On 7x17 - Spoilers in comments.

[hunting_trip]

[He's out of words, he can't... he can't even muster up a smartass comment. Just presses the heels of his palms into his eyes, and breathes out slowly.]

...Shit.

Comments

[doubtheaven]

Dean, it's alright.

You have Sam back now. It's better this way.

[hunting_trip]

[His jaw tenses, and for a second, he looks seriously, righteously angry. After a second, though, it all floods out and his shoulders slump.]

Cas, just... don't, okay? This isn't what I wanted. This isn't how it was supposed to go, alright? You were supposed to come back, and shit was supposed to get better.

[doubtheaven]

Dean, I shouldn't even be alive.

You were right. I walked out of that lake for a reason. To fix what I had done. To fix Sam.

[And he did it. At least he was able to right that wrong.]

[hunting_trip]

Sam isn't the only thing you broke, god damn it.

[If he snapped a little and his voice rose in pitch, he... couldn't really help it. He was on the edge of his rope, here, man.]

Sam isn't the only thing you gotta stick around long enough to fix.

[doubtheaven]

The leviathan.

There's nothing I can do. You saw what they did to me.

[hunting_trip]

No, you jackass. Not the leviathans.

[He faltered, teeth ground together tight, and rounded on the angel.]

Cas, you died. You were gone, okay? Bobby's left. My list of family is getting pretty goddamn short. Don't you get it?

[doubtheaven]

But after what I've done...

[hunting_trip]

[He snorted, derisive.]

Welcome to the goddamn family. Pretty sure I set the course for a friggin' apocalypse, and Sam? Hell, we don't even gotta go there with him.

[doubtheaven]

But the number of people and angels who died because of me...

Dean, I appreciate what you're trying to do, but you have your brother back now. I used Sam. I took down his wall.

And he was my friend.

[hunting_trip]

He still is I'm not trying to do anything, Cas.

[He scowled.]

Let's get one thing straight here, okay? You don't have a choice in this. You owe me, you owe me big, and I'm collecting in the form of you dragging your happy ass out of the hospital and getting your head on straight, or I swear to god I will kick your ass. Is that understood?

[doubtheaven]

I'll.. try.

[He doesn't sound very hopeful, though, now that he has Lucifer running around in his head.]

[hunting_trip]

Damn right you will.

[It's still angry, but he loses some of the tenseness in his shoulders. Consider the matter settled, and he doesn't want to hear another damn word about it. It's his turn, god damn it. He's lost so much, he deserves this. He gets this, if he never gets anything else.]

Now, tell me how to fix it. Who do we gotta get in contact with? Any ideas, man, scraping the bottom of the barrel here.

aw ;.; /gloms

[doubtheaven]

I don't know.

[Except God, but searching for Him went so well last time.]