dear_mun | A Warden says hi again.

Do they ever have a plan? But then, I may be slightly biased in my critique.

[Hello again, Warden. Tea?]

...You have my sympathies. It is never easy to be the bearer of such bad news.

[Hello, fellow mage from another world. Tea is nice, yes.]

Mine certainly doesn't, I'm defined by a lack of planning. ...Which sometimes means making the wrong choices. And having to do that. ...Twice now.

I've had to learn, myself. Fueled by vengeance as I was as a child.

[She gently slides a cup of tea over to her fellow mage, cream and a few cubes of sugar as well should she be interested in those.]

"Wrong" or "right"... [Her voice trails.] Sometimes I wonder if those concepts are solely dependent on the perspective of those studying the past.

[Stirring a bit of cream and honey into her own cup a moment, she lowers her gaze.]

In my travels, I have had to tell tribes... families of their loved one's deaths more than I would like to admit. Some I wondered if they could be spared, but it gives neither their loved ones nor you peace to focus on the "what if's"--only despair. Should you wish to talk of it, though... I'm all "ears".

[As horned as they might be, hurr]

Edited 2016-06-02 00:23 (UTC)

It's not easy to dismiss it when you know it could have been different. If my player had looked ahead, if she followed her own example with her various heroes of Tamriel and read guides before rather than after the fact...

[She takes her tea sweet, two sugars, but it seems to be an excuse to idly stir the beverage to have something to lose her gaze in now.]

...A child was possessed. I could have saved her.

... I never meant to imply that it was.

[Only that losing yourself in the thoughts of "if I could only turn back time" isn't exactly good for the soul. Yet it doesn't seem the time to say it, so she drops it and remains silent for a moment, absentmindedly stirring the hot tea before taking a small sip. Best to let the other speak when she was ready than blurt something else out.]

I shouldn't be...

[...Be what? She stops stirring her tea, watching the swirls slow to a halt. Koko's not a companion of hers, not someone looking to her as a leader, or a personal hero. She's from an entirely different world and that means that a lot of how she should and shouldn't act is different.]

...acting like this, I know.

Do not worry about it. What's a bit of guilt and blood between friends?

[...'Koko you have a twisted sense of camaraderie, I don't think that counts-'

She puts a hand to her forehead, as though she has a severe headache.]

I-I cannot judge, after all. A similar choice is in my past... and my future as well.

[If that's twisted, she is, too. Knowing the pain of another is what caused her to break from what would have been a far lonelier and much less fulfilling path, after all.]

May I ask how closely similar?

When I first arrived to Ul'dah, there was a man who was possessed by a harbinger of chaos. The possessor tried to have me slain, but I can't help but think of the family the poor sod after all these years. If perhaps, I had more arcane power back then, I could have fashioned the spell that would have saved him from the bastard instead of slaying the body and witnessing the foul creature escape.

[The future is more...personal, and she knows the Vengeance involved well.]

[Ouch. That's almost too similar to poor Amalia. If only she'd had the time, the way she had with Connor...]

...I'm sorry. That's always difficult. But you can prevent misfortune like that now?

At a great cost, but... yes. [She pauses.] I hope it is easier for you, at least. Our worlds are different, after all.

Preventing possession is a matter of either vigilance or a great deal of resources and risk to another mage. "Great cost" probably covers it, still. Vigilance is what we are taught.

Vigilance, huh.

[Koko can see the reason for why it would be. In truth, she sometimes wishes she had been more so once she heeded the Call.]

Were it only the problem of mages in my realm... But I suppose this is what they mean by "the grass is always greener on the other side," no?

...I suppose. On the one hand, your forms can be changed against your will. But simply possessing the ability to use magic in mine...

[She tries forcing a smile. It's not even necessarily limited to mages, they're just at highest risk.]

But no matter where you live, having magic makes disarming you all but pointless, right?

...

