dear_mun | Chapter 465 Reactions/Spoilers

He hasn't failed..! Natsu will...we'll still find a way to stop you, and the rest of the army. ...

[ She...hopes. She really doesn't like the implication of Natsu giving his life to end Zeref's - and oh, she'd give that dragony bastard a piece of her mind if she finds out too. ]

Perhaps it would still be possible for him to access his true nature as an Etherious, but given that exchange, I am not optimistic. He is as stubborn and impulsive now as he ever was.

... he is. That's why ... that's why I'm saying he hasn't failed. Natsu- and Fairy Tail- isn't going to give up.

[ Can't give up. That's not even an option. Too much was at stake -- and didn't they always come out on top when they were pushed into the worst of situations...? Surely... even now... .

Still, what a cruel thing to put Natsu through. ]

No, I should expect not. Perhaps it isn't a coincidence that my younger brother, Layla's daughter, and two other Dragon Slayers all ended up in the same guild - the one founded by Mavis. Fate has an odd, if cruel, sense of humor. But if I have learned nothing else about all of you, it is that your tenacity is to be admired.

If only we didn't have to be enemies. Either I die, or this world does. The last four hundred years has proven to me that we both cannot exist at once.

{ Zeref won't deny that it was cruel. It was his wish to see Natsu have a chance to truly live, even if he had to sacrifice his very humanity to see it happen. Too bad he also saw how shitty the entire planet was over the course of those 400 years, and that it refused to change, generation after generation. }

Forget Fate! We make our own fates, with our own two hands ..! [ She clenches her fists- if only. ]

Then stand down. Call off your army, go back to your own country - or go back to the island where it all began! Don't give me that 'We both cannot exist' garbage! That's just selfish! You're not above anyone else- and if you're going to keep saying that we're all the same, and that no one changes you're either blind or you're lying to yourself.

I wish it were that easy, Lucy. I had been content to stay on 'the island where it all began,' even neglecting my duties as Emperor in the process. I had thought that I could stay there, shut away from the world, with only Mavis' presence for company, even if I could not hear her, see her, or touch her.

Precht, driven mad by his delusional idea of the origins of the One Magic, came looking for me. What you suggest was something that I wanted, but was denied.

You gave up that easily - because one maniac came looking for you, and found you. That's pathetic. If you really wanted to stay away from people, to hide away from the rest of the world, then you would have tried harder.

[ Heck, Mavis could probably have hidden the island away once everyone was gone. Boom, problem solved..? ]

Knowing Mavis, that entire arrangement was based on the premise that she never intended for anybody, not even Fairy Tail, to find out I was using their 'holy ground' as my home. It gave the rest of you plausible deniability that you weren't harboring the Black Wizard from the Magic Council. That entire island, her grave, all a lie, designed to cover up Fairy Heart's existence, the origins of the guild itself, the fact that she is not and never was dead, and added to that, my presence. Even if I wanted to, I could not go back.

Where, then? Edolas? From what I understand, it is worse than Ishgar. The Celestial Spirit World? Even if that were possible, I doubt the Celestial Spirit King would be amenable to the idea. Bosco? A corrupt cesspool. The army I sent did Boscans a favor.

{ Headcanon time: Slavery was outlawed in Alvarez from day one. }

As for simply staying in Alvarez, content to rule as they wish me to do, burying the name 'Zeref Dragneel' in favor of 'Spriggan' forever... would you believe me if I said that truly don't wish to be Emperor? They're merely a means to an end. { No pun intended. } A game I've been playing, to pass the time, with the end result of killing Acnologia.

[ Yeah, she wouldn't even have to confer with the spirits to know they wouldn't allow him there. ]

Uggh.. Listen to yourself! You really think you can hold yourself above 'mortal' people! You preach on about how people never learn and they're all horrible examples of human beings, but you're no better! Edolas might have been bad at the beginning, but the is at least trying to fix things for the better. [ And with magic running out, he wouldn't have to worry about his magic going crazy -- because he wouldn't have any. And.. okay outlawing slavery isn't a bad thing, but ... ]

Human lives are not toys. [ Cringing slightly at the 'means to an end' comment. Really Zeref? Puns? REALLY? BAD Dark Wizard. No cookie. ]

Lives are not a -game-.

You're right. The reputation of the Black Wizard was well-earned, if based upon a misconception. Regardless, you should desire my death as well.

{ He won't comment; he's never been to Edolas, he has no intention of going, and back when he was at Midlian, its existence was dismissed as a myth. But if he knew that, he might have thought it was worth a try; though whether or not it actually worked was another story, considering his Curse is, well a divine Curse, not magic he intentionally learned. }

Do you know how the Curse of Contradictions works, Lucy?

