Concerned AU!Kylo/Rey spawn is concerned.

[vaner_solo]

Dear Mister Mun Player Guy,

I really don't want to be here. I mean, I'd love to meet everyone. I think. So long as they're not part of the First Order that Father defeated. But I really can't stay here. It's not safe. I need to go find a Jedi Master or maybe run away like Grandpa Han used to or something. I don't know. What I do know is something's very wrong with me, so it's better if I'm not near anyone. I don't want to hurt anyone.

I don't want to be 'strong with the Force'. I can't get rid of it, though. I can only get rid of me. So if you could help me hide and not look for people for me to talk to, that'd probably be better... [He scrubs at his eyes, tiredly.] Oh, if I could please have some coffee, that'd be good, too. I like the black stuff. It works better.

Thanks,
Vaner Solo

Comments

[prefersblasters]

Oh no no no I'm not giving you caf and getting you all wound up.

But we can hide together if you like.

[vaner_solo]

If I don't have caf I'll sleep, Uncle Finn. That's when all the worst visions happen. [But have a tiny hug, regardless.]

Can we hide somewhere cold? With tauntauns?

[prefersblasters]

[Have a big hug in return, and a hair ruffle.]

Of course. We can hide wherever you like! And you know I won't let anything get you, don't you? I'll watch over you while you sleep.

[vaner_solo]

[He hugs Finn back tightly, clearly exhausted.] I don't think visions work that way, Uncle Finn. They even happen when Mom's around and Mom can be scary. [Rey is not a woman to be crossed. Her son knows this and is in awe of it.]

[prefersblasters]

[ Now that's something they can agree on. Finn nods solemnly and keeps holding the little boy. ] Your Mom's not someone to be messed with. All the bad guys know better, and the ones who didn't have learned. [ But if there's nothing Rey can do about it, then... Well. He'd rather not think about the "then." ]

But now it's just you and me, and you wanting to stay awake, so let's do something fun.

[vaner_solo]

Uncle Chewie's the only one allowed to argue with her.

[He bites his lip thoughtfully.] What do you want to do? I don't know what we can do here. Unless my mun lets my tauntaun come play with us.

[prefersblasters]

[ Finn ends up looking just as thoughtful, and just as lost. As much as he likes to spend time his nephew, he lacks the experience of a normal childhood, with normal games. It wasn't exactly a priority in the First Order. ]

We could ask her. It's pretty boring here for a kid, isn't it?

[vaner_solo]

I know I'm not allowed to cook, not even here. I tried to make a giant cake and somehow it ended up making a big fire. I'm not sure how that happened... I can make tauntaun treats, though.

...maybe we could tame a wild tauntaun here. They like me because I can show them with the Force I don't want to hurt them.

[prefersblasters]

[ Finn's eyes widen in alarm, he raises his hands as if to ward off certain painful doom at the hands of Rey. ] Oh no no no no no bad idea, kid! Very bad idea. We did say your mom is scary, remember? You got any idea what she's going to do with me if she learns I helped you sneak out and try to tame wild tauntauns?

Let's make it a new rule we won't play anything that's going to get us hunted down by your mom, okay?

[vaner_solo]

She likes you, though. She calls you a 'finnamon roll' sometimes. I don't think she'd be mad. And Teetee has to be lonely, being the only tauntaun around. Haven't you ever been lonely, Uncle Finn? He just needs a friend.

is his dad around? because Finn is starting to think tauntaun hunting should be delegated xD

[prefersblasters]

[ Not the pleading. Not the sadness. Kids being sad is cheating. ]

I... guess? I don't know if tauntauns live in her... [ No. Not giving the kiddo ideas of his own herd here. ] Pairs. We could look it up? Bet that would be way more fun than trotting through the snow and chasing wild tauntauns.

He's scared of his dad. He has Force Visions about the Kylo Ren days.

[vaner_solo]

But he could fall in love with a girl tauntaun and have babies. Then I could have all the tauntauns I want, and go live on Hoth as a tauntaun trainer and never be a Jedi and never go evil and never hurt anyone.

I had a Force vision where I wasn't evil. I was a grown up and I had a blue lightsaber and lived where there was lots and lots of snow. I think I'm supposed to go hide somewhere cold. But I don't really know where exactly...

poor bitty, that must be so hard for their family

[prefersblasters]

[ What... do you even say when a little kid tells you this?

He crouches down before the little boy, and takes his hand. ] Now listen to me, Vaner, you're not going to go evil. I know you. You don't have it in you to go evil. [ But they probably said the same about his father once... ] If you grow up to be a Jedi you'll be a good one, and protect people. [ He smiles, though it's slightly forced. ] But if you'd rather be a tauntaun trainer that's okay, too. You can grow up to be whatever you want.

They're a bundle of broken hearts, yeah.

[vaner_solo]

But I see it, Uncle Finn. Almost every night now! I go evil and use this red lightsaber that's curved, and I k-kill people and - and I get their blood on my hands so I run it through my hair - and then when I get past the temple guards there... there are these, these little kids and I...

[He's shaking, tears welling up in his eyes, shaken down his cheeks by the tremors of his body, his breathing picking up pace. He backs away a little, trying to swipe at his eyes and not break down. He's ten. He's too old to be crying like this.] I don't w-wanna be a Jedi. I don't want to hurt anybody! Not even to help other people. I don't... [He remembers the way blood felt streaking his slicked-back hair and shudders violently.] I don't want the Force at all!

[prefersblasters]

[ Is it very immature to want to kick Vaner's father for the terrible legacy he'd created decades ago? Because Finn really wants to right now.

His smile wavers as he gently wipes the tears from the little boy's face. Just a little boy, even if he tries so hard to be brave. Even his father had been older than that when it happened. ] I know. And that's alright, not wanting it. You don't have to be a Jedi. You don't have to do anything you don't want to. All we want is for you to be happy. [ Finn falls silent again, looking down as he tries to think of something that will make it better. But he can't really offer more than empty words, can he? So he just pulls him gently into his arms. ] I trust you not to hurt me. I know you're good.

Appropriate music: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pFjryf8zH_M

[vaner_solo]

[He blinks up at Finn, trying to keep it together. It's hard to be rational when tired and he's been tired for what seems like months now. Sleep is an enemy waiting to dig its' claws in and drag him back to the dreams, and he can't outrun it forever.

Vaner lets himself be held, wishing that he could be normal, that he could have never developed Force powers. He wished he could run away to train tauntauns and be happy. But his parents weren't about to let a ten year old run off to Hoth, and Ben was worried sending him away would make the situation worse like it had in his own youth.

Force, Vaner is tired of feeling so trapped.] I don't feel good. And everybody says the Force does stuff and makes stuff happen. So I don't think it matters what I want. It'll make me evil anyway, [he says, almost resigned to it, mostly afraid.]

aaaah that song! so much sad

[prefersblasters]

No, no, it won't...

[ But Finn trails off helplessly, because words are nothing but promises in the end and these are empty. He can give no guarantees. Nobody can.

He brushes the little boy's hair back from his face and smiles gently, trying very hard to appear cheerful and hopeful, and not even half as concerned as he is.] You know, there's a very smart man who once told me "that's not how the Force works." I still haven't fully figured out how it works, but I don't want to believe there's any power in the galaxy that can decide our lives for us. I don't think we're born to be good or evil. We all have to make a choice, even if it's much harder for some of us to make the right choice. And I know you're going to choose to be good.