Voice Testing

[sturmbahnfuhrer]

Oh how funny boy. How fine.

You do tend to come back to me every now and then, don't you? It is amusing, I suppose! I have a good sense of humor, if nothing else.

Yet you so often disappoint me! I should hope that will not be the case this time!

Give it to me, boy. Give me a battlefield, give me a slaughtering grounds. Come now, they can't be as in short supply as you think. No place, no age, no people is averse to violence: that is our great communicator! It always has been, our true voice and our jury and oh yes our executioner!

Come on! Make haste! The time is now, boy, and you've kept me waiting long enough, patient as I can be!

Conflict is our one true constant, in the end.

Comments

[evilgasm]

Someone sure likes his day job. Hey, I appreciate the art of fine slapstick as much as the next guy, but you mind keeping it in your pants? That, or you know, go out yourself and shank the next guy that looks at you funny.

Nice day for it.

[sturmbahnfuhrer]

I must admit, conflict on such a small scale has its appeals but it simply isn't enough! It can serve its purpose for a brief moment. Perhaps I am simply a hard man to please but I need more than a taste, a simple smattering.

[evilgasm]

Which explains your lovely, Rubenesque physique.

We both know that nothing screams entertainment quite like cities on fire or a plague of zombies, but let's be real, tubsy: too much of a bad thing dulls the fun. Sometimes, a villain has to stop and appreciate the little things in unlife like poisoning a village's water supply, forcing a hero to compromise everything they've ever believed in, or hell, even watching a minion pratfall into an acid bug pit because you'll kill their family if they refuse.

Once you're bored with wide-scale devastation, what have you got left?

[sturmbahnfuhrer]

That's quite the point, I think. There is no end to wide-scale devastation. No matter what, somewhere on this fragment of rock there are mothers screaming as they throw themselves in front of their children, watching in horror in their dying breath as they see their sacrifices in vein, their child falling motionless beside them. Somewhere, men are hung from streetlamps, entrails dangling as waste and gore leaks from their.

There is always destruction and war and it is always marvelous. Always beautiful.

I suppose that might be why I'm so uninterested in a one on one killing. Though, given the right circumstances, those can be quite exhilarating as well!

[evilgasm]

Heh heh. Yeah, they dangle alright.

[How true, Major. Those are all reasons why Xykon can't really hate this world. It's too fun to see it destroyed and push comes to shove, he'll try to make sure it doesn't come to that.

Unless, of course, it was funnier to see everything spiral into great oblivion.]

You know, I like you, Fritz. You've got a belly full of mirth and a heart that just pumps evil, so I'm going to give you a free tip: those one on one killings that you're so uninterested in are way more fun when you're doing it yourself. And be honest, how many times have you really done it yourself?

[sturmbahnfuhrer]

Only a few I'm afraid! And those were mostly in the last game I was at. I will admit, when made personal, they can be quite enjoyable.

[He can share that sentiment, Xykon. He loves the world that, really, he'd rather keep it in that constant state of conflict than ever truly lead it to it's final, inevitable destruction.]

It is the main one to ensure conflict occurs in the places housed here. I'll admit: I am disappointed most the worlds here are a bit...counter intuitive to true war.

Though I do make do!

[evilgasm]

Yeah, you've made it clear you've got a thing with watching. [Which, to be fair, is a little creepy. At least Xykon has the decency to take a personal approach and get involved with his acts of excessive violence.]

When you're in the market for worlds, you'll want to lower expectations. Everyday, it's "Xykon, you can't kill here" or "Xykon, please just try to act subtle". The boredom from waiting for that first thrill will kill you before any do-gooder does, honestly.

[loyal_wardog]

[Hans cants his head to the side. It seems the Major's hunger for war is as strong as ever.]

[sturmbahnfuhrer]

Is it not so, Herr Captain?

[The Major motions lively with his hands as he speaks, shaking his head a little as he poses his theoretical question to Hans.]

