muse has a "few" things to say

[watchmewhippersnapper]

HEY!  HEY YOU! YES, I'M TALKING TO YOU, YOU MEDDLESOME MUN!  PAY ATTENTION!

WHY, IN MY DAY, WHEN AN ELDER ADDRESSED YOU, THERE WAS NONE OF THIS HALF-HEARTED MONOSYLLABIC NONSENSE!  YOU STOOD UP STRAIGHT AND ANSWERED IN FULL, GRAMMATICALLY-CORRECT SENTENCES AND ADDRESSED YOUR SENIORS PROPERLY WITH A "SIR" OR "MA'AM" OR WHATEVER TITLE THEY SO RIGHTFULLY DESERVED.  AND ON THAT NOTE, WHAT IS ALL THIS SO-CALLED 'NAY-SAYING' NEWFOUNGLED DANCE CRAZE THING YOU'RE REFERENCING WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO A GOOD OLD FASHIONED FOXTROT?  WHY, I BET MY EDGIE-POO COULD TROT WITH THE BEST OF THEM LIKE THE HANDSOME FOX HE IS!  OH JUST THINKING ABOUT IT MAKES ME FEEL ALL TINGLY AND YOUNG AGA--

ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME?!?!?

Comments

[undercherryblossoms]

[with his fake servant smile] Excuse me, milady, your elderness, but you're hurting my eardrums a little.

[watchmewhippersnapper]

[It was the 'milady' title that caused her to...at least drop the volume down a few decibels.]

I can't be held responsible for someone else's weak eardrums. There are too many things in need of my full attention.

[undercherryblossoms]

[phew]

I see, madam. These things must be, without a doubt, a matter of grave importance.

[watchmewhippersnapper]

Of the utmost.

Do you think they would bother sending someone of my stature an experience on so trivial a matter?

[Yes. Yes, they absolutely would.]

[undercherryblossoms]

[with a trained tone of respect]

Why, I'd never imply such a thing.

May I humbly ask what is this matter of vital importance? Maybe I could help.

[watchmewhippersnapper]

Maybe. Maybe not.

Without knowing what kind of training you have, there's no way of saying whether you'll be a help or a hindrance.

[No offense. That was, if she cared enough whether she offended anyone or not.]

[undercherryblossoms]

My training should be sufficient if the pressing matter is some kind of military or criminal threat, for instance, madam. I'm a soldier.

[watchmewhippersnapper]

[. . .]

[Oh. Well...then...]

There...is a slight chance you might be of some good use, then.

But I warn you. The things I've seen could give even the most skilled soldier a run for their training.

[undercherryblossoms]

[salutes her just to appease her. Thank Verloren she's not screeching again]

I'm listening, Ms.

[whitescalesbigmouth]

...!

[Wow, and she thought her uncle's nagging was bad.]

Uhm...no offence m'am. But maybe if you spoke a little quieter, maybe that would be a better way of getting your mun's attention? I mean you do sound a little stressed out right now.

[watchmewhippersnapper]

I'M NOT STRESSED WHO SAID ANYTHING ABOUT BEING STRESSED? WHY, LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT WHAT TRUE STRESS IS LIKE, SOMETHING I'M SURE YOU'VE NEVER HAD TO EXPERIENCE A SINGLE DAY IN YOUR LIFE. KIDS THESE DAYS DON'T KNOW HOW GOOD THEY'VE GOT IT, WHY IT WASN'T TEN YEARS AGO THAT I--

[She's going to continue carrying on if somebody doesn't stop her. Or put in a pair of earplugs.]

[okuri]

...I didn't think it was possible for someone to be this loud when I'm losing my hearing. [ He might actually be impressed, he's not sure yet.]

[watchmewhippersnapper]

[She can be rather impressive in...certain areas. Not so much in others.]

Well, if you're expecting me to find it for you, you're out of luck. That's not part of my job description.

[okuri]

Even if it was, you wouldn't be able to. [ A beat.]

Is talking like that part of your job? [ Asking earnestly because now he's curious!]

[watchmewhippersnapper]

Talking like what?

[okuri]

Very loud. [Understatement of the century.]

[watchmewhippersnapper]

I don't know what you're talking about. This is the way I always talk.

[. . .]

[okuri]

...

What is your job?

[watchmewhippersnapper]

[Well, since he asked.]

Security Guard.

[okuri]

Do you scare away the criminals by yelling at them? [That's got to be the reason, right?]

[watchmewhippersnapper]

[...some might think it was a joke...or an insult...but--]

Most of them. The smart ones.

A few troublemakers sometimes manage to slip through, but I have other methods of taking care of them as well.

[...conveniently...ignoring that one of those criminals just happened to murder someone on her set. Because...that...wasn't really a thing a Security Guard wanted to advertise.]

[okuri]

You must be a good security guard then.

[Though he tilts his head at the last part.]

You fight them?

[watchmewhippersnapper]

[Her response comes with a little less...shall we say passion...than some of her other responses:]

I'm discouraged from using physical violence unless absolutely necessary.

[That, of course, lasted until the end of that sentence before she was back.]

Don't think I won't knock some sense into any hoodlums who try and cross me! They think just because I'm an old lady that I'm a total pushover, but let me tell you, I"M the one doing the pushing right back, and believe me, they never see it coming! That's what happens when you underestimate your opponent. Words of advice to live by, so I hope you're writing all this down.

I won't even charge you for my pearls of wisdom, no matter how shining.

[okuri]

I try not to underestimate them. [ Normally all of that would be a bit too fast for him to read lips, but seeing as he can actually hear her, he follows all of it.]

That's a lot to write down.

[watchmewhippersnapper]

Then write fast. I don't have all day, you know.

[okuri]

...I'll just remember it.

[watchmewhippersnapper]

Even better.

Assuming your memory is as good as mine, of course.

[okuri]

I'm good at mental arithmetic. [That counts, right?]

[watchmewhippersnapper]

I suppose that'll have to do for now.

Try not to feel too discouraged, though. Give yourself time. Maybe you'll be better when you're older.

[okuri]

I don't need to worry about that, but thank you.

[dhaosu]

[ Cutting in here, bc why not. ]

I did not think a human of her age could be so...loud. Does her screaming sound like regular shouting to you?

[okuri]

[ He thinks for a second.]

She's louder than Rhys. It's similar...yes.

[...]

It's not bad to hear like this. Do you think there's something like her with food? [ Quick, someone find him the most strongest tasting food because now he needs to know.]

[dhaosu]

Ah, yes. I almost forgot about him.

[ Said fondly like one would have for a gnat they thought went away. Forever. ]

That said, if there is a food like that, I'm sure it can be found easily enough. Especially if it had enough spices.

[okuri]

It's easier for me to remember things I hate rather than people I liked. [ Just doing his best to forget about Sadie and Poland, but his hate for Rhys could live on.]

Takao tried with the spices before, that didn't work. [Frowning at this, because he wants to be hopeful but that's not reassuring.]

[dhaosu]

Indeed.

[ Whether he remembered the people he liked speaking to or no, those he disliked were a bit easier to recall.

Honestly, he didn't pay too much to food things because he didn't have to eat it... ]

Not even with something truly 'hot'? Or perhaps it'd have to be extraordinarily full of flavor...

[okuri]

I can feel heat but I tried wasabi before and I couldn't taste that either.

Maybe full of flavor would work... [Theoretically that's the closest equivalent to Oldbag's yelling?]