I'm not so cold hearted as to wish someone dead.

[ Not if there was any alternative, although she strongly STRONGLY disliked him. ~~This opinion was bound to change if she found out his connection to her mother, mind...~~ The question brings pause, it popping up so suddenly. ]

I, er... not..really. [ Beyond what little she's gleaned anyway. ] Besides the obvious... [ And Mashima-sensei might change the rules because contradictions. That troll. ]

Then you condemn the lives of all future victims of my Curse.

{ Zeref sighed. He should have known Mavis wouldn't go too far into detail, when explaining it. }

The more I value the lives of others, the more the Curse steals them. Paradoxically, if I see no value in the lives of others, they are perfectly safe from it, unless I activate it on my own free will.

By seeing the lives of Alvarez' citizens as disposable, like pieces on a chess board, they are safe from my Curse. That is not to say that I am cruel to my subjects; anyone in Alvarez would tell you that any time I return to Vistarion is a cause for celebration. I told you that I see running an Empire as akin to a game. It is just a game that I happen to be very, very good at playing.

And that is where you're completely WRONG. You don't get to try to pin the deaths of 'future victims' on me because I won't wish you were dead. That's just dumb. Your curse is not a sentient creature that's going to jump out of your body and hunt down a bunch of random civilians and kill them just because you're alive. You can still avoid the deaths of people by NOT being near them.

Ugh. I think I'm going to be sick. [ That curse, that mentality, who can say - maybe a mix of all of it. It'll be nice if they get to take down that 'God' and eliminate his 'Curse'. ]

And I tried that. I'm tired of living like this. It would drive anybody insane, and I have had it for four hundred years. I wish to die. Natsu is the only one who can make that happen.

{ If they want to kill Ankhseram - if such a thing is even possible - he'd be all for it. He would probably even want to help them do it, if only to ensure that nobody ever has to suffer the way he and Mavis suffered ever again. A God as cruel as Ankhseram deserves to be destroyed. }

[ But you can't help them out if you're dead, Zeref! CONTRADICTION :D ]

Why?

... not, why you're tired of living like that... but why him? Why would you put your own brother through that? Why TELL him you were his brother, and upset him more?

The practical answer is that, he can. The more complicated answer is that all that I am today was due to my efforts to resurrect him. It's only fitting that he be the one to end my life. Otherwise, I suppose I could just have let Acnologia try to his hand at it. { Yes, he went there. Hand. Singular. } But if there truly is one last thing I want to do before I die, it's that I don't want to leave that... thing behind in Earth-Land.

{ Zeref sighs. There's... probably more to it than him feeling that Natsu is the only one who can actually do it or even has the right to do it, of course. But, well, Mashima. }

Put simply, he has the right to know. Of course I could have just let him kill me and spend the rest of his life in blissful ignorance, but I would argue that that would have been even worse.

[Mavis stays silent for a bit. It's so hard seeing him like this, seeing what damage the curse has kept making to the only one she ever loved over all this years.

But she can't accept it. And she won't.]

Have you completely forgotten about that other wish you once had? [With her.] Have you ever thought that... maybe death doesn't want you?

[Maybe that's her way of dealing with the Contradiction Curse.]

Edited 2015-12-07 20:14 (UTC)

A wish that was granted to you in my stead. { ... sort of. } I will not accept a fate so cruel as to take you, the person who deserved this curse the least in all the world, and not me. If that is the kind of world we live in, then it should be destroyed.

{ Maybe Layla - and Mavis - were right. Maybe the One Magic is love. Maybe it can create miracles, even by magical standards. But if so, it's just as cruel as Ankhseram for killing her, and not the both of them. }

Edited 2015-12-07 20:19 (UTC)

[She shakes her head.] Our wish was not to die together back then. [Even if it would have made everything so much easier in retrospect.]

Nor to help the other die. [Because they thought it was impossible, but she would disregard that because it was not relevant to her point.]

We wanted to find a reason to keep on living. To get our lives back. We refused our Curse, the same way you refused your brother's death. ...At least that was my wish.

And I thought... [She pauses and finally looks back at him, right in the eye.] No, I know it was yours too. Remember, Zeref... The One Magic... We can still find it.

[Part of him has to remember that. Part of him has to still believe in that.]

{ Zeref was silent for several seconds. He can't deny a single thing she's saying; it was all true, even if it was 100 years ago. Yes, they did think it was impossible, though that was proven wrong in the worst possible way. Even if Mavis wasn't really 'dead,' she might as well be, in the state she's in, stuck in that crystal, driving Hades insane and being the stated reason for Alvarez's invasion.