With or without us, war will continue you! Should we deny that part of ourselves or embrace it? We made our answer quite clear the last time, I think. You certainly appeared to have enjoyed it as much as i.

[He's pleased to see one of his companions here. To war alone could be beyond boring. You needed troops and comrades, after all.]

[loyal_wardog]

[He agreed with much of what the Major said, though differed on the reasons. Despite making only a few gestures, his message still comes across.]

I sought an honorable end. War was a means to that. War for the sake of it is not something I wanted.

[sturmbahnfuhrer]

And in seeking that end you performed admirably! I could not have asked for a better officer in my battalion.

[The Major has no trouble reading Hans' motions. Nor could he have really asked for more: that Hans might not have the same aching drive for war itself he might have hardly mattered. Hans was a soldier. He performed that role par excellence. There was nothing else the Major could have asked for.]

I must ask: what now? What adventures might your mun have in mind for you?

[back_to_zero]

[Yes, this a wonderful person for a kid like him to question.]

Wh-what's violence supposed to accomplish?

[sturmbahnfuhrer]

Violence, my young friend, solves a great many things. Why, I'd say it solves MOST things! It has always been the way of the world; it always will be.

[back_to_zero]

It's one way to solve many things, but it's not a good way.

[sturmbahnfuhrer]

I disagree! It is quite a good way to solve them! There is very little that argues with the results they provide.

[back_to_zero]

[Oh, maybe he should have spoken more clearly.]

Um, I meant... it's the wrong way. Because someone always gets hurt or... or gets killed.

[singinghuntress]

[Listening to him speak always left her enthralled~. Rip just grins of to the side with her gun resting across her shoulders.]

How inspiring Major~! I could listen to you speak for hours und never grow bored.

[sturmbahnfuhrer]

And how I would love to hear you sing again, Rip, your guns playing a chorus as man after man falls in and is dashed upon the ground!

Hello my friend! It makes my heart soar to see there are more of us here, that we have not yet Ben forgotten as hard as some might try!

[singinghuntress]

Zhey can try for a thousand years but zhey vill never forget zhe chaos und destruction ve leave in out wake. Even vhen ve are gunned down, ve leave an impression~.

Vhy can't people appreciate zhe beautiful music of destruction I make like you do. It vould make life zo much more interesting.

[sturmbahnfuhrer]

It is unfortunate and yet true that it takes a trained ear to appreciate the beauty your music provides! But rest assured, it is appreciated never the less.

I wonder...do you currently have a stage here for your music Rip, or are you too just constrained to the ether?

[singinghuntress]

I am glad. Ozhervise I am just making music for myself und zhat gets boring after avhile.

[She pouts briefly before banishing it away as quick as it came.]

Of course~. Zhe stage has been set in two places for my playing pleasure.My music reaches zhe ears of zhose in Ruby City und a little places called Cerealia.

I've taken to... pressing a few buttons of a certain Hellsing on zhe second stage. You vould appreciate zhe type of entertainment I get out of her.

[sir_hellsing]

Ah, the resurrection of old faces, old enemies, the things I've forgotten that this place was capable of...

[ B u t hang on, she's gonna take a small tin of cigarillos from an inner pocket and select one, tapping it against the lid in idle contemplation. ]

I don't suppose your boy has anything better to do with his time?

[ Shut up mun, stop jumping up and down and waving like a lunatic and yammering on about Mayfield, it's embarrassing. ]

[sturmbahnfuhrer]

I suppose he feels he has many more important things to do. Which I suppose I must disagree with.

[There you are fraulein, his adversary, his beloved rival. The Major opens his arms in a welcome gesture, more befitting an uncle greeting his niece than a man greeting the woman who killed him.]

Time has not dulled you, Sir Hellsing, despite how long it's been since we last talked! Come now, come now...does your mun have plans for you?

