that's totally something I would do.

[cometojesus]

Ahh. Yeah, my mun has one of those arrangements with a lot of "hurry up and wait", so there's plenty of time for trouble. The other guys in the brainspace have been around long enough they're all nice and settled, but I still need some walls to get thrown at, I guess.

Stuck in a car? That somehow sounds worse. What part of the car and who started the argument? [He grins, clearly teasing.]

[shelbycobra]

[Laughs.] It wasn't so bad. I mean, I cut my arm but it wasn't severe.

I'm just trying to do my job and have some sort of life outside of it. I've lost a couple of people I love who have up and vanished. So I spend a lot of time talking to myself!

[cometojesus]

[He nods understanding. Small day to day conflicts with the technology happen to him, too.]

That sucks. I guess that's one good thing about not really getting attached anywhere yet, I don't have anything to miss. Because I do not miss Backstory-Land. It was not a good place and however I got out, it was worth it.

Life is always a good start, though. What kind of interests have you got, and what do you do? I mean you, not the Mundane.

[shelbycobra]

I'm a professional racing driver. I drive for Team Penske in the Verizon IndyCar Series.

As for other interests? Well... [Laughs.] They pretty much all revolve around racing. Though I do have a passion for mixed martial arts.

[cometojesus]

Hey, if you're doing something you've got a passion for, nothing wrong with that. [He returns the chuckle] I have a few ranks in urban survival driving, but that sounds like a great adrenaline rush.

[He tilts his head as he looks at her.] MMA, you practice, or just a fan?

[shelbycobra]

I train. I mean, I obviously don't compete, but my trainer is retired UFC and it's a really great way to keep in shape.

What about you?

[cometojesus]

[He gives a nod of approval, that quickly turns into a smirk.]

Well, considering I'm a professional bodyguard, it's the sort of thing I keep up with, yeah. Aikido and Tae Kwon Do, mostly, but I've picked up a few other things here and there, training all over the place. I used to do corporate security, but now I'm doing civilian work. Much friendlier, but I still keep my skills sharp.

[He crosses his arms and does his best to look buff. He's not bad.]

Let me guess, more of a beer girl than a wine sort, too, right?

[shelbycobra]

When I drink. I don't often.

[Chuckles.]

I've done good at staying out of trouble. Racing drivers don't get into trouble. There have been a couple plots of me getting dragged into something because of someone I was dating. My fiancee...well, ex-fiancee now I guess because we never got to the wedding...once got me groped by one of those crazy rich guys.

[cometojesus]

If you absolutely have to get into trouble, that's not the worst. Better just annoying than 'world-destroying', right?

That sucks about the fiance', but on the other hand, at least it means you're back to being a free agent, right? That seems like it would have a lot more flexibility and options.

[shelbycobra]

Not really. I prefer serious relationships over short-term flings.

[cometojesus]

Ah. I can see the appeal of committed interaction. I think that's why the mun is thinking about throwing me into a game, because memes don't seem to keep things going very long. I don't care so much about the whole relationship thing, but friends are good. Coworkers. People you can rely on when shit gets weird.

I hope you start having better luck.

[shelbycobra]

Thanks. What about you, anyone special in your life?

[barnumsheir]

Private Security Huh? Protect any celebrities? [He's rich. Not entirely famous - here at least, but he is rich.]

[cometojesus]

That actually sounds like it'd be a good way to branch out. Most of what I've done is corporate. But I've done a lot of corporate work, including protection, courier, negotiations.

[other stuff too, but it doesn't look quite as good on a civilian business...]

Why, you happen to know any celebrities looking for Executive Protection services? I've got a business card. They're nice ones, full glossy cardstock.

[barnumsheir]

Magicians?

[He for his part holds out his hands - and a card appears between his fingers.]

[cometojesus]

[He taps his chin thoughtfully.]

Sure, why not? That's a pretty specific career, but seems like it'd count as a celebrity. Assuming it pays well enough, at least.

[starnomad]

I think if someone dropped an SUV on my cyborg he'd probably not stop sulking for a month. If it was his, anyway. There'd also be threats, but only communicated by eyebrows.

The fact that it was yours just adds insult to injury.

[cometojesus]

I think I'm used to being gratuitously abused for cheap comedy, so it was just another day at the job for me. I'm not happy about it, but then I also get the random badass moment to make up for it.

It's only when the logic circuits kick in that it sucks. Because then the mun realizes that I'm on a tight budget as a new business and that the moment of entertainment comes out of my pocket. I really need to find some bigger contracts, I swear. [Epic facepalm here.]

At least cyborgs and that type seem to still be sort of a novelty, right?

[starnomad]

Oh, he's definitely that, though I don't think he'd have much of a reaction to being called one. Besides maybe confused. I'm pretty sure he'd like you because you'd be someone worth sparring with for something besides teaching the other person how to throw punches (that never make contact).

[cometojesus]

I think I could go full contact with a cyborg. Not to preen or anything, but that is kind of my big selling point. If I'm powered down, I can spar with a human, but once the metal comes out, I'm about as tough as they come.

Mun couldn't decide between 'soft and squishy human' and 'inestructable' so of course there had to be a way to both. But it worked out to be a decent compromise. And it meant I got one hell of a sexy tattoo out of the deal. So I would definitely be open to the idea of a sparring partner!