Canon is The Dukes of Hazzard television show

[rosco_coltrane]

Allll right. You got me, now what're you plannin' on doing with me? Huh?! There ain't no Boss here and no Dukes for me to chase. Flash ain't even here...

*sends Flash*

Oh. Well. Thank you. That still don't give me much to do though! I'm a sheriff! I'm supposed to chase down crooks, like them Duke boys and their confederates. I can't just laze around in your shifty brain. Heck, even Enos needs more to do than that, kee! You got one person for me to interact with. You better be going and finding something for me to do.

Comments

[knight_2000]

If the General Lee shows up, we may have something to talk about.

[rosco_coltrane]

*He rolls his eyes*

Well, if you wanna race, them Duke boys'll be happy to give ya one. All they do is tear around Hazzard in that junker of theirs. That and cause mischief for me to clean up!

[knight_2000]

I assure you, Officer, I never cause mischief. My driver, on the other hand....

A race would hardly be fair, given my capabilities.

[rosco_coltrane]

Oo. [Rosco was only now noticing he was talking to...a car. He swallowed and blustered on.] Well, the General Lee ain't no ordinary car, even if it is an old junker owned by them no account Dukes! I ain't seen it beat yet and it's been tried a lot.

[knight_2000]

I'm sure it's extraordinary in its own way. I'll keep in mind what you've said about it. Although I take it that it does require a driver, yes?

[Unlike Rosco, Kitt is completely unperturbed]

[rosco_coltrane]

Yeah. It's driven by Bo and Luke Duke. They're a couple of no accounts on probation for running moonshine.

[knight_2000]

Ah, 'them Duke boys' have names after all. Good heavens, no wonder you seem so distressed about them. I can see you're keeping a watchful eye over them. Good work, Officer.

[rosco_coltrane]

Well. Thank you kindly. [He utter beams, not used to receiving praise for his work.] I'm Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane. Uh. What're you called?

[knight_2000]

[Kitt knows full well that there are some corrupt law enforcement officers out there, but so far this sheriff only seems to genuinely want to see justice served. He can get behind that idea]

You're welcome, Sheriff Coltrane. Quite the impressive name. It would certainly roll off the tongue, if I had one. My name is KITT - the Knight Industries Two Thousand, to be more precise. But as that is a bit of a mouthful, KITT will be fine. I'm in law enforcement myself. It's always a pleasure to meet a colleague.

[rosco_coltrane]

Thanks. I like it. Good to meet you, Kitt. Your driver is a policeman?

[knight_2000]

The pleasure is mine, Sheriff Coltrane. My driver is an ex-policeman; he was actually an undercover detective before I knew him. Circumstances having changed, he and I are now freelancers, going after those criminals that normal law enforcement agencies either can't or won't.

[rosco_coltrane]

You're vigilantes, you mean? That's naughty. Not that I'm judging. Sometimes the law needs a little help. It could get you in big trouble though.

[knight_2000]

Vigilantes? Of course not! [Kitt sounds indignant now, Sheriff!] More like... private investigators, reliably funded. And we always work within the boundaries of the law, and comply with other law enforcement officers. We wish to work together, not against one another.

[He and Michael often push those boundaries, though. And the laws are pretty flexible]

[rosco_coltrane]

[Rosco blushes a bit, nodding his understanding.]

I see what ya mean, yes. I didn't mean to jump to no conclusions. I'm kinda use to some people interfering in police business...a couple of locals who can't avoid trouble, even when they try.

[knight_2000]

It's quite all right, Sheriff. I'm not offended. I do so understand the frustrations of having someone continually interfering with the good work you're trying to do. I know it annoys me when that happens.

But these locals - they don't mean to get into trouble? Is that what I hear you saying?

[rosco_coltrane]

Well, it's hard to tell with the Dukes. They used to run shine, but have supposedly gone straight. They like tearing around in their car and always end up finding trouble. Y'know what they say about smoke and fire.

[knight_2000]

Why did they stop? Do you not believe that they've gone straight?

[Kitt can't say anything tearing around in a car...]

Sheriff, I hope you don't change your opinion of me if I tell you that I enjoy some tearing around myself. And trouble usually follows, unfortunately. Or perhaps I should say that I'm chasing the trouble?

[Kitt is becoming more and more interested in meeting these Dukes for himself]

[rosco_coltrane]

Oh their uncle cut a deal with the government. They got probation in exchange for promising to not make or run moonshine anymore. I guess they've mostly kept their word, but their family ran shine for over a century. I just find it hard to believe they'd up and quit.

[Rosco blinked in surprise, then shook his head firmly. He gives a laugh.]

What we do ain't tearing around! It's hot pursuit! How're we supposed to catch criminals, if we can't keep up with them? Shoot. I enjoy the chase too! It's what we do, after all.

[knight_2000]

Oh my. That is a long time, isn't it? Have you found any evidence of illicit activities? Stills, transport, customers? What sorts of things do they do that cause you to pursue them otherwise?

[Kitt takes a moment to process this information, deciding the Sheriff is correct]

You do have a point there. If they run, we're rather obligated to chase after them, aren't we? So long as care is taken to protect those not involved. And I must say, I do quite like it...

[rosco_coltrane]

Well, not yet. I did see them buy a bunch of copper pipe once, but that got complicated. They probably weren't actually running shine then. At least we didn't find evidence. They speed a lot. And they tend to be close by, when banks are robbed or stolen goods show up. It always seems to end up being someone else's fault, though.

[Rosco nodded eagerly.]

That's how I see it. I love hot pursuit, kee! Oh they're ain't usually anyone around, during our chases. We stick to back country roads.