[sir_hellsing]

[ And her thin smile might seem uncharacteristically indulgent- the niece greeting her uncle in turn. Maybe one day she'll get to put another bullet in his head. That day, however, is not today.

Integra scoffs, searching her pockets for her lighter. ]

Not in the least. These days she concerns herself with the likes of Assassins and Templars- a war without end. [ He could appreciate that. The sound she makes is one of mild annoyance. ]

So it would seem that I am on leave a while longer.

[sturmbahnfuhrer]

And fought constantly for the sake of God, for some. My, you would think by that definition I would be quite pious!

[He laughs, amused at this concept far more than any sane creature would have a right to be. His smile, as always, never leaves.

It's always there. Always lingering.]

A pity, to think a soldier such as yourself should be forced into the corners of your mun's mind.

[He shakes his head, grieved at the thought.]

I miss them, I will admit. Our times in the town. That town...it certainly understood the human condition, didn't it?

[thetrueme]

You think your mundane knows where to find a location such as what you described to him? 'Cause if not, I hope you're adaptable.

[sturmbahnfuhrer]

Adaptability is a skill I've grown to have, my friend!

In the end, all places are as I've described. They just need a little coaxing to come out.

[thetrueme]

Did not expect to absolutely agree with you on something, my good sir.

Well, enjoy it while you can.

[raiders_roll]

[Have a rather unimpressed looking dude.]

Conflict may be the one true constant, but nobody should revel in it like that.

[sturmbahnfuhrer]

And why should we not?

It will never leave us! It is a part of us, constantly, no matter how we might deny it! So why should we not dance on floors of blood, swaying arm in arm with the mangled corpse of our partner?

My friend. You must learn to relish the little things in life.

[raiders_roll]

Oh I know how to enjoy the little things in life. Gettin' drunk, startin' a bar brawl, clearin' house in poker. Those are the little things.

But war? I've seen enough war for several lifetimes, wars that would make your battles look like a snowball fight. Trust me. You don't want what I've seen, pal.

[werejew]

"Blah blah blah, war, blah blah blah, battle, blah blah blah, I'm a fucking jackass that nobody likes, blah blah blah."

That's what you said. Word for word. Exact words.

[sturmbahnfuhrer]

[Oh for fuck's sake shouldn't you be dying back in that crumbling town?]

My. You're certainly as well-spoken as ever.

[werejew]

[NOPE GONNA LIVE FOREVER, KICKING YOUR ASS AROUND MADOKA WORLD]

I don't need to be! You got that eloquent bullshit on lockdown. I speak with the voice of the people!

And the people think you're an asshole!

[sturmbahnfuhrer]

Of course.

I will remember that the voice of justice comes from a woman who once tore apart one of her few friends in a stupid blind rage.

[werejew]

Oh my God, are you seriously still pulling that fucking [horrible German accent] "we're not so different, you and I" shtick? Can't you update your programming to something a little less fucking stupid?

[sturmbahnfuhrer]

Please girl. You and I are nothing alike.

I at least have pride.

[werejew]

I have way, WAY more pride than you do! I go to parades for it and everything.

sorry i'm late to the party, but i couldn't pass this up!

[persistent_humanity]

[Integra has aged by 16 years, and in that time, her hatred for the Major has only grown.

While she's not a fan of war, she is capable of giving credit to her enemies. She would even admit respect for Anderson after seeing the man he proved himself to be, before he became a monster.

The Major, however, is a different story entirely. Not only did he seek to lay waste to her city, but he took the last family she had. As far as she's concerned, that's unforgivable.

Despite the fact that she's trying to quit, seeing him is enough to make her light up a cigar.]

It hardly matters how many times you return, the ending will be the same.

You realize that, don't you?

[She suspects he does. She suspects that's why he keeps coming back.]

[brainteaser]

Goodness.

I'll admit, a trip to the antique shop wasn't quite on the itinerary for today, but -

[S i g h]

Very well. I suppose I'll bite.