And he put her there. }

And for a brief moment, I had wanted to, as well. { Look where it got you, he wanted to say, but swallowed the words. } You were the first true glimmer of hope I had since the creation of E.N.D. And you were taken from me as quickly as I had allowed myself to feel it.

{ Zeref sighs, looking away as she mentions the One Magic. }

And if we do? Pre--... Hades thought that I was its source. In hindsight, perhaps he wasn't entirely wrong. But you know better than I how he reached that conclusion. Even if we did find it, I've all but given up hope that this Curse will ever end in any way other than my death. I'm tired of allowing myself to feel hope, only for Ankhseram to crush it. Least of all if it ends up hurting you.

{ And no, "Zeref dying" and "not hurting Mavis" somehow don't register as a contradiction to him. }

Edited 2015-12-07 20:37 (UTC)

[Mavis bit her lip. Too many painful memories were being brought to the surface. But she braced herself and shook her head once more.]

You're wrong. It was not taken from you, it was transferred to me. And it's been growing inside my heart, so now there's enough for both of us to share. [It was the magic of hope.] Ankhseram... will not always be able to reach us. Not everywhere. [She was going to hold onto that piece of hope too.

Her eyes narrowed at the last part. She however did see the contradiction plain as day.] You don't want to hurt me? And what, do you think, would hurt me more? [To be honest, she died peacefully back then. Happy even. The pain came when she was brought back.]

You could have enough for the entire world, but you would still be beyond my reach. You and I both know that your guild will not give me Fairy Heart without a fight. And even if they did, Mavis... this battle between Natsu and I was mandated by fate long before you were ever born.

{ He knows exactly what she's talking about. The games they're in, now. And while they may be true - to a point - Zeref's desire to die isn't easily shed. But if anyone - anyone - could change that... it was Mavis Vermillion. }

I can't go on living like this, Mavis. You of all people should know what it is like to do so.

I won't believe that statement until it's actually verified. Many things we used to take for facts ended up proven false. Why not this? Listen... I want nothing more. But it will not be at the cost of the lives of all the other people I've sworn to protect. [She wants the two of them to be reunited. More than anything. But destroying her guild and the world is a no-no, Zeref. And she knows he knows that. It's probably even one of the reasons why he fell in love with her in the first place.] And being young has never stopped me from changing fate before. You of all people should know that. [Remember? That's how she got cursed in the first place. And she would do it again, without a second thought.]

[She takes a step forward, and another one. And another one. Soon they're almost close enough to hug.] I do remember how it feels. I still feel it now. But if it all ends up like this, then what was the point of all you did? Of all we did before? What's the point of putting up with it for so long?

{ He's silent for several seconds after that. It wasn't terribly long ago that he wouldn't have wanted it to come to this. He still wishes he was back on Tenroujima with her, undisturbed. Or, even better, that she had never died, and that she had taken him up on his offer to take her back to Alvarez. Maybe even as the Empress so many people in Alvarez have been clamoring for.

And it would be no coincidence that she would look suspiciously like the Goddess depicted in Lejenca. }

Yes. Using Law, even as I explicitly told you not to do so without years of training, first.

{ He's unsure if teaching her that was a good thing or not, now. On one hand, he would have never fallen in love with her if he hadn't, since her being Cursed like he was led to him having feelings for her. On the other... he wouldn't wish this Curse on his worst enemy. }

I let myself believe you before. It is how I fell in love with you. It was that love that did... that, to you. Perhaps it is another contradiction, but to allow myself to feel that kind of hope again could only place you further in danger. I can't go through that, again.

That is why I am forcing myself to see Fairy Heart as magic, and not as you, yourself.

[She shakes her head.]

I think you're underestimating how stubborn Natsu-san—and Fairy Tail—can be. I'm sure we'll find a way to grant your wish. And without losing Natsu-san!

[A pause.]

...Though, if we could save you from the curse, I would prefer we take that route.

[While she may say that, she isn't certain whether it would be possible. Fairy Tail may have forgiven some of its past enemies, but would their kindness extend to one of the most malevolent wizards in history?]

[Well said, Wendy. Fairy Tail for the win!]

I assure you, the last thing I would do is underestimate how thickheaded my brother can be. { Though, as Mavis herself has pointed out before, they're not terribly different in that regard. Zeref's just much, much better at thinking it through, first. }

Were such a thing possible, I might have considered such an offer, once. I am done allowing myself to hope for this. The last time I did... I lost the one I love.

Your somber talk's starting to get on my nerves. Out of everyone, you should have more faith in Natsu. He's an idiot, but he's also stubborn, and he doesn't give up if he's failed.

If he doesn't stop you, I'll kick his ass until he does. You have my word.

It is a bit more complicated than that, at this point, Gray.

Chapter 465 Reactions/Spoilers

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This chapter ;;

I know ;;

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