Mid-season love/homeless

[notaafraidanymore]

This...all of this. It wasn't suppose to be this way. Those people, the tower, the herd and that other issue...

I was doing what I had to in order to keep everyone alive! Keep us alive. Even if it meant more killing, more blood on my hands. I do it because it's the only way. That's how it is now. We are better than that, than them. Why can't he see that? Why can't he seem to understand that sometimes you have to kill...

I'm better than them...

Or am I?

Monsters at every corner but what's worse are the monsters inside and I don't mean inside these walls..

Comments

[lerner]

[This spiel sounds all too familiar to her. She can't help but let out a broken laugh while shaking her head at the woman.]

Nothing's ever the way it's supposed to be. Not anymore.

[notaafraidanymore]

[Her eyes narrow slightly at the woman. Carol hasn't forgotten what happened and she's rather surprised this woman has the nerve to dare speak to her]

Does this actually apply to you? Or are you just a bit bitter?

[lerner]

It applies. [maybe a little bitter too, but mostly relevant.] You know? You're sounding a lot like how I used to be.

[notaafraidanymore]

[Carol gives a faint little laugh] Used to be? We were never alike. Not even close.

I have lost all control over this one...

[lerner]

[Dawn would give the woman a 'smile', the kind that's laced with a smug undertone.] Doing what you gotta do to keep others alive, killing because you have to...monsters. [It was Dawn's turn to give a faint little laugh back.] You'd be surprised just how similar we are.

She's been missed....

[notaafraidanymore]

[This is one woman you do not want to push over the edge Dawn because it doesn't take much these days]

I killed those people to protect the ones I care for. To keep them alive and safe. You were keeping people at a hospital against their will. Letting them die if they weren't of use to you...

Many hearts for you!

[lerner]

They were there of their own will. We saved people, gave them a chance to survive when the world didn't give a damn about them. Only reason anyone of them died was because there was nothing more we could do for them. It wasn't an easy thing.

Sometimes you have to make a choice to save one, or sacrifice one to save many. I'm sure you know this by now.

Squeeeee :D! <3

[notaafraidanymore]

You're lying! [She hisses lowly] you kept the weak. Those you thought or knew wouldn't or couldn't stand against you or those other officers. Thre way you just turned your head and allowed your people to treat those patients the way you did...

And some people just don't deserve to live because they want you or your group dead. People kike tgat beed to die. The bad people, the monsters...

:D! <3 Holiday madness ensues~ So very late! ;-;

[lerner]

'Lying?' [This would prompt a scoff from Dawn.] No. [She shook her head.] They were 'weak' because of what happened to them. Resources were limited – we didn't have everything we needed to tend to every one who was there, but we did what we could with what we had. Those who progressed, got a chance to pay back what they owed. Once that debt was paid, they were free to leave. But we weren't about to send them out when they weren't ready, to save them only to have them get killed in the end. No... We weren't about to let that happen. My officers did what was necessary. Wasn't always right, but it kept all of those people safe – I was keeping those people safe.

[She'd pause and think for a moment. Bad people, the monsters...a broken laugh came out thinking about it.]

You're right. People like that do need to die. [Gorman, O'donnell...] It's the only way any one of us are gonna survive; Those left anyway.

*Pets for yooouuu* :D

[notaafraidanymore]

You and your people made it hard for those debts to be paid. Honestly why should there even be a debt for saving their life? You killed those you feared would fight against you, turn on you. Just like you sit back and allowed your officers to do as they wished to those patients. In the end it wasn't so right was it?

[She's quick to raise an eyebrow slightly]

In the end nothing really changes. People still die...

Speaking of monsters

[damnshane]

Never thought I'd see the day those kind of words would come out of you of all people.

Major arm flail and then just deadz.....

[notaafraidanymore]

[Her eyes some what soften as do her rather delicate but broken features]

Lots changed since you've been gone. I've changed. All of us have...

Nooo you must live! :O

[damnshane]

Heh... I always wondered how the group would turn out without me there... Under Rick's leadership.

[a pause]

Did he make it? Carl? ...Lori?

Wellllll okies!!!! :D

[notaafraidanymore]

[It's funny how even with him Carol is quick to keep her distance. A man who use to be apart of the group,a group she now does anything to protect, anything...]

