dear_mun | ( canon: the raven cycle

[ Adam, this is not the attitude. ]

I don't know why you're limiting us to one of the two. It'll not be the same if we don't have both.

[ And anyway - ]

It's more of a problem if we leave them behind. You know that isn't the plan, Adam.

[ Shit. ]

No, it won't. It might actually be peaceful. [ Because wars and super villains and powers are exactly the kind of thing that will light a match to Ronan Lynch's molotov. ]

It's Ronan. When he gets us all turned into a wet smear on the pavement I'm not being held responsible.

It's not going to be peaceful. They're in the middle of a Cold War that's inching towards heat. It's going to be anything but peaceful.

[ He really ought to sound more worried about this, shouldn't he?

Gansey can't help it. All of that politics is incidental to the reason he wants to go, so while he's keen to keep on top of it, it's far from what actually motivates him. ]

That's not the point. It's a whole other world, with magic and actual superpowers, and a porter that no one even pretends to understand. It's sitting there, waiting to be investigated.

Ronan won't want to miss that.

[ He wants to say Ronan won't care but Gansey's faith in his friend has always been blinding and Adam doesn't have the heart to. He wants to go too, not for the reasons Gansey does, but because it gives him time, gives him a moment to breathe. The war doesn't feel real to him, it seems like the way fairy stories should be in a world where they aren't real. ]

Fine.

When he goes to marks his territory can you at least make sure he directs it somewhere where he won't get arrested? It's not like you can tap your account for bail money there. [ Ah Adam, money on trees. ] And you know we have to be careful about the whole magic thing, right? You're not going to charge right in? [ Please, Gansey. He's fragile. His heart can't take it. ] It's not our world. They might not like it.

[ Gansey waves off the worry of money. ]

We'll manage.

[ How they'll manage, he doesn't know, but he's optimistic enough to be sure they will. Gansey has literally never had to worry about money in his life. He can't really appreciate what that would be like. ]

Listen, you don't have to worry. It's a place where everyone has powers. Everyone, Adam. Everyone who's brought there, they're all a part of something bigger. It's not going to be a secret.

[ He's already thinking about how helpful that could be. How much he could learn from it. ]

They might even want to talk about it. Wouldn't you?

[ He has to bite back his frustration. This isn't new. Gansey has and always will be the type of person who has onwards and upwards whizzing around his head. He doesn't worry because there's no room for it when there is wonder. So it's left to Adam to be the one who hoards concerns like they're precious. ]

If I had powers? [ He barely wanted to talk about Cabeswater. ] Not really, no.

[ But that's Adam. Strange and secretive Adam who barely knows how to trust the people he loves. ] You're looking forward to it. [ It's not accusatory at all. He's long past that. ] Heroes and villains and magic and McCarthyism.

[ Gansey waves a finger at him, but there's a definite edge to his smile. He is looking forward to it. ]

I can do without the politics. I don't care about that, I care about the rest.

Can you imagine the adventure? Pulled to another world. All the time I've spent trying to find the secrets of one world, I never dreamed there might be another. Especially not one that opens magic up to everyone who passes through.

[ There's an energy about Gansey while he warms to his theme. His hazel eyes have a spark to them, and he's wearing the sort of expression that means he could carry this on for hours. ]

I want to understand that. I want to know what it means, to everyone who's brought there - and that's not even taking into account that they're all from different worlds, themselves. The possibilities are endless.

And we could be in the middle of it all.

[ It's time for a lecture. Adam can recognise that motion anywhere. He's seen it often enough. Still, it warms something in him every time he does. ]

So Cabeswater isn't enough for you now? [ It's vaguely teasing, the hint of it creeping into Adam's words along with the twang of Henrietta. ] You have to dream bigger than big? [ It's hard to be the thing that brings such joy down with a crash. ] We are going to be in the middle of it, you mean? It's you. Of course you're going to want to.

You'll want to discover it, Ronan will want to piss on it, Noah will want to cover it in glitter, Blue will want to change it. I suppose the place should be glad it's only the three of us so far.

[ Gansey does want to discover it. Already, that rings true. Nothing Adam says is wrong, but their attitudes to it are entirely different. Gansey sees the possibilities; Adam sees the risks. Sometimes, that's frustrating, but it's also part of why Gansey needs Adam. He's smiling, half indulgent, half admiring. ]

It's enough until there's more. You can't ever dream big enough, not when there's so much still to see. That really doesn't excite you, even a little?

You know the rest of us well enough. What is it you want to do?

[ Gansey needs a guard dog sometimes. Usually Ronan fits that bill but if he's not going to show up than Adam will have to. Although he doesn't look exactly threatening. ] I don't know. It's different, I guess.

[ And what does Adam want? The same as he always does. He wants to survive. ] A nap.

[ It's simple and he shrugs his shoulders as he says it, lifting his eyebrows a little at Gansey in return. ] I just don't think it's going to help with all of the other problems we've got. I know the logistics of it. Time stops. But time doesn't mean anything with Cabeswater around. And we have so much going on in Henrietta. I just don't like the idea of it all being on hold. It waiting for us. Stagnating.

It can’t stagnate if it’s paused.

[ Stagnation needs the passage of time. And while it’s true that time doesn’t matter to Cabeswater, that works in reverse, too. ]

The ley line has existed for thousands of years. A few months isn’t going to change that, and we may learn something that can help us. It’s a whole other world. We can’t waste that opportunity.

