dear_mun | The Nogitsune's carvaka musings

So little Stiles is left alone again, and so am I.

Don't you think it's time I did something about him? Sooner or later McCall or Hale or someone is bound to arrive that will help Stiles. That will help all of them in this desolate place. Stiles has been a good boy so far with keeping his mouth shut on how to defeat or cage me. With Captain Jack Harkness, Ianto Jones and their merry little band, that can't last forever. It would be better to see to Stiles now. Then the Beacon Hills pack has no way to find their way here. The fact that Lord Navarro has seen Chris Argent in those hallucinations doesn't help any.

I lost the Doctor, but that doesn't mean another won't come, especially with poor little Rose Tyler in my sights or Clara Oswald. Captains Harkness and Kirk have their weaknesses as well. I just have to find out what those are. What about this absent 'team' of Captain Harkness' that I've heard of? Or Kirk's crew?

Let's take care of Stiles now before it's too late. Then I can deal with the rest. There aren't enough of them to do anything about me.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I didn't use the word love. I asked about fondness. The fact that you take on companions at all, even if just to feed from a preferred source, implies fondness. A preference for that person above all the others. And I never once said that any of that about the two of us was anything more than hypothetical. To prove a point that you go against whatever it was you think you were created to be just by having to survive at the end of the world.

You said that I 'love' dark and broken things.

But I do not experience fondness either. Them being around was not bothersome. Both provided me with some entertainment. Same as I imagine you would. I am capable of doing what I must to survive. I have never denied that. What I do not understand is why you keep trying to link this with an emotional response. That confuses me when you know I'm not capable of such.

[She can't tell him that she's just spent time trapped in a metal shell that negated emotional responses and turned her emotional responses into a means to kill others. She just can't. So she stares. And then stares some more.

And eventually looks away.]

Everyone's capable of it.

[And she has to tell herself that to make herself feel better.]

[It stares right back at her blankly. If it knew that information, this conversation would make more sense to it. In its ignorance, it can only go back to what it does know.]

You humans, yes. Spirits like myself, no. You are alive. I never have been.

But what if there are humans that are trapped in things that make them like you? They're alive, but technically not at all. How can you properly exist without things like love and mercy?

[And she's close to tears now, but she's not going to actually cry in front of him. She has too much pride for that.]

How can you stand it, knowing that love equates the same as murder?

[And nope, it's probably clear by now she's definitely not talking about him anymore.]

At the heart of it, the spirit or soul or whatever word you want to use, is still human. A human is not like me. Because I possess a human and make them kill those their friends or family, they do not stop being a human.

[If her threatening tears bother the Nogitsune, it doesn't show it. Instead, its voice remains dull and calm.]

Because I do not understand or experience 'love' or 'mercy', Clara. You might as well as me what is 'good' or 'evil'.

Do you love, Clara?

Of course I love.

[It's snapped out. She still can't bring herself to look at him.]

No matter what happens, I'll always love. Why does that matter?

I'm not quite sure what it matters or why you were asking me those question, but it seems that was the answer you needed.

Humans trapped inside of things like me. When I shut someone up in their mind, they are still alive, yes, but I don't think that's what you meant.

You sound as if you've had experience with this.

I have. Very recently.

[And that's all she's elaborating, for now. She's all surly and brooding.]

You don't think that a human that loves and experiences emotion will eventually push their way back up to being in control? You must think humans are so weak.

Strange. Other than Stiles, few live through the process when my kind do that. Hunters find that it is easier to try to kill the host.

Their emotions are what makes them easy prey. It's just finding the right lever to push or pull.

Should you wish to move in, I would not stop you. You will have to learn to play Go. You might even like it. Montague has gotten better at it, and the Doctor had a promising start.

[Wait, what?]

I wasn't looking for an invitation! If I wanted to stay with you, I would. And you'd learn to enjoy it.

You would not simply move in with me, human. This is not a flophouse for your sort.

And I most assuredly would not enjoy it. Know your bounds.

You would. You'd enjoy my company and even come to ask for it.

I would not. I rescind my invitation.

Oh no. You can't just rescind it. I've already been invited. And since I know for a fact that I'm returning, I'm holding you to it.

I can and did. I will not be your object for study because you do not understand yourself now. Besides, I have no furniture. You would not like it in my den.

Like I'd want to take the time to study you. You'd be my hobby.

You are not moving into my den, human. Otherwise, I will be the first to tell Harkness. Then he can come remove you.

Jack knows better than to try and stop me when I really put my mind to something.

I believe he would stop you from living in my presence. You should give up now. I will not allow it, and you will not.

Congratulations. You're almost impossible to flirt with. But that's alright. I told Madame Vastra I could flirt with a mountain range, and wasn't lying. I'll get you to crack eventually.

Why would you flirt with me? There is no favorable outcome there, and I do not experience feelings of wanting like you do. If you want sex, merely say so.

[Wow, okay that's offensive. She points over at him.]

I don't want to have sex with you! I have plenty of other people to do that with. I was just having some fun, that's all. Try to keep up and play along.

Then why would you flirt with me? That is the prelude to things of that sort.

[It simply stares back at her, not the least bit uncomfortable or sorry.]

Because it's fun? I know you have to appreciate that, at least.

[Come on, Nogitsune. Prove you're not entirely hopeless.]

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