[For one moment, there is almost a look of pity in her gaze. Pity, before her brows furrow with a pain she had been trying to push aside for the time being. Forehead resting in her palm again, forcing a smile of her own as images clear as the night they occurred flash in her mind's eye.

Arms bound, bent, breaking. Sudden drew 'cross polished stone. Accusations of regicide, murder of the noble who championed us. Staring up at comrades, betrayers of trust. "All lies," we thought.

General and friend snapping, slaying another in grief and rage. Wrath focused on the accusers, freeing us from fetters. Told to flee. Yet still they came... Still they came!

Serve... Save... Slay... One by one, Scions stay behind to buy them time. Antecedent and confidant, friend and sister. Scattering the Scions to the four corners, mutilating their bodies and souls with magick forbidden to ensure the dawn's light shine once again..!

No more, enough, we thought. If this was all that awaits a mage of light... their blade of light.

When her lips next move, it almost sounds as though another speaks-yet their voice remained the same, if only with a darker undertone.]

Disarming us... Like they did once in Ul'dah? [They laugh bitterly.] They must be mad indeed to try. Even before our soul was split, every man would burn in the fires of our wrath should we will it. Yet we tired of the constant death, sought justice and peace... Something neither of our worlds will ever accept whether it be for mages or heretical dark knights.

[That was...new. It doesn't seem like possession. When a possessing demon reveals itself to her, it's always reverted to its eerie double-voice. There is no echo here, just the same voice but different, darker.

"Before our soul was split"...and "heretical dark knights"? She does not like the sound of that last one, and the thought that she's confided in this person as a friend and outside view...]

I didn't mean-...taking enjoyment in death. I only-...

[Her mind does this, when paradigms suddenly shift, or confronted with a problem that offers only intolerable solutions. It locks up and stalls until a way out either presents itself or she is forced to act. Not the best leadership quality.]

"Never" is a strong word.

Ah, right. She never told you did she? Well, can't blame her. After what those traitors did to us...

Most never do, but doing what we do... Hah hah. I offered her a way for us to be free, but she rejected it. That's us Xaela for you, though. Too stubborn to admit we want to flee when a fight is to be had.

[Aw, it scared the mage. Part of her likes that, but they both like her, too. Perhaps she should tone it down, if she knew how. Perhaps listening to their heartbeat...]

Hm, I suppose it might be. The winds of change however do not blow gently. There will always be resistance...

Heh. Hopefully less for you than us. When she takes the reins again, remind her to tell you all about Thancred's realization of that truth. Far more amusing from her than our anger and anguish.

["Scared" in the sort of inevitable way that precedes a betrayal for her. She's faced it thrice too often now.

She forces her thoughts, alternately racing and stumbling over themselves, into cohesion. There might be a threat. She may not understand everything. Focus.

It's trying to talk. Trying to be civil. Referring to itself and Koko...like a team? As "us"? Not a true possession, is it?]

What are you?

I am Koko.

[She says it so plainly, and yet... How to put it so that this warden would understand it?]

When we came to Ishgard, we were broken husks of the mask of Hope we appear to others. A blade which swore allegiance with a lord no longer.

Her arcane skills could not aide her when she needed it most, yet when she found the soul crystal blade of another... I called out to her to open her eyes.

She had crystal and blade in hand, but what she wanted was a teacher--one with the gifts and knowledge she did not. What better a teacher to listen to ones soul than yourself?

I am Esteem, our Anguish, the darkest portions of our soul. Ever ready to take hold of the reins when hope gives way to despair. But my time is nearing its end.

[And with that, the entity grows silent as she shakes her head.]

Nngh...Of all the times it would choose...

[Koko looks up at last, and one look at the other's face is all she needs to know what happened.]

I... am sorry. Ordinarily she only surfaces when I am nearing my final breaths.

No, it-...

[She didn't understand a lot of that context. That world is so similar and yet, not similar enough...]

...It's all right, Koko. She is a part of you, she said?

Loathe I am to admit it, yes.

