Looking for a game I think? Hopefully with a MGS cast.

[gematria]

[Hal stares at the subject of the entry. He's not to blame if he feels puzzled.] Huh? Why are you even doing this?

You have been pretty happy the last two years. We have the musebox, Snake is there, it's in your first language...

I know it's not like you're feeling lonely, or like it's me the one that needs more company. Maybe it's just nostalgia? Or the hype surrounding you in fandom lately.

In any case... Nostalgia is a feeling I can understand. And I guess I'm not the best person to talk about letting go of the past, either.

[He pushes his glasses. As much as he may dwell in his own inner dilemmas, in the end Hal is a man that lives for working out solutions.] So tell me, what would you like to do?

Comments

[liquid_serpent]

Dr. Emmerich. Dwelling on the past? [Because why not? He didn't have much of a future out of Shadow Moses.]

[gematria]

[Softly, because it's not like he doesn't know how this sort of nexus works.] Ah... Liquid. It's been a while, isn't it?

To be honest, it's more like my mun is doing it. But I can't really blame her either. The past has a way to stay with us, specially if we bottle it up inside. [A thing he's an expert in.]

[liquid_serpent]

[Well, he's alive which is a good thing for him.]

Yes, indeed it has. [He offered the engineer a long stare then a sly smile.] I always feel that letting go of pent up emotion helps. A good fight usually does it for me.

[gematria]

You do know I'm not the fighting sort, don't you? [Amused, he returns the smile. He still is oblivious to how long that stare was, it has been so much time since he got to interact with anybody but Dave... He's enjoying himself.]

But it is more immediate than waiting for it to explode into catharsis, which used to be my method until not too long ago - I'll give you that.

[liquid_serpent]

[That got a scoff out of him. He knows you're not the fighting type, Hal.]

I wasn't recommending you to fight me. What would be the point of that? I would win and you would end up with broken bones or worse. Besides, I need you alive. Injured, you're no use to me at all. I need those hands in working order to build me things.

[gematria]

[It should be telling he's more amused than scared, actually.] That's quite the offer, Liquid. But, I like my hands better when they are not building weapons of mass destruction... and that is something you should know, too.

Haven't been building much lately either. [He's more of a programmer/gadgeteer than a roboticist these days. If REX hadn't crushed his drive to pursue robot building... knowing what he does now about his dad certainly finished the job.]

[liquid_serpent]

[He narrowed his eyes. He didn't like being refused.]

Metal Gear was everything I ever wanted. It was just too bad that Brother and others got in my way and ruined everything. [Yes, he sounds like a spoiled brat.]

If you haven't been building any Metal Gears, what have you been doing? Reading dirty manga and watching anime? [Because he does know what you are like, Otacon.]

[gematria]

That too, I suppose. [He raises an eyebrow at you, serious and looking at you eye-to-eye.] But my main occupation these days is actually destroying metal gears. Wherever they are.

[Did the engineer grow a spine after Shadow Moses? He doesn't look like the shivering mess you personally locked into his own office.]

I've been wondering if everything was "ruined" for all of us before we were even born. Maybe there are other things you could've wanted. Nothing of what happened is fair, but-- it's life, and it doesn't have to be the end. You should take that into consideration.

[mrthunderbolt]

[Yo, past Hal.]

Letting go of the past is overrated.

[gematria]

[Hello, future Jack]

Heh. I wouldn't be so sure, considering what has happened to me whenever I haven't been able to.

Perhaps there's a way to find a compromise.

[mrthunderbolt]

Compromise?

[Raiden had always struggled with his past as well, but had learned to use it, when convenient, to power himself forward. Jack the Ripper had saved his ass more than once. He wouldn't have access to that if he had let go of his past.]

What do you mean?

[gematria]

That would mean, taking from the past whatever helps you stay alive and grow... and leaving behind what hurts.

[Guilt used to be a powerful motivator for him. But it's impossible and destructive to pursue a goal for ten years fueled on guilt alone, though this Hal hasn't gotten that far yet.]

The thing is, nobody can ever give you a shortcut on how to know one from the other. Certainly not me. [... Actually, he's not even from MGS4, so--] Ah, Raiden? Actually I'd like to ask-- [And he gives you a once-over. Not disgusted, but curious, and well. Worried.] What happened to you?

[mrthunderbolt]

Why not use what hurts to help you stay alive and grow? Doesn't pain make a good motivator?

[So this Hal was on the younger side.]