[ That’s how he sees it. A chance to learn more. An adventure. A new section in his notebook, new knowledge that will feed into everything he already knows. ]

You worry far too much.

[ Yes, thank you Gansey. ]

Fine. [ He says it with a sigh, leaning back on his heels and looking away from his friend. He doesn't know why he's even arguing, Gansey will go and Adam will have to follow him because he'd go as far as the ends of the Earth and beyond just to make sure he's safe. ]

Fine, but seriously. No costumes. No capes. No code names. I'll do all the other stuff, but not that.

Well.

[ Let's not run away with ourselves here, Parrish. ]

We'll want to take a look at the costumes first. They might have a rogueish appeal.

And by all the other stuff, do you mean heroism? [ Are you going to be a hero, Adam? ]

[ He pulls a slightly horrified face. ]

Spandex is the one thing I doubt you could pull off. [ Scraping the toe of his shoe against the floor. ] And no. I meant the living stuff. The warehouse, the working, the not going crazy because we're trapped there thing. I don't think I have much of a hero in me.

So, you're content to live with us, then?

[ He sounds cagey when he says that, like he's not quite certain of the answer. ]

I thought you might say no. [ Again. ]

[ He looks uncomfortable, his expression tight and his gaze drifting away. ]

Yeah. I think it's for the best. It might not be safe so we should all stick together.

[ Gansey feels delighted, and immediately works to curb that feeling. He conceals it, making his pleased smile that much gentler, less excited. More normal. As if this isn't a big deal, when actually, it's so much of what he wants. ]

No. Of course, you're right. I'd like that, all of us together. I think that will help.

[ Of course it's a big deal. It's everything Adam has always said no to, everything he's fought against. But when he thinks about living by himself in a strange city he feels oddly lost. Isn't it what he wanted? To get out of Henrietta? To be free? And yet here he is saying yes to sticking close to Gansey, to letting him win. ]

Besides, someone's got to make sure you guys don't starve. [ He does his best to interject a teasing tone into his voice. ] I'm not sure you even know what the word budget means.

I know perfectly well what it means.

[ He's just not very good at abiding by one, that's the problem. Gansey has never needed to be, and it shows in almost everything he does. ]

I'm sure I can live within one. Of course, you're aware that registering would keep us all perfectly solvent, regardless.

[ Somehow, he doubts Adam will take that option. Personally, he's still on the fence. ]

It would also mean we'd have to do exactly what they asked. [ And Adam's not a conspiracy theorist. He'd like to be in politics himself one day. That's how you get money and safety. But he doesn't know that he'd trust a government that believed in superheroes. ]

I just think we should be careful about who we trust.

I know.

[ Because that's Adam, all over. Adam doesn't trust anyone. ]

But if we don't, we lose any level of protection they offer. Their eyes are far more likely to be on us, and that would make searching for our way out a lot more difficult. We'll be in their world. We can't just say their rules are meaningless.

[ Adam would trust more if every time they met someone new he didn't have to worry about them taking Gansey away from him. ]

So you want to hide in plain sight? [ He looks thoughtful, like this is just another thing they have to work out together. Just because Glendower is a little further away doesn't mean those skills leave him. ] Either way seems pretty dangerous. I guess we're gonna have to choose the one we can control the best.

[ Gansey's shoulder lifts. He despises the thought of being out of control. That won't work for him at all. ]

If we're registered, they think we're there on their terms. What we do won't be scrutinised, not in the same way, and they'll have less of a reason to resent us.

[ A little pause. ] It seems the diplomatic thing to do.

[ He would definitely like to be outside of the sphere of scrutiny. That's pretty much Adam's main ambition until he makes it big and nobody can know of his past. ]

Okay.

[ It makes sense. ] I guess we're registering then. But seriously, you bring me tights and I'm quitting.

[ That’s a relief, which Gansey’s little smile shows.

Of course, then it turns a good deal more amused. Which probably isn’t a good thing. ]

Are you sure? I could probably find you something in orange. I really think tangerine is your color; you should embrace it.

[ Adam half-heartedly glares at him but it does nothing to stop the edges of his smile creeping up. ]

Whatever, we all know you've been pining for a cape.

[ This, on Gansey's face? This is a smile of victory. He points at Adam. ]

I would not argue if they gave me one.

Only because it would be fashionable, mind. I have no intention of fighting anyone.

You know we might have to, right?

[ Adam doesn't want to fight anyone. His issues on fists - both his and others - are monumental. Knowing he could be in a position where he might get hit again startles a dull terror in him. But as ever he has to be pragmatic about these things. ]

If they need heroes, they need them for a reason. It might not be all that safe there and maybe we won't be able to refuse them.

[ Something in Gansey's face hardens. This isn't what he's willing to hear.

He'll register. He'll let them know exactly what he's capable of, and exactly what he's not, and he will hold his ground. ]

There is always a way to say no. They are not going to force you into something we cannot control.

I won't let them. [ A pause. ] We. We won't let them.

[ Privately he's not so sure Gansey will be able to have that amount of power. Adam knows eventually they'll want something and not one of his friends will be able to refuse.

Instead of voicing it he offers Gansey a small smile. ] Yeah, we'll figure something out. At least we'll all be together.

( canon: the raven cycle | on reserves @ mom )

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