Everyone... [She seems to be having trouble forcing the words out. Inevitably, she thinks of her own darker sides. The way she defaults to ruthlessness for the majority of blood mages, for Loghain too. The way her refusal to even risk dealing with a demon cost a little girl her life. The way her own selfishness-...]

...Everyone has their darker sides. There's no shame in admitting it.

[That was hard to say. Could she ever admit to her own?]

I hardly doubt yours would lash out or harm even thouse I care about solely for the purpose of "defending oneself" if left unchecked, but I know I am of the few whose had to face theirs made manifest.

[Koko would be one of the literal last to judge another's ruthlessness. After all, she murders for a living... and has her own inner darkness as a peanut gallery in her head 24/7. Perhaps to get back to the topic they were discussing would be better.]

As... for the question you posed before my episode, I... In a way, it is pointless to disarm those of the magic-inclined. However their spells become weaker without a catalyst in my realm, and a hazard to themselves if ones hands are bound.

~~[Just wait until the player has an excuse to throw her into a Shadow meme or something.]~~

I was...trying to lead into an anecdote a fellow combat mage might find amusing. I'm sorry.

It's true, though, having an injured arm or bound hands can interfere in our spells, certainly...

[She's...not sure she wants to tell the anecdote now.]

I'm sorry. For...doing that.

[Catalyzing Esteem's takeover, that is. Especially knowing now it tends to happen when she's in danger.]

You mean utilizing a entropic magics upon unsuspecting guards who thought it wise to only disarm and lock you and one other in a cell?

[A sly grin crosses her lips.]

Don't apologize. It beats falling unconscious, I suppose.

Oh, you've been told already...

[Damn you, players! Anyway, that's very much besides the point now. The point was she made her feel threatened just by mentioning being disarmed and there have been two mentions of this "Ul'dah" place where that terrible possession took place.]

...But you weren't even in danger of it this time.

Do not fret. I'm fairly certain she simply wished to entertain you while I would have fallen unconscious.

[The Crystal-blessed witch smiles warmly. Oh, right... She hadn't yet had the opportunity to share her other "gift" with her friend.]

For I was not told of your exploits. Cute boyfriend, by the way.

Edited 2016-06-23 21:14 (UTC)

[That doesn't do much about not fretting. Did she just say her words would have driven her into a faint? Is that it? How awful.

Good thing, then, that she's thoroughly snatched her attention away with this little revelation.]

But if you weren't told, how do you know about any of that?

Ah! Forgive me, it is rather... complicated.

[Koko bows deeply in apology. She truly does not like to intrude upon another's past, however useful it may be.]

Though in short, I can traverse the past of another and catch glimpses of future events. Just... not whenever I please. Rather annoying, really. Once passed out at a dinner party when someone was in the middle of a war story.

[Best. First impression on the Sultanate. Ever. (Not.)]

[...Well she feels better about that, anyway.]

And this power decided then was the time to go see what, exactly, I was talking about? That's rather inconvenient.

[She pauses uncertainly. She'd known about her and Alistair's relationship, despite the incident in question never bringing it up directly. Sure, it might have been an observation of their body language during that whole ordeal in Fort Drakon, but she has to make sure. The idea of someone watching her past without her knowing what they're looking at or that they're even doing it is unsettling. She's made some choices she's not proud of, too.]

Um...what else did you see?

Nothing rather... compromising, I assure you. Unless you mean being reduced to your smallclothes in your cell.

[Look she's just a good reader of body language and would prefer to get the image of her friend in only her smallclothes out of her head, thank you.]

[Good, she can rest assured on that front. Probably just body language, and hopefully she's not covering up seeing something embarrassing out of politeness.]

Hardly compromising, in those circumstances. That's part of why my world fears us, though - even stripped of nearly everything, our ability to defend ourselves doesn't change so much.

A Warden says hi again.

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(sorry for this wall of text)

never apologize for that

apologizes anyway

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