The Patriots decided I was more useful this way. Heh. [He chuckled darkly. Oh how things had changed since The Big Shell.]

[gematria]

[Musing] It's kind of a double-edged sword, though, isn't it? Pain only gets you so far... Sounds more like a recipe for anger than growt to me.

[Post MGS2, still hasn't gotten Sunny. There's other Hal going around from this same mun that's post MGS4.]

[Your laughter is not the only thing that darkens. His face does as well.] I see. Not a long explanation, but very... concise, all the same. May I ask then, how it happened?

[mrthunderbolt]

If anger can help you get done what you have to, why not use it? [He certainly did.]

I got captured, experimented on, torn apart, and placed in a cyborg body. Everything you see is fake. [He tapped his eye strap.] They say nothing's better than a human weapon in a war economy.

[gematria]

[He's not judging - he's interested:] What do you do with it, after you've accomplished what you needed? Is it possible to put anger away for a later use, or it remains exactly the same?

[He can't help but wince. Sad now:] ... I wish there had been a way to prevent it, then. But if it's of any use - I'm glad you're still alive.

[mrthunderbolt]

I put mine away until I need it again. Just like a sword, it's a tool to be used.

[Raiden had almost forgotten how kind Hal could be. He rubbed the back of his fluffy blond head, a bit embarrassed.] ... Thanks, Otacon.

[gematria]

[Interested] Huh. Is it that easy, then? How do you do it?

[This Hal doesn't have Sunny yet and the Big Shell is quite close in his mind. How could he not regret what happened to Raiden?] It's alright. I just had thought things would be better for you. How is it going now?

[mrthunderbolt]

By watching my FC gauge. I can only use it when the gauge is full.

... My mun is searching for other options. For now,, I'm still here. [He shakes his head, disapprovingly.]

[gematria]

[Hal listens, offers you a smile.] Aah, I see. Don't believe I've got one of those, so I wouldn't risk it. But whatever works, right?

[A pause while the mun checks the link, and then:] Huh. We could all arrange a little something, don't you think? Maybe moving together. I'm told that's what they call "A Cast". That one is a fun game for memes, but something more permanent would suit me better, in my opinion.

[mrthunderbolt]

Yeah. I think it's a cyborg thing. [Well, he had no doubt of it. Or maybe it was just a thing for main characters with their own games.]

Got any place in mind? [Raiden is interested - even if just to get away from that Hotel.]

[gematria]

[Being a main character certainly has some perks... and a lot of sacrifice too, he guesses.]

[Enthused, but sadly with no certain answer.] I'm afraid I don't, yet. But my mun has been looking. It seems like there are a couple of muns trying to organize a Mother Base MGS-themed panfandom place, but it's barely started. What would yours prefer? Any ideas?

[mrthunderbolt]

... I wouldn't mind that. [He had certainly heard stories about Mother Base; didn't sound like a place he would be bored. Lots of fighting to do with other soldiers, too.]

Uh... Something with a familiar canon. Easy to follow. No/Easy application. Not a lot of stress about how often you post. [Raiden shrugs.] Mun isn't picky.

[misinterpreted]

They could use the past to decide on the path to walk for the future. We always have something to learn from what came before.

[Not always good, not always bad. It is what it is.]

[gematria]

[There's a reason he always liked you better, despite never knowing you personally.]

[Softly] I agree with you. It's not the same, to drag the past around hoping nobody else notices... until it can't be contained, I think. But sometimes it's hard to know what is to learn, when the past is painful. Has happened to me, and also to my mun - hence the uncertainty.

A pleasure to meet you, ma'am. [Hal smiles]

[misinterpreted]

It's Boss. [As opposed to ma'am, that is.]

But where you are now, reflecting on the past, that isn't something anyone else can do for you. Your experiences are your own, and only you know how they affected you. Really affected you. Even sharing that with someone else doesn't guarantee they'll understand.

Once you've reflected and decided on what future you want to create for yourself...that's when you should stop going it alone.

Just some advice.

[Still such a mom, honestly.]

[gematria]

Boss. I'm sorry. [He wasn't sure on how to speak to you. It's-- actually quite huge for him, getting to know you. He's actually looking happy.]

[Softly:] Deciding is a lonely thing... but the aftermath doesn't have to be, right?

I think, we both would like to interact a little bit more, with others. Neither my mun nor I know where to start, but... I think I've been "inside" for too long.

It's good advice. Thank you, for real. [Best mom ever, and way better than any mother Hal got to know.]