It's so funny

[smartass_captain]

This is what's going to happen here.

You are either going to let me go back to my home, back to my ship and my crew and my mission or we're going to have problems.

I get it. The Nexus is fun, New people, new places, all that. But all this refusal to let me go back? Do you even know who you're dealing with here? I'm not giving up, and you need to quit giggling like some sort of demented sadist every time I think I'm getting back to the Enterprise.

It's not funny.

Comments

[uhurajustuhura]

All due respect, Captain... it is a little funny.

Congrats, you've made him speechless

[smartass_captain]

All due respect my a--

Uhura?

Aw

[uhurajustuhura]

Sorry, sir. We're not really in charge here - they are.

Watch him fall on his ass again

[smartass_captain]

Just watch me.

You know she'd enjoy that.

[uhurajustuhura]

Oh, so you have a plan?

He doesn't

[smartass_captain]

Of course I do. It's me, remember?

[ixis]

His plan is to antagonize powerful wizards and then cry when he gets his comeuppance!

[ixis]

HA HA HA HA HA HA

YOU FELL ON YOUR ASS

Jim is not king of FORT ASSHOLE today

[smartass_captain]

I really hate you.

FORT ASSHOLE CROWN IS MINE

[ixis]

I know.

[not_logical]

Captain. [You're much younger than the Captain he knows so well. An interesting comparison.]

Why would getting back to the Enterprise cause a need to giggle? There is no logic in that assumption.

[smartass_captain]

What the fff--

Spock? Holy shit you aged well

I got dumped into some multiversal hub while on an away mission. No way back to the Enterprise and the mun here thinks that it's really damn funny to watch me try.

[not_logical]

Yep, he aged well, Jim.

Fascinating. It seems these mundanes will seek anything which amounts to amusement no matter what the situation. What was this multiversal hub?

[smartass_captain]

It's so weird, seeing you like this. I've seen you like really old. And normal. Not like this. Uhura stopped by, too. It's...it's good to see you guys are okay.

Some place called The Nexus.

[not_logical]

Weird? In what way? I am still the same man no matter if I look older or younger. The word weird is not a very good example of noticing the difference in different versions of myself. Are there others in the crew within this place?

[smartass_captain]

Yeah, it's you alright. Don't worry about it Spock, it's a turn of phrase. I didn't expect t'see you, any you. That's all.

I'm the only one, s'far as I know. There was some Jem'Hadar from some alternate reality distant future, he was pretty nice. But not the same.

[aw_hawkguy]

Muns, right? Mine just got Hawkeye volume four a couple days ago, so guess who's got two thumbs and gets to get stabbed in the ears soon? This guy! Thanks, Matt Fraction!

[smartass_captain]

Holy shit all of my friends are here except the gremlin won't go away so I can wish for Bones too. And maybe Scotty.

Wait. Wait. Shit. You what? No. No I have a phaser and I will set it to kill if I have to. Not cool.

I might be out of my corn fed mind, but Iowa bros got to stick together, right? Right. Fuck the Muns. I've got my phaser.

[ixis]

I'M NOT LEAVING.

[aw_hawkguy]

Man, I'm glad you're around, Jim. And that my mun doesn't take canon as gospel. That clown's gonna get one hell of a surprise.

I'm not being facetious with the clown part, either. That's my big villain in this series. A literal clown from Poland.

[smartass_captain]

How boned are you if a legit super hero is thanking a smartass with a stun gun for sticking up for him.

Fair's fair. Kill my mun I'll kill yours. If they try anything. You hear that! We're taking you hostage! Get me back to my ship or I'll kill Clint's mun and set him free!

[brave_heart_verity]

Uhm...

Jim?

Please don't do that.

[smartass_captain]

Shut up Verity play along

What? It's a standoff now. Clint and I are on strike. Armed strike even.

What could possibly go wrong?

[aw_hawkguy]

Wow, that is definitely the hallmarks of a Jim Kirk plan. Now we just need to logic-bomb a computer and hook you up with a green lady, and it'd be the most Jim Kirk plan ever.

Have ya met my friend Jen? She's a lawyer.

[smartass_captain]

See? He gets it.

Also, you know Gaila? She's sweet, but we never had time for a second date. If I find her, I'll pass your number along. Careful though. Pheremones. And you know. they're feral in bed.