Rick has changed. He's done all he can to keep all of us alive, even though many of us aren't left...

[She glances away slightly at the mention of Lori. Another soul long gone from them]

Rick is still alive, yes. So is Carl last time I saw them both. Rick keeps him safe, he tries his best to do that for all of us. [She then shakes her head slightly before she speaks again] Lori didn't make it [she replirs lowly, the sorrow lingering along her voice]

She has been gone for awhile now. Lot of them have. T, Hershel, Beth, Andrea.... [She tilts her head slightly as she gazes at him]

Yay! :D

[damnshane]

[He doesn't say anything about Carol keeping her distance. Hell he wasn't sure he wouldn't be doing the same if he saw himself alive after what happened. It was strange how it didn't feel like he'd been gone long. Truth was, he didn't feel much of anything after bleeding out.]

That so? [Changed...The thought brought on a broken laugh. Yeah... He bet he did. He felt his muscles start to tense when he heard her say there weren't many of them left.

His expression went serious, more-so than normal listening as she went on to say Rick and Carl were alive still. Shane's eyes looked to the ground. He wouldn't say it, but it made him feel relieved Rick was managing to keep Carl safe. He sure as hell couldn't. Then again, Rick made sure of that. He felt anger rise inside him not able to help but to clench a fist at his side. And then it hit him...

His eyes darted up almost in a panic when the news about Lori struck him. Instantly he felt as if someone had knocked the wind out of him as his heart sunk to the pit of his stomach.] Wha...What do ya mean she didn't... [He raised a shaky hand to the side of his head feeling it slump down over his mouth as if to literally yank the words out.] ...She didn't make it? [He knew. Dammit, he knew. But the words came out practically in a stammer not able to make right of his emotions and logic.] Lori... A–Andrea...? [Shit. It was a double shot to the gut hearing that. He felt the strength in his legs give out as he fell to his knees. The two women he cared about, and the one woman he loved... gone...]

Pets for yooouuu!!! :D

[notaafraidanymore]

[It was the opposite for Carol, hell all of them. It felt like a life time had passed since Shane and the others had gone but pain and guilt had a cruel way of doing that to people doesn't it? Carol still rememberd him, she hadn't forgotten any of them or how they died. She held that with her, in a way it haunted her but in the end it was motivation to keep her living, fighting]

Don't act so bitter by him. Rick has done good, best he can for us. All of us.

[She wasn't a bit surprised by his reaction when she gave him the heart breaking news about not only Lori but Andrea as well. She watched the pain itch along hus features and then he came crashing down to his knees as if someone had knocked him there. ]

They didn't make it, Shane... [She repeated a bit more firmly than before. She allowed him his moment, like she had once told Daryl it was better to feel than to keep it all locked in, she just couldn't allow herself to feel anything. She then decided to dare take a step towards him but she also dared him to try anything against her.

Slowly she reached out and placed a delicate hand along his strong shoulder]

Lori died in child birth. There wasn't really a way to save her. That's that. Even she knew it I suppose but the baby survived. Carl named her Judith.

She's still alive and she's looking more like Lori every day.

/crawls out of a ditch

[damnshane]

[The temptation to just lash out and push away was dangling in front of him like a carrot on a string to a running rabbit. Shit. He was still weakened by the emotional blow to his heart, his mind, his body slow to recover from it. Shane just shook his head, hands at his face trying to keep it together. But he couldn't. He needed this – Needed to feel.]

No...

[He felt Carol's hand along his shoulder. His muscled tensed trying to resist the urge to pull away, run away, burry himself back from where he came. But he couldn't. Nothing he did would change what had been said, what was done, what he couldn't protect.

Fuck.]

Child birth? ...Lori... She... She had a child? [He began to draw a hand away from his face looking to Carol curiously – Perplexed – Confused.] ...Judith... [So many feelings...]

helps you up outta ditch

[notaafraidanymore]

[The moment of shock that washes over the man before gives Carol the time she needs to take another step back in order to gain back her distance. It had to sound insane to say a child could survive in this world, that alone a baby, toddler.

God knows her own child didn't make it or other children...]

Don't get any ideas... [She warned him lowly. ]

She's been a handful from time to time but she's alive. Guess you can say she's what little hope some of us have left....